Guilty Pleasures
by Virg
Summary: Remy’s left her without warning. on her 21st bday Rogue sleeps with Logan. Logan wants Rogue,but could she be happy with him? What do u do when you hate yourself, your lover and you feel nothing but hollowness inside? ROMY ROGAN sexual themes, selfharm
1. ch1: Happy Birthday, Rogue

**GUILTY PLEASURES**

**By Virg**

**FULL SUMMARY:** Rogue turns 21. Remy's just left her & she doesn't feel like partying. Logan takes her out to a bar anyway. They get drunk and end up sleeping together in the back of Logan's truck. Now Rogue's ashamed, but Logan wants more! What happens when Remy returns to the mansion? Will Rogue's feelings of emptiness consume her? Romy, Rogan.

**RATED FOR SEXUAL AND (LATER) SUICIDAL THEMES**

**author's notes:** this is my 2nd xmen evo story. And this one is going to be a little more grown up than my last one. Rated for sexual themes. I got the idea for this story when I saw a pic of Logan kissing Rogue (can be found here: www. ihostphotos. com /show.php?id168917)I also got the idea from a past relation ship I was in (dw, I wasn't cutting myself then). Well, enough about me, I hope you like the story! When I've been writing this I've been thinking of Hugh Jackman as Logan (Coz he's HOT)! Lol.

**Ch1: Happy Birthday Rogue**

Rogue sat in her bedroom, staring at the wall. She was depressed. She hadn't left her room for days. Jean would come in every now and then to bring Rogue her meals, but yesterday the professor decided that Rogue should come out of her room if she wants to eat. And so, Rogue hadn't eaten in a full day.

"Bastard," She said out loud. Although the comment was aimed at the professor, she really blamed Remy for her sadness. They'd been together almost from the moment Remy set foot within the x-mansion a couple of years ago. It wasn't until Rogue finally gained control of her powers three months ago that she and Remy began to get serious about their relationship. But something wasn't right. Remy had slowly started to distance himself from her. Then, three days before her twenty-first birthday, it hits. Remy's broken up with her and leaves the mansion. He re-joined the acolytes because decided he couldn't live under the same roof as Rogue.

"Whatever that means."

Rogue leaned back and lay down on the bed. Her legs were hanging off the side of the bed and her arms spread wide.

"Sometimes I wish I could just fly away."

She didn't know how long she'd been lying there, or if she'd fallen asleep, because the next thing she knew, it was night outside. There was a knock at the door and Rogue turned her head to the door. She couldn't be bothered getting up. "Come in!" She called out instead.

The door opened and it was Logan standing in her doorway. She'd always had a close bond with Logan since she came to the mansion almost five years ago. He'd taught her how to be strong, how to fight and how to control her anger. Logan crossed his arms and leaned on the doorframe.

"Hey," Rogue said. Her voice showed how depressed she was.

"Come on, get up." Logan said. He nodded his head upwards to indicate that he wanted her to get up.

Rogue stopped looking at Logan and returned her attention to the roof. "Why?"

Logan sighed. "Look, Stripes. You're twenty-one now and you're moping in bed. Come on, you gotta get out of the mansion."

Rogue grabbed her pillow and put it on her face. "Ah dun wanna go anywhere."

Logan rolled his eyes and pushed off the doorframe. He walked up to Rogue's bed and removed the pillow. "Trust me. You'll regret it later on when you look back and realise that you didn't go out and celebrate your twenty-first," Logan explained. He looked at Rogue. She had been crying again. Good thing Remy left the mansion or Logan would have wanted to knock some sense into that boy. Rogue looked into Logan's brown eyes but didn't say anything. He sat himself down on the side of her bed and put a hand on her arm. "Come on. Just you and me. I'll tell the others that you'll go out with them another day. You wont have to face anyone but me."

Rogue sat up and wiped her eyes. "They don't mind?" She asked.

Logan smiled and shook his head. "Come on. Get dressed and I'll wait for you at the front door in five." After receiving a nod from Rogue, Logan got up and left the room.

Rogue got up and walked over to her closet. She pulled out her black jeans and her dark green polo top. Since she'd gained control of her powers she wasn't afraid to wear anything with no sleeves. However, out of pure habit, she still wore her gloves. After changing her clothes, she picked up her black gloves off the dresser and headed out the door. Just as Logan had said, he was waiting for her at the front door. It was raining outside, so they took Logan's truck instead of his motorbike.

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Rogue's hold on her glass was slipping. She and Logan had been drinking for three hours now and they were both already drunk.

"Ah just don't understand why he left!" Rogue explained. "Ah thought everything was going fine!" Rogue began to cry. "Ah mean, ah just got control over ma powers and now ah still cant get a guy!"

Logan snorted. He took another swig of his scotch. "I've been single for probably fifteen years now, so you can't talk."

Rogue could feel the room spinning. She wasn't paying attention to what Logan was saying. "Yeah, but ah know Remy loves me. Yah just don't stop loving someone that quickly!" Rogue yelled. She quickly drank the last of her tequila and slammed the glass back on the table. She was so drunk that she couldn't even sit on her chair properly. She felt like she was falling backwards, but couldn't figure out that she had lost her balance.

Logan quickly grabbed her by the arm and pulled her back up. "I think we better go. You can't stand, I am just managing to stand."

Rogue allowed Logan to hold her up by the arms as they left the bar. When they got to the car, Logan leaned Rogue on the truck. He was about to go for his keys, but he stopped when Rogue's hand was already placed over his pocket. Logan watched as Rogue's hand reached down his pocket and pull out his keys. He felt bad that he was turned on by Rogue's hand being so close to his family jewels. He prayed to himself not to get a hard on over it. He watched as Rogue drunkily jiggled the keys in front of him.

"Yah know it's bad tah drink an' drive," She slurred. Her eyes were barely open and he knew she'd be hung over in the morning.

"Alright, we'll call a cab," Logan slurred back.

Rogue reached into her back pocket and pulled out her cell phone. She closed one eye as she fumbled with the numbers. "Um, Logan. What's the number for a cab?"

Logan told her that it was _555-cabs_.

"Which button is the five again?" Rogue was so drunk that she couldn't even see the numbers on her phone. Logan took the phone off her and dialled the number. He was drunk, but not so drunk that he couldn't see the numbers on the phone. He called for a cab and then gave the phone back to Rogue.

"Logan, ahm cold."

"Okay, we'll wait in the truck until the cab comes."

Logan opened the passenger door for Rogue and helped her into her seat. He then stumbled around to the driver's side and got into the driver's seat. Rogue leaned her head on Logan's shoulder. From that angle, he could see right down her polo top.

'God, she's hot,' Logan thought to himself. He mentally smacked himself for thinking about one of his students in that way. He told himself off when he caught himself looking down her top again. Rogue was quiet and he thought she may have fallen asleep. Logan placed his hand under her chin and lifted her face up so that Rogue was looking at him. "You okay?"

Rogue's eyelids were half closed and she smiled drunkily. "Super."

Her face was only inches away from his. Logan moved his face closer to hers but then stopped himself from moving any further. 'You should know better than that!' he told himself. But the alcohol was telling him to go for it.

Rogue noticed that Logan's lips were close enough to hers that she could feel is breath on her lips. At first she thought it was the alcohol, but then she realised that Logan was moving in to kiss her. Normally she would have told Logan to get off her, but today something was different. Today she was not only tremendously drunk, but extremely lonely too. She was depressed because Remy was no longer there for her, and she felt that she needed to get her mind off him.

Rogue and Logan didn't remember who made the next move, but if one of them was to blame for the 'activities' of that night, it was Logan. Rogue was blind drunk but Logan still had some semblance of reason as he allowed Rogue to climb on top of him. Rogue was too drunk to tell the difference between a truck and a taxi, but Logan was too busy with Rogue's pants to notice the Taxi waiting for them on the side of the road. After a few minutes, the taxi driver drove away.

_Hold on to me  
You know I can't stay long  
All I wanted to say was I love you and I'm not afraid  
Can you hear me?  
Can you feel me in your arms?_

_(Evanescence- My Last Breath)_


	2. ch2: Repercussions

**author's notes:** I thought I'd be good and post two chapters to start the story off.. I hope ya'll are liking this pairing.. don't worry if u don't because the romyness comes later! Weee! DON'T FORGET TO REVIEWWWWW!

**ch2: repercussions**

Logan was the first to wake that morning. It took him a few seconds to realise that he was still in his truck and that they'd never caught the taxi home the night before. Then he remembered something he thought he'd never do.

"_Logan! Oh God! Logan!"_

Logan quickly realised that he was naked. Last night he had rolled the seat back and was lying down. He also realised that a very naked Rogue lay on top of him. She still slept, and he figured she'd be asleep for quite a while longer. But he couldn't let her sleep any longer. He had to get them home as soon as possible. But at the same time, he didn't know how to face everyone at home with the knowledge that he'd just slept with a student. 'A drunk student!' he thought to himself. He didn't know how Rogue was going to react to realising what they'd done. He himself didn't know how to react! Logan realised that he still needed to wake Rogue up so that he can get her off him, so that he can get his clothes.

"Oh God. What have I done?" Logan said to himself. He took a deep breath and then lightly tapped Rogue's cheek.

"Rogue," he said softly. "Wake up."

Rogue mumbled a few words in her sleep, but didn't wake. So he tried again. "Come on, Rogue. Wake up."

This time Rogue opened her eyes a crack and looked up at Logan. He could tell she was trying to register what had happened and where they were. Then her eyes widened and Logan knew she realised she was naked and what had happened. "Oh mah God!" She quickly tried to sit up and cover herself up with her arms, but to her the world was still spinning. She ungracefully found her way to the passenger seat and tried to cover herself up. "Where are mah clothes?" She said. She looked at Logan and realised he too was naked. She couldn't stop her head from spinning and it was making it hard for her to remember the previous night's activities. Logan reached into the back seat and grabbed all the clothes. He put his own clothes on top of his lap to cover himself up, and handed Rogue hers. She placed her clothes on top of her body to cover herself up.

"Did we.." Rogue asked. She couldn't finish the sentence because she was still in shock over what had happened.

Logan looked at her, but then found that he was too ashamed and embarrassed to face her, so he looked out the windscreen instead. "Yeah."

"Oh mah God.." Rogue said to herself. She had a vague memory of getting into the car, then slowly her memories of it all started to come to her. She was embarrassed. She tried to put on her clothes, but it would have been impossible to cover herself up completely without Logan seeing her body. "Can yah get out?" She asked, not facing him. "Ah want tah get dressed now."

Logan nodded. Rogue looked out the passenger window as Logan got dressed. After he had his clothes on, he got out of the truck and stood with his back to the car. Rogue tried to get dressed as fast as humanly possible. She wanted to get back home. She didn't know what to make of what had happened, but she knew that there would be some huge repercussions of what they'd done.

"_You're so beautiful, Rogue,"_ she heard Logan's voice in her head. She remembered him saying it to her last night. She remembered his breath on her ear as he said it. She didn't want to remember anymore.

"Okay, ahm dressed," Rogue called out to Logan. She tried to get the thoughts of last night out of her head. Her head was still spinning and she felt like if she moved too much she might throw up.

Logan got back in the truck and started the engine. He saw Rogue put her hands on her stomach. "You gonna be okay?" he asked. 'Stupid question, Logan!' he thought to himself.

Rogue didn't look at Logan. "Ah just wanna get home."

Neither of them said a word on the way home. Logan kept his eyes on the road and Rogue looked out her window. The ride seemed to be taking forever.

Once they'd gotten home, Logan walked over to the passenger door to help Rogue out of the truck. He awkwardly held out his hand, but Rogue didn't take it.

He knew things were going to get awkward, so he stepped out of the way and Rogue almost landed flat on her face as she got out of the truck. She held on to the side of the truck as her head kept spinning. She felt like if she moved too much, she'd throw up. Logan watched as Rogue started stumbling her way to the garden. Rogue was thankful that she reached the garden in time as she threw up all over Storm's roses. She'd have to apologise to Storm for that later. Admittedly, throwing up did make her feel a little better. Logan stood at the truck, not knowing what to do. Things were already awkward, but he knew that Rogue needed help getting to her room. Since it was still before 6am on a weekend, no one would be up yet, so Logan decided to help her. Rogue protested as Logan picked her up but she stopped when she realised she wouldn't make it to her room without his help. She allowed Logan to carry her in his arms all the way to her room.

Feeling Logan so close to her made her feel uncomfortable and it kept bringing back memories of the night before.

"_I love you, Rogue_." Rogue tried to look at anything but Logan as flashes of the night before ran though her mind. She remembered her hands being in places you should never touch your teacher. She remembered the smell of Logan, his cologne. Now all she smelled was the stench of booze and sex all over herself and Logan. Dizzy or no, she needed to have a shower.

When Logan reached her room, he placed Rogue on the bed. He walked to her bathroom and grabbed the bucket full of bathroom cleaning products from under the sink. He emptied out all the cleaning products and brought back the bucket. He placed it on the floor next to Rogue's bed. Rogue was lying on her side, in the foetal position. She'd need a few more hours to sleep it off. Logan on the other hand, was sober when he woke up in the truck. He stood, watching her for a moment. Her long brown hair flowed out on the pillow, her make up was all smudged and her clothes were wrinkled. But Logan still saw a thing of beauty before him.

'You're so perverted, Logan!' he thought to himself. 'She is barely legal and you slept with her. You're old enough to be her father! Grandfather even!'

Logan, feeling disgusted with himself, left the room and closed the door behind him.

He walked to his room and thought about what hadled him to sleep with Rogue. Booze. Loneliness. Those two things came hand in hand. He knew if anyone found out he slept with Rogue, Xavier would send him away. Rogue was of age, but she was still a student at the mansion. And Logan was still an instructor at the mansion.

"Yeah, but for how long?" Logan asked himself.

Logan jumped in the shower to rid himself of the alcohol and sex smell. He couldn't stop thinking about Rogue. He kept thinking about her on top of him in the truck. Her hands wondering in places he never thought she'd go. The way she called out his name.

"_Logan! Oh God! Logan!" _

Logan could feel himself getting a hard on over just the thought of the previous night. He felt so disgusted with himself for letting himself take advantage of Rogue. She was more drunk than he, and she was so lonely.

'It was good though. Where did a girl like her learn so much about sex?' Logan thought to himself. He admitted that he enjoyed the whole thing and that he wanted to do it again if Rogue were sober. Then he mentally kicked himself again for the fact that he should never have slept with a student.

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Rogue slept on until lunchtime. When she awoke, the dizziness was almost gone, but her stomach hurt like hell. She rolled out of bed and shuffled over to the bathroom. She leaned on the sink as she looked at herself in the mirror. She was a wreak. Her make up was smudged and her hair was messy. She was thankful that everyone was still asleep when she and Logan arrived home.

"Fuck!" she groaned to herself. She vowed never to get that drunk again as she turned on the shower. Even though she hoped Logan would not say a word of what had happened, she prayed that no one would find out, especially not Remy.

The hot water made her feel better, as if she were washing away all the filth from last night's doings. Her stomach was rumbling and Rogue realised that she hadn't eaten since yesterday and that Xavier wont let anyone bring her food anymore. That meant that Rogue would have to go get it herself. That meant facing everyone, including two psychics.

After the shower, Rogue returned to her bedroom and walked over to her closet. The day was warm, so she put on her jeans and a dark green singlet. After putting them on, she looked in the mirror to see if she looked okay.

"What's that mark?" Rogue asked herself. She walked closer to the mirror and realised that she had a hikkie on her shoulder. "Gawd Almighty!" She groaned. "Will it never end!" She walked over to her closet again and put on her red and white striped polo top. Satisfied with her reflection in the mirror, Rogue tied her hair up and left her room for the kitchen.

When she reached the kitchen door she suddenly stopped. "Oh God! They're gonna know as soon as I get in there!" She said to herself. "How are they gonna know? They wont know unless you tell them. And you're not going to tell them!" She reassured herself. Rogue took a deep breath and pushed the door open. As soon as students started to look in her direction, she already felt embarrassed.

"Hey Rogue!" Kurt greeted. "How was last night?"

Rogue wasn't sure what to say! What was she going to say? _It was good! I got drunk and slept with Logan!_ There was no way in hell was she going to say anything to give that away.

"Um.. It was okay," She replied. "Drank to much."

Kurt laughed. "Vell I hope you're going to be okay tonight, 'cause the rest of us are taking you out!"

Rogue let out a weak giggle. "Okay. But only if my stomach lets me," she smiled weakly.

Rogue walked past the breakfast table and gave a general greeting to the rest of the senior students that were sitting there. Rogue realised that Jean was staring at her. 'Shit!'

Rogue tried to ignore Jean, and hoped that Jean was smart enough not to read Rogue's mind. Rogue hated when Jean did that and if she did it today, Rogue would surely lash out. Rogue shuffled her way to the fridge. She saw that the door was already open, and she figured that either someone had left it open or someone was crouching to see what's in the fridge. But she couldn't see if someone was there or not because the door was blocking her view. When Rogue got a little closer, she realised that there was someone crouching. It was Logan. Just as she reached the fridge, Logan stood up with a beer in his hand. He stood up and realised Rogue was standing next to him.

Rogue looked at him and had no idea what to say. She was still a little uncomfortable and was still trying to register that she'd just slept with him. Rogue decided not to say anything. Logan was still staring at her as she opened the fridge door wider so that she could reach for the milk without having to touch Logan.

"Here. Let me," Logan offered as he too bent down to get the milk. His hand reached the milk carton by the time Rogue had lifted it off the shelf. Rogue wasn't prepared for Logan to touch her hand, and when he did, she dropped the milk.

"Crap Fuck!" Rogue yelled. She knew people usually left her alone when she was cranky, but Logan wouldn't take the hint. He walked over to the sink and grabbed two tea towels. He was about to use them to wipe up the mess, when Rouge took them off him. "It's okay. Ah got it," Rogue said harshly. To her, lashing out was her defence mechanism. And right now she felt vulnerable. She didn't want anyone to know what happened between her and Logan and she didn't know what to say to Logan. She was still moping over the fact that Remy had left, and now she had to deal with Logan.

Logan snorted at Rogue's remark and walked off.

Jean, Kurt, Scott and Kitty watched the exchange between Rogue and Logan. "I vonder what her problem is," Kurt commented.

"She'd probably just like, hungover," Kitty replied.

"I'm sensing something sexual about all that," Jean commented as she bit into her sandwich.

Scott looked stunned at his girlfriend. "Sexual?"

Kitty's face scrunched up. "That's like, totally gross, Jean!"

Jean shrugged. "I duno! I just got this weird vibe. It's probably nothing," She replied.

Kurt smiled. "Ven is it not sexual betveen those two. Zey're always hanging out togezer," He joked.

Kitty slapped Kurt on the back of the head. "That's totally disgusting Kurt! You know she's like, still pining for Remy!"

Kurt pouted as he rubbed the back of his head. "Geez! Sorry!"

Jean got up to help Rogue clean up the milk. Rogue saw Jean crouch on the floor next to her. "Thanks, but ah got it." Rogue said more kindly than how she'd said it to Logan.

Jean put a hand on Rogue's shoulder. "I know, but there's something I want to ask you without the others hearing," she whispered.

'Oh holy crapola!' Rogue thought to herself. 'Ah didn't think she'd figure it out so quickly!'

Jean sensed that Rogue was panicking. "It's probably nothing, but I sensed something… sexual between you and Logan right now. Is there something going on between you two?" Jean whispered.

Rogue had two options. One. Tell Jean everything and pray she didn't tell everyone else. Two. She could not tell Jean and let everyone think what they wanted to think.

Rogue needed some serious advice, so she chose option one. "You can't tell anyone."

Jean nodded and crossed her heart. She turned to check that no one was listening. Scott, Kurt and Kitty were chatting about random stuff, so Jean and Rogue were satisfied that no one was listening.

Rogue took a deep breath. "Last night, Logan took me tah some bar. We got drunk. So drunk that ah cant even remember half the night. Ah was so sad that Remy left. We called a cab tah get us home, 'cause Logan had been drinking too. It was cold so we waited in Logan's truck…" Rogue looked back at the floor. She was so embarrassed and not sure of what Jean would think.

"Rogue," Jean rubbed Rogue's arm. "What happened?"

Rogue looked back up at Jean. "Ah don't even remember how it started, but we.. er.. ah kinda slept with Logan," Rogue whispered. She watched as Jean put her hand on her mouth in shock. "Yah can't tell anyone!" Rogue whispered. The last thing she wanted was for Kitty to find out. That girl spread word faster than Quicksilver.

Jean didn't know what to say. "Oh my God!" she whispered. She took the milk-filled rag out of Rouge's hand and dropped it on the floor. "We need to talk about this somewhere else," Jean said. She held on to Rogue's arm and led her out of the kitchen and towards the girl's dorms.

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Logan angrily walked back to the Danger room. He was pissed off at Rogue. Rogue knew how to piss people off when she wanted to. He was alsoangry at himself. 'Why didn't you move so she could get the milk herself?' he asked himself. He honestly didn't know what he expected Rogue to do. He half expected her to give him a warm smile and the knowledge that everything would be okay between them. But that's not how it went.

He couldn't stop thinking about Rogue. Her skin, her smell. Suddenly she seemed so.. intoxicating. She'd been living at the mansion for years, and he realised that maybe what he thought was a friendship and protectiveness over Rogue, was really his way of dealing with how he really felt for her. Logan turned the corner to head for the Danger room, but suddenly he heard the Professor's voice in his head. "Logan, can I see you in my office."

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Rogue and Jean made their way down the numerous corridors to the girl's dorms. They went into Jean's room and Jean locked the door behind them.

"Rogue, what you did was.. serious!" Jean was lost for words to describe what she felt.

"More like disastrous!" Rogue groaned. She sat on the side of the bed. She held her head and leaned her elbows on her knees. "This is so fucked up! Ah dunno what to make of it all!"

Jean thought about it for a moment. "You said you were drunk?"

"Yeah. Blind drunk"

Jean paced around the room. "Well, we all know Logan's body regenerates a hell of a lot faster than ours. He was probably only tipsy when you two.. er.. well.."

Rogue looked up at Jean. "And?"

Jean couldn't believe that Rogue didn't see it. "Rogue! He took advantage of you! The fact that he did that.. with you.. is wrong to begin with, but the fact that you were blind drunk when it happened- it just makes it worse! It's borderline rape!" Jean exclaimed.

Rogue stood up so fast her stomach began to feel sick again. "Rape? No! It wasn't rape?"

Jean raised one eyebrow. "So it was totally consensual then?"

Rogue sat back down. "Ah.. Ah dunno. All ah remember is feeling so lonely and depressed because of Remy."

Jean realised that Rogue probably only did it out of comfort. She sat down next to Rogue. "Don't worry, I wont tell anyone. But think about maybe telling the professor."

"The professor! Why!" Rogue exclaimed. "Logan, and probably me too, will be told tah leave the mansion! Ah don't wanna leave!"

Jean sighed. "Okay. Then scratch that thought. But just know that I'll be here if you need."

"Thanks Jean."

Jean stood up again and smiled. "No Problem. And I don't care what you say, the rest of us are gonna take you out tonight. And I'm gonna make sure you have fun!"

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Logan reached the professor's office and knocked on the door. "Enter," the professor called out through the door.

Logan opened the door and entered the office. "You wanted to see me?" Logan asked as he sat down in one of the chairs so that he was facing Xavier.

The professor rolled his wheel chair out from the desk and he came around the desk so that his wheelchair was next to Logan's. "Yes. I've been sensing something odd coming from you and Rogue. I hate to say it, but I've been sensing a sexual vibe coming from the two of you," The professor prayed that he was wrong with what he believed had happened. When Logan bowed his head, the professor knew something had happened. "Logan," Xavier said, his voice showing more authority. "What happened last night?"

"Long story," Logan said, not taking his eyes off the floor.

"I've got all the time in the world, Logan."

Logan didn't want to tell, but he figured that the professor could and probably would find out by reading his mind anyway, so he might as well tell him. "Last night, I took Rogue out to a bar to celebrate her birthday. We got pretty drunk and.." Logan began fidgeting with his hands.

"And?.." the professor urged Logan on.

"I.. slept with Rogue," Logan said, embarrassed and ashamed of what Xavier might do to him. He looked back up at the professor, knowing Xavier would be disappointed in him.

"Logan. This is serious. Do you understand I could evict you from this mansion over an incident like this?" Xavier explained.

"I know. Don't get rid of me. You and I both know you need me here to train and protect the students. I'm the best fighter you got."

Xavier clasped is hands together and brought his hands up to his chin. He was thinking about what to do. "You know I need you here, but that doesn't give you the right to go gallivanting around with the students in that way. I'll allow you to stay on the condition that Rogue is all right with it and that this never happens again. Is that understood?"

Logan nodded. Xavier could sense Logan's sudden obsession with Rogue. "I want you to stay away from Rogue for a while too." Xavier instructed. Logan nodded and bowed his head again. "Logan. If I find out that you've done anything like this again, I will not hesitate to send you away."

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**author's notes:** hope ya'll liked this! Ive been going for a different sort of ROmy fic, so I hope ya'll are liking it as much as I! Next chapter is in a week so you guys BETTER REVIEW or else no chapter 3! MWAHAHAHHAHAHAH!


	3. ch3: Logan Wants More

**Author's notes:** this chapter would've been posted up a couple of days ago, but since so many of you reviewers were asking so many questions, I decided to add to this chapter at the last minute. To those that asked; im not following any story lines from any of the comics, movies etc. I saw that pic of logan kissing rogue and thought up the story. I didn't even know about the Rogan stories in the xmen movie section until you guys mentioned it! Remy is coming back next chapter, which should be posted up mid next week (coz im going to sydney end of this wk). & Because you guys kept asking why Remy left, I decided to add to the end of this chapter and now it has what happened when he left- originally I wasn't going to write how he left.

Okay, enjoy and don't forget to review!

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**ch3: Logan wants more **

It had been a week now since Rogue's birthday. Neither of them had spoken to each other since the incident where Rogue spilt the milk. Rogue was ignoring him and avoiding him, but Logan wanted so much to talk to Rogue. He didn't know what it was, but even after a week, he couldn't get enough of Rogue. Even though Xavier strictly told him not to do anything with Rogue like that again, Logan couldn't help thinking what it would be like to sleep with Rogue when they were both sober. To the rest of the students, The reason why Rogue and Logan weren't talking was because they'd had an 'argument'. Only Jean and Xavier, Rogue and himself knew the truth.

Logan couldn't sleep. He couldn't stop thinking about Rogue. He wanted to smell her again, to taste her, to be with her. He rolled over and stared at the clock. The large red numbers shone 1:14am. Realising he wasn't going to be able to sleep anytime soon, Logan got out of bed and made his way to the kitchen. On the way to the kitchen, he passed the lounge room. He heard that the TV was still on and he figured that maybe he could bust one of the students for staying up past lights out. As he walked closer to the door, he smelt it. Her scent. "Rogue," He whispered.

Anxious to finally be able to talk to Rogue, Logan walked into the rec room. Rogue, with her back to the door, was seated on the couch watching late night infomercials. She didn't realise Logan was in the room until he sat down on the couch next to her.

Seeing someone sitting next to her startled her. Rogue thought she was alone and didn't expect anyone to be awake at this time of night. "Logan!" Rogue said a little louder than she was aiming for. "What are yah doing here?" She asked anxiously.

Logan looked at her and realised he'd pretty much just ambushed her. She wasn't expecting him to be up, let alone come into the lounge room. "Cant sleep," He replied. "You?"

Rogue tried to relax. She'd been avoiding Logan all week and she realised that she needed to sort some things out between her and Logan, so this was as best a time as any. "Same," She said quickly then turned to look back at the T.V. She had no idea what to say to him.

Logan could tell she was still uncomfortable. He didn't want her to feel uncomfortable around him, especially since he wanted her to sleep with him again. He looked down at his hands. He was fidgeting for a moment while he contemplated what to say to her. "Why are you afraid of me?" He looked back up at her as he asked her.

"Ah'm not!" Rogue replied quickly. She was only partly lying. She wasn't afraid of him. She was _avoiding_ him because she felt guilty about sleeping with him. She still wanted Remy to come back, but now she knew she'd blown her chances of that ever happening once she'd slept with Logan. But on the flipside, she was afraid of what would happen if she admitted that she enjoyed that night in the truck. For the first time in a long time, from even before Remy left, she felt loved and wanted. That's all she ever wanted. To be loved. Maybe those feelings came from Remy leaving her. Maybe she really did like Logan that way. But she just wasn't really sure yet.

Logan could tell she was lying. "Look, Stripes. We haven't really spoken since.. that night," Logan said. He leaned forward and leaned his elbows on his knees. He clasped his hands together and looked at Rogue. She had no idea what to say, so Logan took this opportunity to say what he wanted to say. "I know you only did it because Remy broke up with you only days earlier and it was just out of loneliness or comfort," He explained. Rogue looked at him attentively. He was right. It was out of loneliness and comfort. But Rogue didn't say a word. She wanted to hear what he had to say. "And I should be ashamed with myself for.. doing that.. with a student, but now I'm not."

Logan watched for a response from Rogue, but she didn't say anything. He couldn't tell if she was mad, or happy with the look on her face.

"And I miss that we used to have danger room session together and have our own private jokes. But I just can't shake my feelings for ya. I.. I think I'm going to have to leave the institute," Logan explained.

Before Rogue could fully register and think about what Logan had said, she called out, "No!" and grabbed his arm. She was shocked with her own actions, but deep down, she didn't want Logan to leave. He was one of her best friends and she since Remy left, she didn't want to lose another friend. She removed her hand from Logan's arm and put it back in her own lap. "Ah don't want yah tah go. Ah miss all that too. But ah dunno what ah feel right now," Rogue explained. Her thoughts went back to how she missed Remy. She really didn't know if she really felt that way about Logan or if it was just purely out of loneliness. Then, she heard a voice in her head.

'Remy ain't comin' back.'

Rogue knew it was true. Maybe Logan could give her a happier life than Remy could. At least she knew that he felt strongly for her and so she could get that little insecurity out of the way.

Logan smiled and leaned in closer to Rogue. "So what are ya saying, Stripes?"

When Logan leaned in closer, Rogue could smell his cologne. It reminded her of that night in the truck. She was confused again as to whether she really liked Logan or if it's just because he's willing to be there for her. "Ahm saying that ah don't want yah tah go," Rogue replied.

"Why?"

"Cause, ah.." Rogue was afraid to answer, afraid of her own feelings. She felt like someone was screwing with her head because she didn't know what she was meant to be feeling. Should she been feeling disgusted or attracted to Logan?

Logan leaned forward and placed one hand on the back of the couch, and the other on the armrest next to Rogue. His knee leaned on the couch between her thighs, pinning her in the corner of the couch. Logan leaned in closer until his face was only inches from hers.

"Cause why?"

"Cause ah… ah.. ah duno! Ah think ah may have feelings for yah!" Rogue spat out before she could think about what she was going to say. She couldn't believe what she had said. It was true, but Remy had only left her two weeks ago. Was Logan just the rebound guy? Rogue had no idea. "We're both gonna get kicked out," she explained. She wanted Logan to kiss her, but at the same time, she didn't. She knew what they were doing was wrong and that there was no turning back now.

"We can keep it a secret," Logan proposed as he leaned forward to lick Rogue's ear.

"There are two psychics in this house, Logan. How secret can it be?"

"They already know, so it won't matter."

Rogue cupped Logan's unshaven face. God, she loved stubble on a man. That's probably why she found Remy to look so manly for a 23 year old. Rogue took a deep breath and looked into Logan's eyes. 'Maybe this is the best I'm ever going to get,' She thought to herself. 'Maybe Logan is the only one I'll ever find who'll love me for me.'

Rogue leaned forward and pressed her lips to Logan's.

_Catch me as I fall_

_Say you're here and it's all over now_

_Speaking to the atmosphere_

_No one's here and I fall into myself_

_This truth drives me into madness_

_I know I can stop the pain if I will it all away_

_If I will it all away_

_(Evanescence – Whisper)_

--------------------------------

Rogue woke to the sounds of birds chirping outside the window. She opened her eyes and realised that she was in Logan's room. The room was dark, save for the rays of light that crept their way around the edges of the dark curtaining. Rogue looked next to her and found that she'd been sleeping on Logan's arm. He was lying on his side, facing her with his other arm wrapped around Rogue's hip. Rogue quietly and slowly rolled out of Logan's embrace and placed her feet on the floor. She sat on the edge of the bed and leaned her elbows on her knees. She admitted that last night was good, but she was still confused. She felt guilty again, but at the same time she wasn't guilty. She felt that maybe she did like Logan, but at the same time she felt like she didn't.

Rogue remembered the first time her and Remy had sex. She'd gained control of her powers only a few months ago. She and Remy spent their first night together in Remy's room. All the Xmen were out at Duncan's twenty-first, as he'd invited half the school. Rogue and Remy decided to come home early to get a little privacy.

A few weeks after that, Remy became distant. Rogue couldn't figure out what she had done wrong. She figured that Remy would be happier now that she'd gained control over her powers, but instead, Remy visited her bed less and less. Three days before Rogue's twenty-first birthday, Remy up and left. Rogue asked for an explanation, but Remy didn't give one.

The next day, Scott told Rogue that Remy had confided in him weeks before. Scott told Rogue that Remy was losing interest because Rogue wasn't something he had to fight for anymore. She was now willing to go out with him, willing to touch him, but for Remy, he missed the flirty stage where anything can happen. And so he left. Scott was also mad at Remy for not giving Rogue a decent explanation before he left. Rogue wondered what would have happened if Remy never left the mansion after he broke up with her. Would she and Logan still have gotten together?

Logan slowly awoke as he realised the warm body beside him was gone. He saw Rogue sitting motionless on the side of the bed and he moved his hand up her bare back.

"Morning," Logan said in his husky morning voice. Rogue turned around and put on a fake smile, but seeing Logan's gorgeous morning face and his adoration for her made her smile for real.

'Maybe this is as good as it'll get for me.'

_I got you crawling up a mountain  
Hanging round my neck  
I got you twisted round my finger  
Crawling round my legs  
The emptiness  
The craziness  
Satisfy this hungriness   
Darling  
How would it feel?_

If we sleep together  
Will you like me better  
If we come together  
We'll go down forever   
If we sleep together  
Will I like you better  
If we come together  
Prove it now or never

_(Sleep together – Garbage)_

-------------------------------------------

Rogue played with her food. She'd eaten her chicken and was now mixing together her mashed potato with her peas and corn. To her right sat Kurt and that usually meant a barrel of laughs. Kurt and Bobby always made the students laugh all the time at the dinner table. Remy would usually be seated to her left, but now Jean was seated in Remy's chair. Seated directly across from Rogue was Logan. They'd decided to seat in their usual spots and act normal around each other so that the other students wouldn't think anything was going on between the two. Of course, Jean and the professor knew, but as far as the two psychics were concerned, Rogue and Logan only had that one time encounter in Logan's truck.

Rogue took a quick glimpse at Logan. He was chatting to Hank, but it was as if Logan could tell Rogue was looking at him. He turned his head, and looked back at Rogue. She gave Logan a small warm smile and returned to her food. She didn't want the other students finding out what she was doing with Logan. She knew that the professor would send her and Logan away if he found out they were sleeping together. It was exciting to be having a secret relationship, but at the same time she wished they didn't have to hide their relationship from everyone else, as if they were ashamed of their relationship. But at the same time, she felt like she should be ashamed of herself. She felt like she should be feeling guilty that she was sleeping with Logan. She still loved Remy, no doubt about it, but Logan was willing to be there for her.

Logan smirked when he saw Rogue look back down at her food. He was glad that Rogue didn't turn him down the other day when he told her he wanted more from her. He found her mere presence intoxicating. He never really allowed himself to think of her in that way before, but after her birthday, he couldn't believe he'd never seen it before. She'd grown into a beautiful woman. Her gothic make up was gone, but her eyes were stilled outlined with black eye liner and her make up was light. She'd grown her hair and it was now just past her shoulders. Her white streaks outlined her oval face and her green eyes stood out and shone as she looked at him.

Logan returned his vision back to Hank as he listened to what Hank was saying. After a moment, Logan felt something brush his inner thigh. He tried not to let Hank know as he quickly glanced down at the edge of the table. He couldn't quite see what was brushing his inner thigh and the only way he'd be able to was to tilt his chair back and lift the tablecloth and have a proper look.

Logan pretended to scratch his upper thigh, then slowly moved his hand under the table cloth and under the table to see what was moving it's way up his thigh and dangerously close to his crotch. Then Logan felt it. A bare foot. As his hand brushed over it, he saw Rogue rearrange in her seat just a tad. He realised then that it was Rogue's foot. Logan smiled to himself and figured he might as well let her have her fun, so returned to eating. He couldn't let anyone else know what was going on. He glanced up at Rogue for a moment, and she was looking down at her place, eating her mashed potatoes as if nothing was going on under the table. Logan wanted to lean back and enjoy the sensations he was getting as the foot made it's way up his thigh, between his legs and now rubbing his crotch.

He wanted to moan out loud as the rubbing was turning him on. He tried his hardest to act like he was eating his meal normally, but his body was begging him to relax and enjoy the ride. He tried his hardest to hide the emotions of ecstasy and sexual pleasure from his face as he could feel himself getting a hard on. His jeans suddenly felt tight and it was going to take some serious will power to stop himself from cumming right there and then.

He glanced back up at Rogue and he saw her raise one of her eyebrows as she felt Logan becoming rock hard.

'Oh God,' Logan thought to himself. 'This needs to stop or else I'm not going to be able to keep quiet any longer.'

Logan pretended to scratch his leg again and then slowly moved his hand back under the table. He caught Rogue's foot and Rogue let out a cough as he did so. Everyone else seemed oblivious to what was going on and he was thankful for that. Logan slowly pushed Rogue's foot away. Rogue took the hint and stopped.

'That girl is going to get it later,' Logan thought to himself. For the rest of the meal, he tried to think of all the naughty things he could do to tease Rogue next time they got it on.

Rogue smiled to herself as she realised the effect she'd had on Logan. Being able to touch someone without killing them had given her a bout of confidence. But at the same time, she wished she and Remy had done stuff like that.

'Remy ain't commin' back,' she thought to herself. 'Logan's here now. Logan loves me. Logan won't leave me like Remy did.' Rogue convinced herself that she'd be happier with Logan.

_Long time I been waiting to get next to you  
Long time I been anticipating the things that I wanna do.  
Long time I been faking just for one kiss_

_Long time I been dreaming about feeling your tenderness._

_Some time I wanna grab you and just get some_

_Some times I feel the urge just to let you know_

_The feelings I have _

_If you know I _

_I gotta crazy crush on you but can't seem to let it show_

_(Ms. Dynamite – Krazy Krush)_

----------------------------------------

_--Two weeks ago--_

Rogue sat in the kitchen and stared at her coffee. Her elbow rested on the table and she rested her head on her hand. Her other hand held the coffee cup. She stared into space. She was worried that Remy was hiding something from her. Ever since they'd slept together, slowly slowly, Remy had begun distancing himself from Rogue. The changes weren't sudden, but Rogue noticed them none the less. Remy would stand apart from Rogue when they stood in a group and he'd try and get out of their romantic situations. Rogue had no idea what she was doing wrong. When she she'd ask him what was wrong, he'd reply saying "Not'in." She'd been seriously worrying about him and why he was acting that way for the two weeks.

Rogue was in such a daze that she didn't notice Kitty walking into the kitchen. "Hey Rogue. Rogue?.. RO-ooogue!" Kitty waved a hand in front of Rogue's face.

Rogue, being snapped out of her daze, looked up at Kitty. "Oh, hey.." She greeted unenthusiastically then went back to staring at her mug.

Kitty sat down opposite Rogue at the table. "Still worrying about Remy?" Rogue nodded. "Have you like, asked him about it?"

Rogue nodded. "Every time ah ask him what's wrong, he says it's nothin'!" Rogue explained. She'd explained it to Kitty and Jean heaps of times, and of course, they told Kurt and Scott. Secrets were a rare thing in the X-mansion. "Ah dunno what ah've done wrong!"

Kitty changed seats so that she was sitting next to Rogue. She put a hand on Rogue's shoulder in an attempt to comfort her. She knew it wouldn't comfort her, so she tried to help how she could. When Rogue first confided in Kitty and Jean, Kitty had gone straight to Kurt and Scott and asked them to find out why Remy was acting so weird.

Just then Kurt ported in. "Rogue! You have to come now!" Kurt ran up to Rogue and Kitty and grabbed their hands.

"What? Why?" Rogue asked.

"Remy's leaving!" Kurt explained. Rogue's gut dropped like a kick in the stomach. Kurt could see the look on her face. He wanted to protect Rogue and since Kitty told him about Rogue's situation, he and Scott had trying to suss Remy out. Scott mentioned to him that Remy confided in him but didn't tell Kurt what Remy had said. Kurt figured Remy should be the one to tell Rogue himself what his problem was anyway. "Remy's packing his stuff! Scott's trying to stall him. Come on!" And with that, Kurt ported Rogue and Kitty to Remy's room.

When they got there, they found that the room was empty. Before Rogue could say anything, Kurt ported them again, this time to the garage. When they got there, they saw Scott arguing with Remy. "I can't believe you're not going to tell her!" Scott yelled. Remy tried to ignore Scott as he tied his backpack to the back of his motorbike.

"Tell me what?" Rogue asked angrily. She crossed her arms and both guys looked at her. "That yah leavin'?" she tried to sound angry but she couldn't contain her sadness. Her worst fear was coming true. Remy was leaving.

Remy looked at Rogue with a sad face. She had no idea why he was doing this and she was angry that whatever his problem was, he didn't trust her enough to tell her.

"Ve'll leave you two alone," Kurt explained as he put his hand on Scott and Kitty's shoulders. The sound of Kitty protesting to missing the show could be heard just as they ported out of the garage.

"Why are yah leavin', Remy?" Rogue asked. Tears were welling in her eyes. Remy stayed quiet and returned to trying up his backpack. "What did ah do wrong!" Remy tried to ignore her. "Just TELL me, Remy!" Rogue yelled. Now she was crying. She walked up to Remy and spun him around so he could face her. "Whatever it is, we can fix this together!"

Rogue looked into Remy's demon eyes. His eyes always told her how he felt. He looked sad and troubled, but she didn't understand why he wouldn't tell her what was wrong.

"Remy leavin' because he have to," Remy explained. He put his hands on Rogue's shoulders and slowly pushed her away from him. With her out of the way, he got on his motorbike.

"Why do yah have tah?" Rogue cried. "Don't yah love me anymore, Remy?"

Rogue didn't try stop him. She wanted to rip him off the bike, but she was so consumed with confusion and the feeling of rejection that she didn't move. Remy didn't respond to her question. Rogue watched him put his helmet on and started the bike.

"Remy, don't do this!" Rogue cried once more. Her cried fell on deaf ears as the rumbling of Remy's motorbike filled the garage. Before Rogue knew it, Remy had driven out of the garage and out of the grounds of the mansion.

Rogue dropped to her knees and cried. Within seconds of Remy leaving the mansion, Kitty, Jean, Kurt and Scott were in the garage to comfort Rogue.

------------------------------------

**Author's notes:** okay, now the REASON why Remy left is revealed in later chapters. For now, all u need to know 4 now is that he left and Rogue's broken down over it.


	4. ch4: Don't Tell Remy

**Author's notes:** hey all, the new chapter is here! Im not happy with this chapter for some reason, probably because I'm not good with fight scenes, but no matter what I do to it, it doesn't seem to look any better. So I apologise in advance for the shotty chapter. But don't forget to review! also it's exam time for me so the next chapter might not be up for a couple of weeks!

**Ch4: don't tell Remy**

Rogue walked around her room, collecting all the books she'd need for her first day back at College. Her summer holidays had finished and she wished she didn't have to go back. Her college was one town over, but she decided not to live on campus. Scott and Kurt also went to the same college. She preferred to drive there, and because Scott and Kurt felt the same way, she had someone to drive to college with. For their first day back, Scott, Kurt and Rogue had decided to drive up together.

"Knock Knock!"

Rogue turned to face the doorway to see Logan standing there. Rogue smiled. It had been another two weeks since she and Logan had decided to secretly see each other. So far it was working, and to everyone else, it looked like Rogue and Logan had sorted out their differences since the 'argument'.

"Just came to wish you luck," Logan smiled. He took a step forward into the room. He and Rogue made a strict rule that they wouldn't do anything unless it was under cover of darkness. During the day, anyone could walk in on them. "Have you got everything?"

Rogue checked her bag again. "Yep, think so."

"Come on Rogue! We're gonna be late!" Scott called from the hallway. Rogue rolled her eyes.

"Looks like ah gotta go!" She quickly gave Logan a peck on the cheek and left the room.

'Maybe this is as good as it's gonna get for me. Ah should be happy, but why do ah feel like ah'm putting on an act when ah'm with Logan?'

----------------------------------------------

It was the end of the day and Scott was driving Kurt and Rogue home from college. It was a good two-hour drive back so they tried to keep themselves occupied with a game of eye-spy.

"Eye-spy vith my little eye, somezing beginning vith 'V'!" Kurt began.

"What the hell begins with a V?" Scott commented. He and Rogue looked around for anything that began with a V.

"Very nice car?" Rogue guessed.

"Nope!" Kurt smiled.

Scott smiled and rubbed the side of his car. He loved his little red convertible "Oh, why thank you, Rogue!" he smiled.

Rogue laughed. "It's tha only thing ah can think of that starts with V!"

"Well I give up!" Scott grunted.

"Rogue, do you give up?" Kurt asked. Rogue nodded. "It's a vindow!" Kurt laughed.

"Window starts with a 'W', you knob!" Rogue playfully punched Kurt in the arm.

"Okay, mein turn again!" Kurt said gleefully as he looked around for something to use. "Ah!" he squealed as he looked behind them.

"Does it start with an A?" Scott asked, unable to tell what Kurt's little outburst was for.

"Nein! Look! Behind us!"

Scott looked in his rear view mirror while Rogue turned around. Sure enough there were three metal orbs heading their way.

"Acolytes!" Rogue yelled. "Scott! Floor it!"

Just as Rogue had instructed, Scott pressed down on the accelerator, but no matter how fast he went down the deserted highway, the orbs were right behind him. "Shit!" Scott yelled out. "I can't lose them!"

"Then we're gonna have tah fight them off!" Rogue yelled.

Scott nodded and pressed the brakes. The car slowed down and when it came to a stop, the three orbs landed on the road a few metres away from them. Rogue, Scott and Kurt got out of the car. Rogue leaned closer to Kurt. "Hey. Remember what we learned in tactics class with Logan?" Rogue whispered. She then whispered what she wanted Kurt to do when the orbs opened. Kurt smiled and nodded when he heard what Rogue wanted him to do. Scott stood ready with his hand on his visor. He was ready to shoot anyone who came out of the orbs.

The three Xmen stood ready as the orbs slowly opened. Then they saw who their attackers were. Colossus, Pyro and Gambit. Remy got out of the metal orb and looked right at Rogue, as if no one else was there but the two of them. His expression was neutral, with no feelings so that Rogue couldn't tell what he felt about seeing her again. She wanted him to feel pain for leaving her, feel a longing to touch her again- something!

"Remy," Rogue whispered to herself. She hadn't seen him for close to a month now, and she felt hurt when he looked at her as if he never loved her. But Remy continued to stare at her. It was making Rogue feel uncomfortable, because if Remy didn't love her, then why was he staring.

"Well, G'day there, losers!" Pyro greeted, casually waving to the Xmen.

"What do you want?" Scott yelled.

Pyro smirked. "Just a lil' practice session with you guys, mate," He replied. "Nothing personal."

Rogue watched in the corner of her eye as Kurt moved so that he was standing right behind her. Colossus pointed. "Oh look. The little one is scared." The large Russian man still hadn't brought up his body armour, and Rogue figured it was because he felt that he didn't need to yet.

Rogue knew what was going to happen next. They were all going to fight, and she wanted to make the first move. She smirked, she quickly whispered, "Colossus," to Kurt and Kurt nodded. She felt Kurt put his hands around her waist, and the acolytes laughed.

"He's so scared! The poor bugger's gotta have a hug from the girl!" Pyro laughed with Colossus. Remy remained silent. He was still staring at Rogue and it made Rogue feel uncomfortable, as if he could see right through her. She doubted he could tell she was sleeping with Logan. Suddenly she felt guilty, as if she'd betrayed Remy. She couldn't look him in the eye. She missed him and still prayed that Remy would come back to her. Rogue, remembering the impending attack, turned her attentions back to Pyro and Colossus. The big brute was so cocky that he hadn't even changed to his metal form yet. And Rogue hoped he didn't realise to change yet. They were distracted while they teased Kurt.

Rogue smiled at Pyro and Colossus and replied, "Not really." It was then she saw it on Remy's face. He knew what was going to happen next. He was also part of that tactics class with them before he left. Rogue called out, "Now!" and Kurt ported them away.

Just as Remy had yelled out "Watch out!" to Colossus, Kurt had already ported Rogue right behind the large Russian. Rogue grabbed the large Russian's arm and began to absorb him.

Pyro brought up large flames and began aiming the flames to get Rogue, but then he saw Kurt's tail wrap around his wrist. "What the?" Pyro exclaimed, but then he was ported away by Kurt. Kurt ported Pyro away from Rogue to allow her time to absorb Colossus enough to knock him unconscious. Kurt ported Pyro a few metres away, closer to Scott so that the boys could handle Pyro together.

Remy stayed in the same spot. He watched as Colossus dropped to the ground. That guy was going to be sore in the morning. Remy waited for Rogue to take him on next. He remembered Logan teaching them in tactics class. Kurt was to help get Rogue to the strongest mutant there, preferably Colossus, Magneto or Blob, so that she could absorb them and have a way of defending herself. Remy couldn't believe he hadn't thought of it before. If he did, he would have told Colossus to bring up his body armour. But then again, he wouldn't have the chance to take on Rogue one on one.

When they sparred back at the mansion, Rogue only won if they weren't allowed to use their powers or weapons. She was more skilled than him at hand-to-hand combat, but as soon as Remy was allowed to use his deck of cards or his adamantium staff, he always had the unfair advantage. This time Rogue had an unfair advantage. She had Colossus' powers and she was now walking towards him with Colossus' armour covering her entire body.

Rogue walked over to Remy. She wanted so badly to hold him and tell him how much she loved him. But she knew that wasn't going to happen. He was now part of the acolytes and he was here for one reason; to beat the crap out of her, Scott and Kurt. She looked at him with sad eyes, and searched his demon eyes for.. something; Some recognition that he still loved her. Seeing Remy standing there, Rogue felt extremely guilty for what she'd been doing with Logan. Her thoughts were torn between Logan and Remy. She never wanted Remy to know what she was doing with Logan. She felt ashamed for sleeping with Logan, but she also felt that Logan was willing to be there for her and that maybe with Logan, her life was as good as it was going to be. Rogue walked up to Remy until she was only a foot or so away from him. She knew that with the body armour, Remy had no way of stopping her, and Remy knew that too. But by the hurt look in Rogue's eyes, he wasn't sure if she wanted to pummel his head in or hug him. Remy took another step back.

Rogue saw him move back. "Remy," Rogue said softly. She wanted to cry. 'He doesn't want anything to do with me!' she thought to herself.

Remy watched as Rogue stood motionless, staring into his eyes. There was no way for him to beat her, and he couldn't bear to see her look so hurt. There was no denying that he still felt something for her, but he couldn't let his feelings get in the way anymore. He was an acolyte now. "If ya gonna do it, then do it already!" Remy yelled.

Rogue blinked back her tears and realised what had to be done. She had to finish the fight. The orbs that carried the acolytes don't fly by themselves, which mean that Magneto was close by. No doubt he was watching the fight. Rogue took a deep breath and nodded. She grabbed hold of Remy's arm and concentrated on absorbing him. But she couldn't stop thinking about her escapades with Logan and her guilt. Even though it was Remy who left her, she still felt like she was still betraying Remy. Her feelings for Remy and her guilt for sleeping with Logan consumed her. She was touching Remy for the first time in a month and she never wanted to let go. She never wanted him to leave her again. Rogue, with all her feelings eating away at her, she couldn't concentrate enough to absorb Remy.

Something was wrong. She wasn't absorbing him, but something _was _happening. Then Rogue realised what she'd done.

Her eyes widened and looked right into Remy's demon eyes. "Oh no!" she whispered. She looked up at Remy and realised that her powers she'd taken from Colossus were leaving her. She looked back down at Remy's arm and the skin on Remy's arm where Rogue was holding him was turning to metal. She was accidentally passing her powers and memories on to Remy, rather than absorbing him. And she had no idea how she was doing it. She figured that it might be the next stage in her powers.

Remy's eyes were wide with shock. He realised what was happening and ripped Rogue's hand off his arm. He watched as his whole body covered itself in metal. Now he knew what it was like for Rogue when she absorbed someone. He had to gain control of his new powers and he had to sort through the new memories he'd received from her. Rouge fell to the ground and watched as Remy tried concentrating on bringing himself back to normal. After a few seconds, he managed to turn his skin back to normal, but he stopped moving, as if he were thinking about something.

Then it hit like a kick to the stomach. Remy looked at Rogue with anger in his eyes. Rogue knew then that she'd accidentally given Remy her memories. Her memories of being with Logan. "Oh shit!"

Remy reached into his back pocket and pulled out his deck of cards. Rogue started to shuffle backwards as she watched the deck glow a deep red colour as Remy charged the deck. "Remy," She sobbed. "I'm sorry!"

Remy didn't look at her. He stared at the ground as Rogue moved away. He was hurt. He hated what he saw Rogue do with Logan. "Get away," He growled softly. Rogue didn't move. He knew that once he had broken up with Rogue, she was allowed to do whatever (or whoever) she wanted to, but Remy felt betrayed. He never told Rogue that he still liked her, but _he_ made the choice to leave. He figured that maybe he had brought it on himself, but he felt disgusted that she was sleeping with Logan. He now had fragments of Rogue's memories. She felt alone, rejected by Remy and now she was in the arms of another man- their teacher of all people! Remy was angry, real angry. So angry that he wanted to throw the entire charged deck at Rogue. But his conscience told him that deep down he didn't want Rogue to die. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if he killed her. "Get away from me before I start throwing the cards at ya'!" He yelled. Rogue had never heard such fury come from Remy. She scrambled to her feet and ran to the car.

Scott had just blasted Pyro with his optic beam and turned to hear Remy yelling at Rogue, but he had no idea why Remy was so mad. Rogue was now running towards the car and so Scott and Kurt followed suit.

"Gambit!" Came a booming voice. It was Magneto. "Finish her!"

Rogue jumped in the back seat and waited for Scott and Kurt to get in the car. As soon as Scott jumped into the driver's seat, Rogue tapped him on the shoulder. "Get us the hell outah here!"

Scott wasted no time in flooring it and getting them away from Remy and Magneto.

Rogue looked back at the vision of Remy's figure getting smaller with the distance as they drove away. He was still looking at her, but as they drove away, she couldn't make out the anger on his face anymore. She was glad she couldn't see it anymore. She couldn't bare to see Remy so angry with her.

Scott looked in the rear view mirror and could see Rogue sitting in the back. Scott realised that she was at the point of tears as she turned back to face the front. "What was that all about?" Scott asked. "I thought it would've been you who would have done all the yelling," He explained. Scott knew that Remy's departure from the mansion left Rogue feeling dead inside for weeks, but he didn't expect that Remy would be the one to do all the yelling when they finally saw each other again.

Rogue looked off to the side. "It's personal," Rogue replied. "But ah realised that ma powers don't just absorb anymore," She explained, trying to change the subject.

"Vat do you mean?" Kurt asked.

"It looks like ah can also pass on powers, instead of just absorbing them."

"So zat's vy I saw Remy turn to metal!" Kurt exclaimed. "Zat vas way cool!"

Scott, always the leader, replied, "It was cool, but you better tell the professor when you get back."

"Vell, _I_ thought it was cool!" Kurt exclaimed. "And zat move where I ported you behind Colossus vas so cool! He had no idea it vas coming!"

"Yeah, but I don't know how many times that's going to work now. They're gonna know that you're gonna port Rogue if you're standing right next to her," Scott explained. "We'll have to go through some new tactics with Logan."

Rogue sat silently in the back as Kurt and Scott talked about battle tactics. She was in her own little world. She felt guilty about sleeping with Logan in secret. She felt like she was constantly lying to her friends by hiding it, and she now felt like she had to lie again whenever they asked why Remy got mad. She hated her life. It was all so complicated. Seeing Remy, she just wished that he'd never left and that they could go back to being happy together. But she knew that that would never happen again.

'Ah can't keep doing this!' She thought to herself. 'Ah feel like all ahm doing is acting! Ah feel like being with Logan is my only chance at finding someone who'll love me, but then why aren't ah happy? Why do ah feel like ah want out?'

When this began 

_I had nothing to say_

_And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me_

_I was confused_

_And I let it all out to find_

_That I'm not the only person with these things in mind_

_Inside of me_

_But all the vacancies the words revealed_

_Is the only real thing I got left to feel_

_Nothing to lose_

_Just stuck, hollow and alone_

_And the fault is my own_

_The fault is my own_

(Somewhere I belong – Linkin Park)

------------------------------

_--Three years ago--_

The X-students were all gathered in the living room. Xavier had asked them all to gather there. All he'd told them that there was a new mutant joining them at the mansion, and he felt that he needed to talk to all the students about it.

"Who do you think this like, new person is?" Kitty asked. Kitty sat on the couch with Scott and Jean. Rogue sat on one of the arms of the couch, while Kurt perched himself of the other.

"Ah dunno," Rogue replied. "But for the professor to be gathering us like this, it's either someone special, or someone we're not gonnah like staying here."

"Like, I hope he's cute!" Kitty smiled to herself and imagined herself with a new boyfriend.

Kurt looked at her, jealous that Kitty was fantasising about anyone but him. "How do you know it's a guy? Maybe it's a girl!"

Rogue crossed her arms. "Well, ah don't care who it is, as long as they leave me alone!" She grumbled to herself.

They waited for a few more minutes before the professor walked in with Logan.

Scott stood up as soon as the professor entered the room. "Professor, what's going on?" Scott asked.

Xavier stopped his wheelchair and Logan stood next to him and crossed his arms. Xavier lifted his hand up in a stop motion. "Scott, please sit. I will explain," He replied. Scott sat down back on the couch.

"Now, I have asked all of you to meet me here because the young man that wishes to join us here as an X-man is someone you all know. The reason for this meeting is so that I can have the opportunity to hear any protests you all have now."

"Like, who _is_ the new guy?" Kitty asked.

Xavier looked up at Logan and nodded at him. Logan then uncrossed his arms and turned around. He walked to the door and opened it. "Come on," He said to the new student, ushering the young man into the room.

Gasps could be heard throughout the room as Remy LeBeau walked into the room. Scott shot up off his seat. "_He_ is staying here!" Scott protested.

Xavier nodded. "This is why I wanted you all to settle any disputes you might have, here and now so that there are no problems while young Mr. LeBeau stays here," Xavier explained.

Rogue looked at the Cajun. Every time they'd met, they were trying to kill (or just hurt) each other. When they first me, Remy almost blew Rogue's hand off with a charged card. Then there was also that time she was hypnotised by Mesmero and kissed Remy. Rogue blushed when she thought about how she'd kissed Remy. She was thankful that no one would really be able to see her blushing under her heavy gothic make up. She never told a soul about kissing Remy though. She didn't know what they'd think of her secretly liking this acolyte. Rogue, in her daze, didn't realise that Remy was staring right back at her.

'Oh Gawd! Ah hope he can't read minds!'

Rogue stopped looking at the Cajun and turned her attentions back to the professor, who was explaining that Remy had changed sides and that if anyone had anymore protests about it, to see the professor personally.

"Rogue," The professor called. Rogue realised that the professor was talking to her and she quickly stood up off the end of the couch. "Would you show Remy to his room?"

Rogue's eyes widened. "Me!" She exclaimed. "Why can't Scott.." Rogue turned to Scott and could practically see red glowing around the edges of his sunglasses. "Okay.. Ah'll do it," she groaned.

"I'll how him, professor!" Kitty squealed as she jumped to her feet.

Xavier shook his head. "That's quite alright, Kitty. I'm sure Rogue will be fine."

Rogue looked at Remy and he was smirking at her. She walked towards the door, giving tyring to ignore his smirk as she passed him. "Follow me, swamp rat," She groaned again.

After Rogue and Remy exited the room, Logan looked at the professor and rolled his eyes. Logan then heard the professor's voice in his head. "Rogue's the one with the closest thing to a friendship with Remy. They'll be fine."

Outside in the hallway, Rogue could feel Remy's eyes burning on the back of her head. He was walking a good metre behind her and it was irritating her. "Would ya walk next to me at least!" She ordered. "Ah can't stand the idea of ya looking at me like that!"

Remy did as Rogue instructed and walked next to her. "How could ya possibly know how Remy be lookin' at ya, chere?"

Rogue rolled her eyes. She looked at him and saw that smirk on his face again. "'Cause ya haven't stopped lookin' at me like that since ya got here!"

"Remy can't help it, chere," Remy took Rogue's gloved hand, but Rogue, still being unable to touch, stopped walking and pulled her hand back forcefully.

"Don't ever touch me, swamp rat. Understand? Don't ever touch me!" Rogue yelled angrily. She hated herself for lashing out like that but she felt it was needed to stop everyone from touching her. She wanted them to fear her because she could kill them if she touched anyone for too long.

Remy looked at her with sad eyes. "Remy not afraid of yo' powers, chere," He said softly.

Rogue glared at him and continued walking towards Remy's new room in the boys wing. "Yeah, well ah am," She growled to herself. She wasn't sure if Remy heard it or not because she'd said it so softly. Deep down she wished he'd heard it. She hated being touched. She was constantly afraid that maybe she'd absorb someone through her clothes. But deep down, she longed for touch. When someone would touch her covered arm, she'd pull back and act out, but deep down, she longed for someone to touch her and hold her just that little bit longer.

Remy watched as Rogue stomped her way down the hallway. "Wait, chere!" He smiled as he ran after her. "Remy didn't mean t' offend you!"

Rogue looked at Remy, who had now caught up with her. "Well, just don't do it again, okay?" Rogue said with a little less harshness she'd just unleashed onto Remy.

"Remy promise," He replied. "But if ya change ya mind, and wanna give Remy a kiss.."

Remy's proposal was cut short when Rogue playfully hit him in the arm again.

----------------------------------------

_When I think of you girl I get that feeling  
I need a hit of you baby  
Girl head is spinning  
And you got me feenin' for your love  
Girl you got me going crazy  
_

_You don't have to worry_

_Girl you know I'm down_

_I'm addicted to you baby_

_All day I'm thinking of you  
All day I wonder where you go  
And what you do  
I'm a fiend for you  
All day I wonder where you are  
Girl you know you got my heart  
I can't stop  
Baby I'm a fiend for you  
All day, all day, all day, all day, all day_

(Guy Sebastian – Fiend for you)


	5. ch5: Hollow Inside

**Author's notes:**I keep getting asked if this is a Romy or Rogan fic.. well I COULD tell ya'll but I'm not! MWHAHAH! Oh I'm not THAT cruel! You guys will get ur answers in the next few chapters. Also yeh I made Remy find out quickly cz I didn't want this story to lag. It's long enuff as it is and I'm trying to stay to the point and not have pointless chapters..  
I hope you guys are liking this! I got about 10 reviews overnight after I posted the last chapter! You should have seen how big my smile was! Im glad you guys are liking this so far. Also a tiny warning, the self harming bits are coming up. It's not as dark as some other fics get, but im trying! Well, here it is! Don't forget to review!

------------------------------

Ch5: hollow inside 

As soon as they arrived back at the mansion, Rogue, Scott and Kurt went straight to the professor. Scott explained what happened from his point of view and that Rogue mentioned that she may have new powers. Rogue explained how she thinks she can now reverse her powers and pass on her life force as well as absorb it. However, she didn't explain to the professor why Remy had yelled at her, but explained that it was personal between Remy and herself. The Professor thanked the students for getting straight to him about it and dismissed them.

"Ah, Rogue. Can I talk to you for a minute alone?" The professor quickly said as Rogue reached the door.

Rogue nodded and shut the door after Scott and Kurt had left. "What is it, Professor?" She asked as she walked over to his desk.

"I sense that you may need to talk to someone," He replied. Rogue knew that he knew she had slept with Logan but she wasn't sure if he knew she was _still_ sleeping with him.

"What do you mean?" She asked innocently.

Xavier nodded. "I'm not going to probe your mind, Rogue. But I do sense that you're having trouble with issues in your life, and I just want to let you know that I will be here if you need, okay?"

Rogue nodded. "Thanks, Professor. But I'm okay." Then Rogue turned and left Xavier's study.

-----------------------------

A week had gone by after the acolytes attacked. Rogue had done everything she could to get away from sleeping with Logan. She blamed it on there not being enough privacy, girl business, etc. However, she did still hang out with him. After seeing the look on Remy's face when he found out about herself and Logan, Rogue felt bad and felt that somehow she might be able to show Remy how much she still loved him by not sleeping with Logan. Even if Remy wasn't there, she still felt like she needed to stay loyal to Remy. He may have left her with no reason, but she loved him. Remy was the only one she ever really trusted, and she never let anyone get close to her emotionally like she did with Remy. Seeing Remy made her want to see him more. She wanted answers on why Remy left, but at the same time, Logan was willing to be there for her. There was a void in her soul created by Remy's departure from her life

She was in the Danger Room with Logan. He was sparring with her in hand-to-hand combat. She was already magnificent at it, but Xavier preferred that just because a student had mastered their abilities, there's no reason why they should stop training.

"Keep your left elbow down," Logan instructed. He took a swing at Rogue's stomach, but Rogue jumped back. She back flipped and nearly kicked Logan in the chin, but Logan managed to move away in time. "You're getting good there, Stripes!" He laughed. "You're gonna be giving me a run for my money soon!"

Rogue stood back up in her fighting stance. "Soon?" She laughed. "I thought that maybe I'd be a good match for you _now_?"

Logan smiled. "But I will always have the advantage," He replied. He unsheathed the blades from his right hand. "Unless you can grow a set of these yourself."

"You never know," Rogue joked. "Now come on. Enough talking!" She said, taking a swing at Logan's face. Logan jumped back, but Rogue followed. He let his claws retract back into his arm before he pushed her fist away from his face.

"Keep them short and quick," Logan instructed as Rogue took another swing in Logan's direction. The third time Rogue pushed her left fist towards Logan's face, he caught her fist. In one swift move, he swung Rogue around and hugged her from behind. Her arms were crossed at her chest and were pinned down by Logan's powerful hold on her.

"Hey!" She squealed. "No fair!" Rogue smiled, but inside she felt like the last thing she wanted to do was smile. She was surprised Logan couldn't sense it with his animal senses. She was confused. She felt unhappy on the inside, but she still found herself smiling on the outside. She didn't want to let anyone know there was anything wrong. She felt like maybe Logan would be the only one she would ever find that loved her as much as Remy did. She felt that she'd dug her hole, so to speak, and would now have to lie in it. She wanted out of the relationship, but at the same time, she'd convinced herself that this is what happiness was; a relationship with someone who loves you, looks after you and has fun with you. The only thing missing was Rogue's feelings matching Logan's.

She felt numb inside. And she couldn't believe Logan hadn't sensed it. He could sense everything else from fear to excitement. But she wondered why he couldn't sense that she was unhappy. 'Maybe ahm hiding it too well?' She thought to herself. 'Or maybe Logan's ignorance is why he hasn't sensed it yet. Maybe he just wants tah feel like we're in ah happy relationship too?'

Rogue could feel Logan's warm breath on the back of her neck. "I win," he said gleefully. His voice was gruff, but there was no mistaking the playfulness in his tone.

"It was an unfair fight!" Rogue squealed. She tried to get free from his grip, but Logan's arms wouldn't budge. Her arms were crossed at her chest and she had no way to get them free unless Logan let her go.

"It was a fair fight," Logan commented. "Only I won by getting the upper hand at the last minute," He said playfully. Logan smelt the back of Rogue's neck. He loved her scent. He found it intoxicating. He kissed the back of her neck. "So what do ya wanna do now?" He asked, hoping that Rogue was thinking what he was thinking, and _that_ was a little after workout workout.

Rogue was stumped. She knew exactly what Logan was asking her for, but she didn't know what to say. She'd tried to avoid sleeping with him, and she could tell he was getting a little sexually frustrated, as they hadn't slept together in a week. She felt bad, but she didn't want to give in to what Logan wanted.. again. She was already confused with what was going on in her life, but she didn't know why she wasn't telling Logan. She wanted to ask him for some space, but then she kept thinking that it was to late now.

'Ah should never have slept with Logan that night,' She thought to herself.

Rogue opened her mouth, ready to reply that she was too tired, when suddenly the Danger Room doors opened.

Rogue and Logan, who still had Rogue pinned, looked towards the door. There stood Scott and Remy. Rogue stared at Remy in shock. After a second or two, Logan had let her go. Rogue's knees felt weak. She didn't understand why Remy was back, but she felt extremely guilty that he had to see her and Logan together. It was the first time she'd seen Remy since he yelled at her and he returned to see her in Logan's arms, quite literally.

"Remy..?" Rogue mumbled. She was shocked. Remy was wearing his sunglasses and it pissed her off because his eyes always told her what he was feeling at the time. Now she had no idea what emotions were running through him. But she guessed he'd probably be feeling jealousy or hurt, or both. "Are.. are yah back?"

Remy didn't respond. He just stood there in the doorway. Scott realised that Remy wasn't responding and figured it had something to do with their argument on the day the acolytes attacked. Scott looked from Remy to Rogue, then back to Remy again. There was tension there. He could feel it. Scott tried to ease the tension by responding for Remy. "Yeah," Scott replied. "Remy's back. Hopefully for good," He playfully put his hand on Remy's shoulder. But Remy didn't respond to Scott's playfulness. Scott cleared his throat in an attempt to get some dignity back. "Well, I've got to go.. er… yeah.." He mumbled before backing away. He figured that he didn't want to be there if there was going to be an argument, and so he left.

Logan stared at the Cajun standing by himself in the doorway. He had no idea that Remy knew about him sleeping with Rogue. He heard about Rogue and Remy having an argument a week ago, but Rogue wouldn't tell Logan what the fight was about. Whenever he'd ask her, she'd just reply saying 'It's personal'. He knew there was something going on behind the lines with Remy and Rogue, but if Rogue wasn't ready to tell him, then Logan wasn't going to ask. He watched as Rogue looked on in shock about Remy's sudden return. Remy still stood motionless, staring at Rogue. He felt like if anyone was going to do any talking, he'd have to be the first one to do it. "So, what made you come back?" Logan asked.

Remy looked at Logan. If he wasn't wearing his sunglasses, Logan would have seen the glare that Remy had aimed at him. Remy felt disgusted and angry. He'd returned home and the first thing he sees is his ex girlfriend in the arms of their instructor! He wanted to yell at Logan, if not bash the crap out of him, for touching Rogue. There was no denying that Remy still felt protective over Rogue. When Remy broke up with Rogue, he told the professor that he was only going back to the acolytes because he couldn't be near Rogue anymore, and that back with the acolytes was the only place he could go; the only place that would still take him. But deep down, he missed his life at the mansion with his friends. "Remy realise he belongs here," Remy replied coldly.

Rogue took a step forward and stretched her arm out in Remy's direction. "Remy," She said needily. She didn't know what she expected Remy to do, but she wanted so deeply to just hold him. Remy stood motionless for a moment before turning and leaving the Danger room. Rogue brought her hand back to her chest and hugged herself in defeat.

Logan understood perfectly what was going on. Rogue still loved Remy, but Remy didn't want her back. Logan felt glad that Rogue was with him now, but at the same time, he was jealous. He felt that his jealousy ran beyond normal human jealousy. It was borderline animalistic. He believed that Rogue was his mate now; his property, and he didn't want Remy to wreak it for him now. Rogue was mad with Logan when they first slept together, but now he felt like she was really his. He loved her, admittedly a lot more than he should. But now with Remy's return, Logan could sense that things were about to change. What he needed to find out was if Remy knew about himself and Rogue. Logan put a hand on Rogue's shoulder. What Logan didn't expect was Rogue moving her shoulder away.

"Logan?"

"Yeah."

"Ah'd like tah be alone, please," Rogue said softly.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked, ignoring her previous statement.

Rogue shook her head, but she felt that she owed Logan some sort of explanation. "Remember that argument ah had with Remy a week ago?"

"Yeah."

"Well it's about that," Rogue explained. She wanted Logan to leave her alone for a while. No, she wanted him to leave her alone. Period! "Ah need tah sort it out with Remy before ah can tell anyone about it."

Logan nodded. "Okay. You know where to find me if you wanna talk," he replied. His voice wasn't angry, but Rogue could tell he was hurt, if not jealous.

She watched as Logan left the room before dropping to her knees. Her palms hit the ground hard and she stared at the floor. "What have I done?"

---------------------------------

Logan walked to his room. He was pissed off that Rogue wouldn't tell him what happened between her and Remy that day Remy yelled at her. Logan felt like Rogue should be able to tell him everything, because they were essentially a (secretive) couple. He didn't want anything to come between he and Rogue. Logan reached his room, but didn't bother turning on the light. He walked right over to his bed and lay down. He looked up at the roof and sighed. 'Why can't I stop thinking about her?' Logan thought to himself.

He remembered back to the night he took Rogue to the bar for her birthday. No, before that. Rogue was lying on her bed when he came into her room. He didn't really think of her in a sexual way when he saw her on the bed. She'd grown into a beautiful woman, no doubt. But he'd stop himself before he'd think about Rogue or the other girls in that way. But something about that changed once they got to the pub and had a little too much to drink. Something about him changed after that. When Rogue went for his keys and put her hand in his pocket, he realised, was the moment when he probably let all his inhibitions go out the window. Logan started thinking about the events that happened as they got into his truck. He groaned as he slid his hand down the front of his pants in an attempt to relieve himself of his frustrations.

----------------------------

Scott waited outside his bedroom. It was only about 9pm, but with Rogue in the danger room, the only place Remy would go to would be his own bedroom. Scott waited for about five minutes before Remy arrived. His own bedroom was across the hall to Remy's. As Remy walked down the hallway, he saw Scott standing there waiting for him.

Remy didn't say a word as he headed for his room.

"Remy, what the hell was that all about?" Scott asked angrily. Because Rogue didn't tell anyone what the argument was about, Scott believed that Remy, being the one to break up with Rogue, shouldn't have yelled at her.

Remy continued on his way to his room, not bothering to look at Scott. "It's personal," He replied lazily. Remy felt Scott's eyes burning on him as he opened the door to his room and walked in.

Scott didn't bother busting Remy's chops for an explanation. Instead he watched Remy enter his bedroom and close the door. Scott huffed and walked into his own bedroom and closed the door. "What the hell is going on around here?" Scott grumbled himself.

--------------------------

Rogue didn't know how long she sat on the floor for. She stared at the floor, thinking about how she got to where she was right now. She had convinced herself that she was better off with Logan, but deep down, she hated him. She hated Logan for not realising he shouldn't sleep with a student. She hated Remy for breaking up with her. She hated herself for sleeping with Logan to begin with. She hated herself more for allowing herself to continue to sleep with Logan.

"I can't do this," Rogue cried to herself. "I cant!" Rogue grabbed her head and leaned forward. "What the hell is wrong with me!" She yelled at herself.

Rogue felt like no matter what she did, she couldn't live with herself. She couldn't make the pain go away. She felt so hollow inside; As if she wasn't even human anymore. Rogue made herself get up on her feet. She was thinking about so much about her life, she didn't even remember walking to her room. She didn't bother turning on the light, but she could still see a little as the moonlight streamed into her room through the open curtains. She took off her clothes as she walked to her bathroom. When she reached the bathroom door, she wore only her bra and underwear. She turned on the light and turned on the shower. As she left the water to warm up, she walked over to the sink and looked in the mirror.

Rogue looked into the mirror, but she didn't see herself in the reflection anymore. She didn't recognise the girl looking back at her. Her mental image of herself had been twisted and morphed with her guilt and the feeling of being hollow. The mirror began to fog up as the water in the shower heated up the room. She lifted her hard to the mirror and wiped the due off. As she placed her hand back on the edge of the basin, she accidentally toppled over the cup that held her toothbrush and shaver. She looked at the shaver as it felt into the basin.

'God. I feel so… empty..'

She reached for the razor and looked at it closely.

'I just want the pain and guilt to go away.'

Rogue managed to pull the razor from the shaver and held the razor between her thumb and forefinger.

'I just want it all to.. stop.'

------------------------------------

Logan sat at the kitchen table. His toast lay in a plate on the table while he read the morning paper. It was after 9am, so all the junior students were already off at school. Only the senior students were still hanging around the mansion. So far, only Scott and Kurt had entered the kitchen for breakfast and they were sitting at the kitchen bench talking amongst themselves. Logan hoped that they'd leave before Rogue came in because he wanted to talk to her privately. The kitchen door swung open and Logan, along with Scott and Kurt, looked to see who had come in. Logan half expected it to be Rogue to come in, and he couldn't help but feel a little disappointed when he saw that it was actually Remy who had entered the kitchen. Logan still really didn't know if Remy knew about himself and Rogue, but he intended to find out.

"Morning," Kurt greeted cheerily.

Remy nodded and waved a hand in Kurt's direction. Remy, like Rogue, was not a morning person. He was a night owl. Remy shuffled his way to the fridge with his eyes barely open and his hair all messed up. He wore a pair of dark blue track pants and a baggy black T-shirt. Remy opened the fridge and reached for a beer.

It was as if Logan could sense it, or he just knew about Remy's bad habits too well, "Don't even think about it," Logan said in his authoritive tone. His eyes never left the newspaper, and it amazed Scott and Kurt how Logan knew when his beers were about to be taken.

Remy was tempted to groan in reply, but he didn't want to talk to Logan. He just rolled his eyes and put the beer back in its place.

Kurt's eyes lit up when Logan made the comment. "How do you do zat?" Kurt exclaimed. "Zat was so cool!"

Logan lowered his paper and gave Kurt an 'I'm-so-not-impressed' look.

Remy slot some bread in the toaster and leaned back on the bench while he waited for the toast to cook. He wished he'd remembered to bring his sunglasses with him when he left his bedroom. If he brought them he would have been able to stare at Logan without Logan knowing. Instead he stared at the floor and crossed his arms. He wanted to confront Logan about sleeping with Rogue, but it wasn't the place or time. Remy was pissed off that Logan had slept with Rogue. He wanted to tell Logan that he should know better than to sleep with a student, especially when she's drunk! He wanted to yell at Logan and tell him to keep his hands off Rogue. Remy knew that since he broke up with Rogue, she was able to do whatever she wanted, but Remy still felt protective over her. He loved her since he first laid eyes on her that day the acolytes fought with the Xmen at the construction site (even though he almost blew her hand off with one of his charged cards). He'd spent years flirting with her and when Rogue gained control over her powers, their relationship went to the next level. But one morning Remy woke up and realised that things were getting more serious with a girl than he usually allows. And it scared him.

Remy felt mad at himself for making Rogue believe he didn't love her anymore. It was quite the opposite. He was mad, more at himself than he was at Rogue. And now that Rogue seemed happy with Logan, Remy couldn't help but feel jealous. But he also saw the needy look in Rogue's eyes when he returned. He also felt the hurt that Rogue felt when she slept with Logan. The memories she passed onto him were painful for him to remember and he had a small idea of how she felt. She was so ashamed of what she'd done and Remy blamed himself for breaking up with her to begin with. If he hadn't then she wouldn't have slept with Logan.

The toast popped out of the toaster and Remy started buttering his toast. He vowed to make everything right again. He was going to get Rogue back and tell Logan to stay away from his girl.

After he finished buttering his toast, he picked up his plate and headed out of the kitchen. As he headed out the door, he got an idea and smiled to himself. 'Have to start somewhere,' Remy thought to himself as he headed towards the girl's dorms.

------------------------------------

Rogue felt like shit. She lay on her bed and stared out the window. She forgot to close the blinds the night before, so the morning sun was shining in her window. She cursed at herself for forgetting to close the blinds. She looked at her left arm. There was a large red cut across her forearm. It made her feel more human, alive. She closed her eyes and remembered the night before.

Rogue had removed the razor from the shaver. She looked at it and hoped that it would help all her pain go away. She was depressed and just wanted all her problems to go away, but she didn't want to die. No, she didn't want to die. She just wanted to pain to go away. She wanted the guilt and feelings of loneliness and hollowness to go away. She wanted to feel. She felt like an empty shell and she didn't know why she kept up the façade with Logan. She wanted to tell Logan that she wanted out of their relationship, or whatever it was. But at the same time she felt like she was stuck with Logan because she allowed herself to get into that situation to begin with.

She contemplated death, but she realised she wasn't ready to die. But at the same time, she still wondered what it felt like to take a blade to your own skin. She held out her left arm and placed the blade about halfway down the underside of her forearm.

'Can ah really do this?'

She slowly pressed the blade harder to her skin.

'Ah need tah know ah'm alive.'

She slowly moved the blade to the right so that it cut the skin. She tried to not cut herself too deep that she'd require stitches. The blood began to trickled down the side of her arm and landed in the basin.

'Ah need this. Ah need this. Ah need this.'

Rogue watched the blood flow and she made no attempt to try stop the bleeding. No. She needed this. She needed to feel. As she watched the blood trickle out of her arm, she felt like her troubles was slowly leaving her. The pain made everything in her head feel numb. Rogue turned and sat on the lid to her laundry chute, which was next to the basin, but kept her bloodied arm over the basin. She didn't want anyone to know she was cutting herself. It was her little secret.

'Ah need this. Ah need this. Ah need this.'

_It's easier to run  
Replacing this pain with something numb  
It's so much easier to go  
Than face all this pain here all alone_

Something has been taken  
From deep inside of me  
A secret I've kept locked away  
No one can ever see  
Wounds so deep they never show  
They never go away  
Like moving pictures in my head  
For years and years they've played

_If I could change I would  
Take back the pain I would  
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would  
If I could  
Stand up and take the blame I would  
If I could take all the shame to the grave I  
Would_

_Sometimes I remember  
The darkness of my past  
Bringing back these memories  
I wish I didn't have  
Sometimes I think of letting go  
And never looking back  
And never moving forward so  
There would never be a past_

_(Easier to run – Linkin Park)_


	6. ch6: Dying Inside

**Author's notes:** I thought I'd be nice and post TWO chapters up this time coz I've kinda been busy with xmas coming up and haven't posted in WEEKS! Don't forget to review! Enjoy!

**Ch6: dying inside**

Rogue sat up in bed. She was hungry and she knew that she wouldn't eat unless she got to the kitchen herself. The only thing was that she didn't want to face anyone anymore. She couldn't face Logan anymore without feeling sick inside. She wanted out but she was afraid of hurting him if she broke up with him. She didn't want to face Remy because she was ashamed of what she had done. She didn't want to face any of the other students because she didn't want to lie to them anymore. She looked at her arm again. The cut was about two inches across and it had taken her almost two hours to get the bleeding to stop last night. She ran her fingers over it. The skin stuck out a little and the scabs were beginning to form. She winced in pain when she touched it, but she liked the feeling. She felt more alive when she felt the pain. It was a tiny reminder that she wasn't a hollow shell after all.

Rogue got up and walked over to her closet. It was a bright sunny day, but wearing a T-shirt wouldn't cover her new scar. Instead, she pulled out a tight, black cotton top and put it on. The top had long sleeves, which covered her cut, and the top was short, exposing her stomach. She grabbed her dark blue jeans and put them on. She didn't want to face anyone, let alone leave her room, but she knew even if she did stay in her room, someone would no doubt some in to see how she was doing. Rogue contemplated walking around the house barefoot, but then thought of a better idea. She was going to have a little day out by heself. She smiled to herself as she put on her black combat boots.

-Knock knock-

'Oh shit,' Rogue thought to herself. She stopped tying the shoelaces on her combat boot and looked at the door. She didn't want Logan to come in and she didn't want Remy to know she'd been cutting herself. Rogue sat motionless, hoping whoever it was behind the door would think she wasn't in there and go away.

"Rogue! I know you're in there!" Jean called out through the door.

Rogue let out her breath I relief and got up to open the door.

"Come on, Rogue! Or am I going to have to get Kitty to phase me through the-"

Rogue opened the door before Jean could finish her sentence. She didn't say anything and just stared at Jean.

Jean gulped. She hadn't had a deep and meaningful conversation with Rogue in so long and she was nervous. "I just wanted to see how you're doing," Jean smiled.

Rogue looked unimpressed. "The professor send you down here?" She asked as she leaned on the door.

Admittedly, the professor _had_ spoken to Jean and asked her to check up on Rogue. But Jean didn't want Rogue to know that she had to go report back to the Professor.  
"No, no! I just wanted to see how you're doing with the whole.. Logan thing," Jean explained.

Catching Jean off guard, Rouge suddenly grabbed Jean's top by the collar and pulled Jean into the room with such force that Jean almost lost her balance and had to run to stop herself from falling head first on the floor.

"Hey! What was that for!" Jean yelled angrily.

Rogue quickly shut the door and turned to face Jean. "Not so loud, okay! Your lucky Ah even told you about it, and ah don't want the whole mansion tah know, okay!" Rogue yelled.

Jean crossed her arms. "Well they're gonna know if you keep yelling!" Jean said in a matter-of-fact voice.

Rogue groaned to herself and threw her arms up in the air.

Jean proceeded to sit on the end of Rogue's bed and watched Rogue return to the bed to resume tying her shoelaces. "So.."

"So.." Rogue repeated, not taking her attention off her combat boots.

Jean rolled her eyes at Rogue's unwillingness to initiate the conversation. "So.. What's going on between you and Logan now?"

Rogue finished tying her shoelaces and then turned to look at Jean. "There's nothing goin' on," Rogue replied. "Ah don't want any part of it anymore," She explained.

"Anymore?"

Suddenly Rogue realised she hadn't told Jean she had continued to sleep with Logan after that night in the truck. Her eyes widened when she realised. "Um.. er.. well.. Yeah."

Jean stood up. She didn't know how to comprehend how Rogue could still be sleeping with Logan. When she saw Rogue and Logan acting like friends again, she thought they'd somehow worked past it and acted like it never happened. "You're still sleeping with him?" Jean said a little louder than she intended. She couldn't help it. She was surprised and shocked. Also a little grossed out because she didn't see Logan in a sexual way.

Rogue bowed her head. She couldn't look Jean in the eye. She was afraid of what Jean would think of her. "_Was,_ but not anymore."

"And how long did this go on for?"

Rogue held her head in her hands and leaned her elbows on her knees. "Since a week or so after.. mah birthday. But it's over now.."

---------------------------------

Remy reached Rogue's bedroom door with the toast he'd made and smiled to himself. He was planning to bring her a mini breakfast in bed in the hopes of working something out with his ex girlfriend. The only thing was, someone was already in the room with Rogue. He lifted his hand to knock, but then he heard Rogue's voice.

"And ah don't want anything to do with him anymore." She said.

"Does Logan know?" Jean asked.

Remy put his ear to the door to listen who they were talking about.

"No."

"Well you have to tell him, Rogue! You can't go on with the poor guy thinking you still like him! I think you should tell Remy."

Remy took his ear away from the door. He was confused. So Rogue didn't like him anymore? And she hadn't told Logan yet? Remy almost dropped the plate he was holding. He thought that Rogue still loved him, but now it sounded like she didn't. It was confusing because he saw the look in Rogue's eyes when he'd returned, but now he's hearing her say she likes Logan now?

Remy, feeling shot down, headed back to the boys dorms. He wanted to make things right again and tell Rogue that he still loved her. He was sure of it. But now he wasn't so sure. He was sure that Rogue still loved him, and the memories she passed onto him confirmed it. But now, hearing her, he was sure she'd just said that she didn't.

Poor Remy had no idea that Rogue was really talking about breaking it off with Logan and not himself.

-----------------------------------

"Tell Remy?" Rogue replied. "Why!"

Jean huffed and rolled her eyes. "So that he knows you really do still love him, you dingbat! But you have to tell Logan it's over first!"

She knew Jean was right. "Ah plan to tell Logan that it's over. Just not.. now. As for Remy, ah know he doesn't like me anymore!"

Jean put a hand on Rogue's hand. "Trust the telepath when I say that guy still loves you."

Rogue crossed her arms when Jean touched her hand. She was still slowly getting used to the idea of being able to have physical contact with people. "Yeah well all ah see is him glaring at me all the time. He's mad because he knows about me and Logan."

"How did he figure it out?" Jean asked. She had no idea how Remy could have known because he's been gone more than a month from the mansion.

Rogue went on to explain to Jean how she'd accidentally passed on her memories to Remy.

"Oh my God!" Jean exclaimed and put her hands to her wide-open mouth. "No wonder he was such a prick around Logan!"

Rogue nodded. She didn't want to think about it anymore. She had planned to get out of the mansion for the day, and get out she will. "Ah need to get out and think." Rogue said suddenly. She got up and headed for the door.

"Where are you going?" Jean asked, getting up also.

"Out. Ah need tah get away from everyone for ah few hours!" Rogue replied.

"I'll come," Jean said, heading towards Rogue.

Rogue opened the door to her room and stopped. She turned, looked at Jean and shook her head. "No. Ah need tah be alone for ah while." Rogue stepped outside her room and looked down the hallway. She could've sworn she'd seen Remy turn the corner out of the hallway, but she wasn't sure. She shrugged it off, thinking Remy would never come see her of his own free will, and turned to Jean instead. "Look. Ah know you're trying tah help, and.. thank you. But ah just don't feel like socialising right now."

Jean nodded in understanding. "Okay. But you know where I am if you need, okay?"

Rogue smiled and nodded. She then left the girls dorms and headed to the garage.

--------------------------

Remy returned to his dorm. He walked across the large bedroom, over to the double doors that lead to the balcony and opened them. His balcony looked out onto the front yard of the mansion. He placed the plate with his now cold toast on the railing. With his hands now free, Remy lifted himself up onto the railing so that he was sitting on the large, thick concrete railing with his legs hanging over the edge.

He admired the view of the beautifully maintained front garden as he ate his horribly cold, soggy toast. Storm did an amazing job with the garden. The sun was shining in from the left and he cursed himself for forgetting to put his sunglasses on again. He debated getting off the balcony and getting them from his bedside table, but he decided that was too much effort so early in the morning (9:46am).

Remy really loved sitting out on his balcony. Sitting there helped him to think. And right now he had a lot to think about.

'Maybe Rogue really is trying to move on,' Remy thought to himself. Maybe it's all my fault. Maybe if I didn't give her such a cold shoulder last night in the danger room, she wouldn't be trying to get over me so quickly.' Remy sighed to himself. He wasn't hungry anymore and the toast had gotten kinda disgustingly soggy.

Remy leaned forward to see the ground below him. He was two stories up but he wasn't afraid of falling. He didn't really care anymore. He remembered when he used to know what was going on in his life. Even earlier that morning in the kitchen, he thought he knew that Rogue loved him and that he could make everything better by asking her to take him back. But after eavesdropping on Rogue's conversation with Jean, he didn't know anymore.

'Remy you stupid fool.'

A low rumbling sound snapped Remy out of his thoughts. He looked below and he realised it was the sound of the garage opening. He watched to see who was going out, figuring that maybe one of the students would be heading out. What Remy didn't expect to see was Rogue pushing her motorbike out onto the driveway.

Remy couldn't help but stare at Rogue. He knew that once Rogue gained control over her powers, she was more confident in wearing more revealing clothing. And admittedly, he loved seeing her dress that way. He saw her wearing her midriff exposed top and her hip hugging jeans. Her studded belt shone in the sunlight and it only accentuated her exposed hips more. Her hair was long now and ran halfway down her back.

"Rogue," Remy said to himself.

He and the other students had pitched in and got her the motorbike for her twenty-first birthday. Logan was getting sick of her 'borrowing' his all the time and Remy didn't mind giving Rogue lifts on his, so that she could hug him as he drove her around. But Rogue still wanted her own bike. Remy regretted not being there on her twenty-first to see her reaction when the other students handed it to her. He remembered when he and Scott had gone to the shop to pick out a bike for her. They picked one that was painted emerald green, her favourite colour. Remy had ordered a bike helmet to be specially made for Rogue.

He watched her put on her bike helmet and get on the bike. The bike helmet was black, with Rogue's name painted on the back in emerald green cursive writing.

Remy wondered if she really did love the name written on the back of the helmet. "Well at least she's wearing it," Remy said to himself.

Remy longed to talk to Rogue again. He was mad at himself, not because he thought she was getting over him, but because he realised what he'd lost. He left because he only let his relationships with women get so far, and now Rogue was further away from him than he could ever imagine. He realised that he needed her more than he ever imagined and he realised his mistake.

"You're such a stupid fool, Remy."

-------------------------

Logan sat in the kitchen until about 10:30am. He'd already finished reading his paper and Rogue still hadn't arrived to have breakfast. He figured maybe she was moping in her room and he decided to go see if he could cheer her up.

He tucked his paper under his arm and headed out of the kitchen. As he headed up the stairs to the girl's dorms, he saw Jean heading his way. The way Jean looked at him confirmed that she knew something about himself and Rogue. She was acting like she didn't know, and Logan could smell it. No doubt Rogue told her, or she used her telepathic powers to find out.

"Hey, Red. Seen Rogue around?" He asked casually.

For some reason, Jean wished she didn't know that Logan had been sleeping with Rogue. Now that she knew it had continued on after Rogue's birthday, Jean felt weird around Logan. She felt grossed out about thinking of Logan as a sexual being. And by the look on Logan's face, she knew that he knew that she knew.

"Um.. yeah. She just left," Jean tried to say casually.

"Left?" Logan asked. "Left where?"

Jean sensed something in Logan change. She couldn't explain it and she didn't want to let Logan know. So, Jean shrugged in response. "She said she was going out for a bit." And then walked off. She couldn't stand the aura she was picking up off Logan. It scared her. When she told him that Rogue had left, he seemed almost jealous for some reason. Possibly even mad that Rogue had gone out without him. The feelings of possessiveness Jean could feel made her sick to her stomach. She had to get out of there. She wanted to tell the professor, but she wanted Rogue to tell Logan it was over first. She wanted Rogue to tell him before the professor intervened.

-------------------------------

Rogue didn't return to the mansion until well after dinnertime. She remembered to call the professor during the day to tell him she'd be missing dinner, otherwise she would have had to suffer yet another one of the professor's lectures. It was almost 9pm, and she didn't want to disturb anyone. So she rode her motorbike up to the gates of the mansion and then got off. She turned off the engine and pushed her motorbike up the long driveway. After she parked the bike in the garage, she made her way back to her room.

She'd had a pleasant day. She rode down to the beach and walked along the sand to think. She figured that Jean was right and that she should break up with Logan straight away. She didn't know if she really believed Jean though when she said that Remy really does love her. Now that she was home, she was nervous. She knew she had to tell Logan, but like with most break ups, they drive your mind crazy. She'd never had to break up with anyone before, and it scared her. She didn't know how Logan would react.

Rogue continued to her room and figured that she'd do it first thing the next morning. She really wanted to rest after her day out and she still didn't know what to say to Logan just yet. However, as Rogue reached her room, she saw that her bedroom door was open and the light was on. Rogue felt a sinking feeling in her gut. She knew none of the girls would enter her room without permission because they knew they'd have to face her wrath if they did. She found it highly unlikely that any of the boys, or Remy would go anywhere near her room, so that left only one person. Rogue stopped walking and stood motionless only metres away from her doorway.

"Oh Fuck."


	7. ch7: Cutting Into My Skin

**Author's notes:** so have ya guessed who's in her room yet? Well I'm trying to churn things around in the X-mansion, turn badies into goodies, and vice versa... Hope you guys like this next chapter! It's a bit short, but Don't forget to review!

**Ch7: Cutting into my skin**

Rogue took a deep breath and walked towards her door. It was now or never. It had to be done. Rogue was scared because she didn't know what she had to say. She slowly walked into her bedroom to see Logan sitting on her desk chair. He had his right hand on the desk and he was rapping his fingers across the desk. He looked pissed off and she didn't know why.

"Logan, hi." Rogue greeted. She tried to keep smiling, but something was up. Logan didn't reply. Rogue continued into her room and closed the door. "What's going on?"

Logan took a deep breath. "Where were you?"

Rogue stood in the middle of the room and crossed her arms. "Ah went out for the day, why?"

Logan stood up. "Why didn't you tell me you were going out?" his voice was gruff and he sounded mad, but that he was trying to hold it back. And that's what scared her.

Rogue felt threatened by Logan, but she didn't know why. She knew she could take on Logan if he tried, but once he pulled out his adamantium claws, she was in big trouble. She had never felt threatened by Logan, but today something was different about him. She couldn't figure it out. "Ah didn't feel that ah had to," Rogue replied.

Logan took a step closer to Rogue. "I waited for you in the kitchen this morning. I was hoping we'd have a chat, but you just left without telling anyone," Logan explained. He took another step closer to Rogue. This time she couldn't help but move a step back.

"Ah didn't know yah were waiting. Ah just got up and felt like going out," Rogue explained. She tried to remain calm, but she was afraid. She had no idea why suddenly Logan was acting so weird.

Logan stepped closer again and Rogue took another step back. "Next time, let me know where you're going," He ordered. Logan continued to step closer to Rogue, and she kept stepping back. Logan knew Rogue was afraid of him. He could smell it. He smiled inside. He had the power, the upper hand in this situation and he loved it. Within a few seconds, Rogue had backed herself into a wall. She felt like prey backed into a corner and that Logan was the predator.

Rogue felt the wall touch her back and she felt more scared for her life than she'd ever felt during her time in the mansion. "Since when do yah want to know everywhere ah go?" Rogue replied, trying to show Logan that she wasn't scared.

Logan placed a hand on the wall above Rogue's head and leaned in close. He sniffed her hair. She smelt like sand and salt water. He loved how she smelt, and the smell of her fear drove his senses wild. Rogue turned her head away from Logan. She had no idea what was going on. She didn't want Logan touching her anymore.

"Logan, stop," Rogue commanded. She tried to push Logan off her but he wouldn't budge. "Logan! Ah said stop!" Rogue said louder and angrier. Again Logan didn't moved. Logan, however, moved his head back a little so that he could look into Rogue's green eyes. She couldn't make out the look he was giving her, but he wasn't angry anymore. "What do yah want?" She asked.

Logan smiled, "What do you think?" Logan leaned forward again and began kissing Rogue's neck.

"No."

Logan slowly moved his kisses upwards until he reacher her ear. "Were you with Gambit today?" Logan whispered in her hear. His voice didn't come across as angry, and it could only be explained as the type of voice you hear when the devil whispers in people's ears in the movies. She felt his hot breath on her ear and she hated that he knew how to turn her on. She also picked up how Logan called Remy by his mutant name. Logan only did it when he was pissed off with one of the students.

"No."

Logan kept his hand on the wall above Rogue, pinning her to that spot, but he brought his other hand up against her thigh. His mouth was still near her ear, kissing her. "Don't lie," Logan growled.

"Ah'm not!" Rogue replied even louder than she intended. "Now get off me!" Rogue yelled. She didn't care anymore if anyone heard them. She wanted Logan to stop freaking her out. She pushed his chest but he didn't move. She hated that he weighed a ton with his stupid metal bones.

Logan kept his arm pinned on the wall and his other hand was now away from her thigh and was now wrapped around her forearm. His grip was insanely close to the fresh wound she'd made the night before and it made her arm burn with pain. "Logan, you're hurting me!" Logan continued to look into her eyes, but didn't say a word. She had to get him off her, change the topic.. Something! "Are yah jealous of Remy?" Rogue asked. Logan didn't reply. He just kept looking into her eyes. "Ah told you, ah wasn't out with Remy today. Now get _off_ me! What the hell is wrong with yah?" Rogue yelled.

Logan looked like he wasn't even listening to Rogue and it scared her. "I love you, Rogue."

Rogue had had enough. She had no idea what had gotten into Logan and she was so scared she didn't know what he'd do if she tried to break up with him.

"Logan, get off before ah _make_ yah get off me!" Rogue threatened. Logan knew what that meant; Being knocked unconscious for hours after Rogue absorbs him. And Logan had been through that many times before. He hated the feeling of helplessness and weakness that came when Rogue absorbed him, and Rogue knew he hated it.

He smiled in a cocky way and removed his hands. Logan lifted his hand to Rogue's cheek and ran his fingers down her jaw line. Rogue felt violated and was ready to absorb him if he didn't let her go.

"Nite," Logan said softly before he turned and headed towards the door.

Rogue didn't move from her spot against the wall until Logan had closed the door behind him. As soon as she heard the door shut, she slid down the wall and crouched on the floor. She had no idea what had just happened. She didn't know what provoked Logan to act like that. She had never seen that look in Logan's eyes before. Something about him was animalistic, possessive if not obsessive and it scared the shit out of her. And she was shocked at Logan questioning if she'd been out with Remy all afternoon. Surely Logan would have seen Remy at the mansion during the day.

'Unless Remy went out too.'

Rogue was in such shock, she almost didn't hear the knock at her door.

"Rogue?" It was Jean again. "Are you alright?"

Jean's room was next door and Rogue figured that she must've heard something.

Rogue wasn't in the mood to talk to Jean. She knew she had to sort this out herself. "Ah'm okay," Rogue called out. "Goodnight!"

"But Rogue," Jean called out through the door.

"Good night!" Rogue called out again, hoping that Jean would take the hint and go away.

"Goodnight," Jean said through the door. Rogue could hear in Jean's voice that she was not happy that she wasn't allowed in to talk to Rogue. And then there was silence. Rogue's heart was pumping at a million miles an hour. She wondered why she didn't absorb Logan to get him off her. She would have absorbed all his memories and figured out what was wrong with him, but at the same time, she was glad she didn't absorb him. She didn't like what she saw in Logan's eyes, and she didn't want to hear what was going through his mind as well.

Rogue grabbed her head and rocked. "How am ah going tah get out of this?"

"Ah'm all alone. Ah'm all alone. Ah'm all alone." She whispered to herself. She was scared and didn't want anything to do with Logan now. She knew if she allowed Jean into her room, she would have told Rogue to go tell the professor. But even though Rogue knew that the professor probably knew she slept with Logan, she didn't want to tell him out loud. It was too embarrassing. She didn't know what everyone would think of her if word got out.

"Ah need to escape. Ah need to get away from it all! Ah can't stand it anymore!" Rogue growled to herself. She forced herself to get up and she made her way to the bathroom. The blade from the night before was sitting on the side of the basin, where she'd left it. She picked it up. It was still bloody. Rogue took off her top and lifted her arm up to look at the red line she'd made the night before. The skin surrounding the cut was bright red. When Logan grabbed her arm, he must've aggravated the wound.

"Ah need this. Ah need this. Ah need this."

Rogue placed the blade next to the cut, ready to make a new line.

"Ah need the pain to go away. Oh God. Please make it go away!"

She pressed the blade down on her skin and winced in pain. She watched the blood trickle out of her arm, just like the night before. She sat on the lid to the laundry chute again, with her arm in the basin.

"What have ah done tah deserve this?"

She felt light headed as the blood ran into the basin. She made sure that she wouldn't need stitches, but the blood was still coming out quickly none the less. Rogue rested her head against the wall and closed her eyes. She felt her pains slowly go down the drain with the blood and she tried to think of the days when she was truly happy.

"Remy.. Ah miss yah."

Rogue didn't know how long she'd closed her eyes for, but when she opened them, the cut on her arm had stopped bleeding and the blood had dried all over her forearm and looked like deep red streams. She figured she must've passed out from all the excitement of that night. Rogue grabbed a bath towel and wet one of the corners. With the wet corner, she started cleaning up the dried up blood on her arm. It hurt, and even though she winced in pain, she felt more alive knowing that she could feel the pain and that she wasn't just a hollow shell.

After she was satisfied that she'd cleaned up most of the blood, Rogue walked out of the bathroom towards her bed. The balcony doors were wide open but she didn't remember opening them in the morning.

"Logan." Rogue muttered to herself as she walked over to close the doors. As she reached the doors, something caught her eye outside the mansion gates. A set of headlights were coming down the driveway and the rumble of a motorbike could be heard. Rogue walked out on the balcony, not caring that she was only wearing her bra and jeans, to see who it was. She looked back inside her room to see what time it was. 10:30pm. She'd passed out for more than an hour.

Finding the late night visitor more important, Rogue leaned on the concrete rails of the balcony and watched as Remy's bike rode into the garage.

"Who the hell has he got on the back?" Rogue asked herself. The person riding on the back of Remy's bike had no helmet on and Rogue could see the woman's face. She didn't recognise the blonde woman, so Rogue decided to check it out. She ran across her room and grabbed a singlet she had lying on the end of her bed and put it on. She then ran out of her room and down the dark hallway towards the front door. As she neared the stairs that lead down to the front door, Rogue leaned back onto the wall to keep in the shadows and only dared to peek her head around the corner. She watched down the left side of the staircase to see Remy walking in with his arm around the anonymous blonde woman. Rogue's eyes widened. She hadn't expected Remy to bring anyone home, regardless if Xavier strictly told all students it wasn't allowed. After Jean telling her that Remy still really loved her, it hurt Rogue more to see him with another woman. Rogue wasn't an idiot. She knew that Remy would only bring the girl home for one reason.

She watched as Remy led the girl up the right side of the wide staircase, which led to the boy's dorms. She couldn't hear what they were saying, but the woman looked drunk. Remy looked like he'd been drinking too. Rogue hid in the shadows as she watched them climb the staircase. She figured that they hadn't seen her, but as they reached the top and turned to head down the boy's dorms, Remy turned his head and looked right at Rogue. Rogue's eyes widened at the fact that she'd been sprung. She had no idea how he knew she was there! And she was hurt at the look Remy was sending her. He didn't look mad, or like a man who was about to get laid. His stare was dead and cold and it held Rogue frozen in her place. She pitied Remy. There was something about the look in his eyes that made her wish he were in her arms instead of that trashy blonde's.

After a moment, Remy looked forward again and continued his way to his bedroom with the blonde in tow.

Rogue crouched on the floor and hugged herself. "Why is mah life so screwed up?" She whispered to herself. She felt like she was dying inside. She'd just gotten confirmation that her ex doesn't love her anymore and now she doesn't know how to tell Logan it's over without the fear of him doing something crazy, like attacking her!


	8. ch8: Forgive Me

**author's notes :** I have some American net friends who don't know what a singlet is.. It's an item of clothing, namely a top with no sleeves, but with staps that go over the shoulders instead.. okay here's the next chapter.. I seriously thought I poste this already- but I guess I didn't! lol okay don't 4get to review!

* * *

**Ch8: forgive me**

Mornings. Rogue hated mornings. She was a night owl and could stay up all night long. The only thing was as soon as morning came, all she wanted to do was sleep in. Now that she was out of high school, she had more days to sleep in. She only had Uni three days a week and she loved it that way. Rogue yawned and looked around the room. She remembered to close the blinds the night before so she didn't have the morning sun glaring in her eyes two mornings in a row.

She rolled onto her back and stretched her arms up into the air. After a moment, she quickly pulled her left arm back down because she realised the cut from the night before was aching when she stretched out her arm. It had hurt a lot more than the first one and when she looked at her arm, she realised why. There was blood all over her arm again, but unlike when it had dried the night before, this time it looked like the blood was smudged all over the underside of her arm and dried up that way.

Rogue sat up to better examine her arm. When she did, she saw that the front of her singlet was covered in bloodstains.

"Fuck!" She grumbled to herself when she realised her cut must've opened during the night and spilled blood all over her top. She got out of bed to see if the blood had reached her sheets too. "Fuck!" There were blobs of blood on the bed too. Rogue quickly stripped the bed of the bloodied fitted sheet and took off her singlet. She made her way to her bathroom and opened the lid to the laundry chute. Whatever she threw down there would drop downstairs into the laundry room, where whoever's duty it was to do the laundry that week would wash everyone's clothes. Thankfully, laundry day was today. And it was Rogue's turn to do the laundry.

"There is a God!" Rogue praised to herself and dropped the bloody cargo down the chute. She didn't want to carry it to the laundry because then everyone would have seen it as she walked there. At least she knew that she would be the only one to see the bloody laundry and to make sure of it, she planned to do the laundry first thing that morning, before breakfast time.

Figuring, she'd wash her arm later, Rogue smiled to herself as she put on her top from the day before, which covered her bloodied arm and her track pants and made her way to the laundry. To get to the laundry, she had to go down the hallway and out of the girl's dorms. She then had to go down the long staircase that leads to the front door to get downstairs. Then to the basement through a door near the kitchen to get to the laundry. Rogue smiled as she walked down the hallway, thinking her luck had finally turned around. She didn't want anyone finding out she'd been cutting herself. If the Professor found out, she didn't know what he'd do.

As Rogue left the hallway, she turned to head down the staircase, but she saw Jean, Kitty and Boom Boom standing on the staircase laughing. "What's going on?" Rogue asked, wondering why they were standing around and not off having breakfast.

"You wont believe what just happened!" Kitty exclaimed. Kitty loved to be the one to tell people anything remotely juicy. "Remy-" Kitty began but was cut off when Jean elbowed her in the stomach. "Ow!" Kitty called out, but then realised why Jean elbowed her. "Sorry."

Rogue saw the unobvious elbow action and crossed her arms, "What did he do now?" Seeming to be totally uninterested in Remy's doings.

Jean, Kitty and Boom Boom looked uneasy. Jean figured since she stopped Kitty from saying anything then she'd have to be the one to tell Rogue. "Look, Rogue. Remy.. um.. he.." Jean stumbled on her words. She didn't want to hurt Rogue's feelings.

Rogue tried her hardest to look like she didn't care about Remy anymore. "Does this have anything to do with the girl he brought home last night?"

When Rogue mentioned the mystery blonde, the other girls were surprised. "How did you know about her?" Kitty asked.

"Ah saw him bring her home last night," Rogue answered matter-of-factly. "So what did the professor give him?"

"Three months of laundry duty, gardening with Ororo and cleaning the X-jet once a week," Jean explained.

Rogue's heart began to pound when she heard the words 'Laundry duty'. "Oh mah God!" she exclaimed. "Ah gotta go!" She explained as she pushed her way past the girls and sprinted down the staircase and down to the laundry.

When she got there, Remy was nowhere to be seen. Rogue breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh thank God!" She quickly tried to fish out her bloody sheets and top, but they were underneath a whole lot of some one else's dirty laundry. As she sifted through all the random items of clothing, she realised who'd decided to unload all their dirty clothes in one go. "Damnit, Kurt!" She groaned as she threw all Kurt's dirty clothing over her shoulder and tried to get to her sheet.

"Hey!" A male voice called out, after being hit in the face with a pair of Kurt's boxer shorts.

'Oh shit!' Rogue thought to herself. Remy had arrived to do the laundry and she still hadn't found her bloodied sheet and top! Rogue stood upright and turned to faced Remy. She knew that he knew that she'd seen him bring the blonde bimbo home, and she tried her hardest to act like she didn't care. But she felt like dying when she looked at him. She remembered the look in his eyes and she felt like he only did it to spite her. Now she knew how he felt when he found out she'd slept with Logan. Rogue couldn't help but stare at Remy. She didn't know what to say. If she started to talk, her voice would give her away and she didn't want Remy to know she wanted so much to hold him again. Rogue bit her lip as she tried harder than she had ever tried before to keep her tears back.

Remy stood motionless, but his eyes looked sad. "The Professor.." Remy began to explain, but Rogue cut him off.

"Yeah, ah heard. Ah'll get outah your hair in ah sec. Ah accidentally threw down something ah wanna wear today, so lemme get it and ah'll be off," Rogue lied. She turned quickly back to the pile of laundry on the floor so that Remy wouldn't see that she was about to cry. She didn't know how she was going to hide the bloodstains as she walked back to her room, but she needed to find the sheet and her top first before she would worry about it.

Remy watched as Rogue crouched on the floor and sifted through the clothes. "Chere," He said softly. He hadn't called Rogue that since before he left. Rogue stopped sifting through the clothes and sat motionless. She was shocked. She missed Remy calling her that. "Whatever you threw down here is probably dirty now from all the other clothes. Leave it. Remy clean it for you," Remy explained. His voice was so full of hurt and guilt that it made Rogue want to cry even more. Their relationship was fucked up, non existent and Rogue wanted to crawl into a ball and cry.

Rogue was in her own little world and she didn't realised he'd walked across the room to her and put a hand on her shoulder. "Leave it," Remy said softly.

Rogue sniffed and held back her tears. "No. Ah need it," she insisted but Remy put his other hand on her other shoulder. He pulled Rogue to her feet but her back was still facing him. Rogue couldn't face him. He would've figured out that she was crying, but she still didn't want him to see it.

"Rogue, I-"

"Don't say it," Rogue cut him off. "Ah know ya hate me and ah don't need you tah tell me you're sorry for last night, when ya aren't." Rogue sobbed. She had failed to hold back her tears and was now bawling her eyes out. She didn't know why, but Rogue felt that with Remy trying to move on, that this would be her last chance to tell him how she felt. "Ah love you, Remy. But ah don't expect you tah love me back."

Remy still stared at Rogue's neck and kept his hands on her shoulders. He hadn't dared to turn her around to face him for fear of how he would react. He was afraid of giving in. Afraid of hugging her again. He was still confused as to why he thought he heard her saying she didn't love him anymore the night before. "Is that why you're still with.. him?" Remy asked.

Rogue was surprised Remy's tone wasn't angry. He sounded hurt and betrayed, and rightly so. "Ah don't love Logan. Ah don't think ah ever did.." Rogue explained. She bowed her head and couldn't bear to face Remy. Still staring at the pile of dirty clothes on the floor, she spotted the bloody sheet. She quickly ran to the sheet, forcing Remy to let go of her shoulders, and grabbed it. She rolled it up as fast as she could and prayed that the singlet was rolled in with the sheet. She couldn't see it anywhere on the floor so she thought she was safe. Rogue then turned and faced Remy. Her eyes were red from crying. "Ah have to go," She said softly as she hugged the white rolled up sheet.

Remy nodded and stood motionless as he watched Rogue head for the door. But as Rogue started to walk closer to him, to get to the door, Remy realised something and stepped to the side to stand in Rogue's way. Shocked, Rogue quickly stopped walking and looked up at the demon-eyed man. She was speechless and had no idea why he did that. That is, until he asked, "Why were you spying on Remy last night?"

Rogue was shocked. She hadn't expected him to ask her that. "Ah wasn't," She replied. "Ah was on mah balcony and ah heard you coming home. When ah realised ah didn't recognise who was on the back of your bike, ah went tah see who it was," Rogue explained.

Remy nodded and then stepped to the side to let Rogue pass him. Rogue nodded silently and hugged the sheet tighter. She wished it were Remy she were really hugging, but she doubted that would ever happen again. Rogue didn't move. She found herself coming up with a million questions for Remy, but only one came out, "Do yah hate me, Remy?" She asked, not taking her eyes off the floor in front of her.

Remy was so shocked by the question, that he couldn't come up with a decent answer for her. Sure, he hated her for what she'd done, but then he also hated himself for leaving her and for sleeping with the blonde too. "I.. er.. well.." He mumbled.

Rogue nodded at Remy's incoherent response. "Don't worry," She said softly. "I already hate myself for what I've done. And I'd take it all back."

Remy watched as Rogue walked out the door. He knew Rogue felt extremely guilty about being with Logan. He had her thoughts still running in his mind from when she passed on her memories to him. But what he didn't realise was how much she hated herself for it.

"Remy'll make things right, Chere," Remy said aloud, but Rogue had already left.

----------------------------------

Rogue got to her room without having to stop to talk to anyone. She quickly walked to her bathroom and threw the sheet on the floor. She planned to wash it and her singlet herself in her bathroom since Remy would be doing all the laundry for the next three months. She rolled up her sleeves but winced as her left sleeve scraped her fresh cut. Thankfully it didn't bleed again but it hurt like hell. Rogue then bend down and picked up the sheet. She opened it up and hoped that the green bloody singlet would fall out of the rolled up sheet.

"Fuck me dead!" She groaned to herself. She'd opened the sheet and there was no bloody singlet! "How am I going to get it back now!"

Rogue prayed to God that Remy wouldn't notice it as he chucked the clothes into the washing machine, but she knew that he still had to sort the clothes by colours. She had no idea how she was going to get the shirt back. She sat on the lid of her laundry chute again and thought about it.

'If it wasn't so weird between us, ah'd be able to walk in casually. But now.. argh!' she thought to herself. 'Well, weird or no, I _have_ to get that top back before he sees it!'

Rogue got up and ran out of the bathroom. She ran to her door and opened it, planning to run down to the laundry. What she didn't expect to find was Remy standing outside her door. When she opened the door, Rogue nearly ran into him because she wasn't expecting anyone to be outside her door. She quickly stopped in her tracks and looked up at Remy. His right hand was raised and his fist was in a ball, ready to knock on the door.

"Whoah!" Rogue exclaimed as she almost hit Remy. "Uh, Remy, what are yah doing here?"

Remy lowered his hand. He brought up his other hand and there it was. Remy was holding up the bloody singlet in his hand. "What's this?" Remy asked. He looked concerned.

"It's a singlet," Rogue replied sarcastically. She reached up for the top and then she realised she hadn't rolled down her sleeves when she left her bathroom.

Remy lowered the singlet and raised his free hand to grab her left arm. "What happened?" He exclaimed as he tried to get a closer look at her cuts.

Rogue couldn't believe it. Remy was touching her. She would have let him touch her, but he had seen the cuts on her arm. Rogue quickly pulled her hand free and rolled down her sleeves. "I had an accident," Rogue explained. She didn't know how she was going to explain how she got the cuts if Remy asked, but she had to think up something believable.

"And the singlet?" Remy asked, holding it up again.

Rogue took the singlet from Remy. "Mah cut opened sometime during the night and bled all over mah top. It's nothing," She reassured. Well at least she was partly telling the truth.

"That doesn't look like nothing," Remy commented. "Those cuts looked clean and precise," Remy explained. Rogue was getting nervous. Remy was getting too close to the truth.

Rogue crossed her arms and put all her weight on one leg. "What are yah saying, swamp rat?"

Remy couldn't believe his eyes. Those cuts were too clean to be an accident. Whatever cut her, it didn't look like an accident. He didn't want to believe it, but only one thing came to mind. He didn't want to believe that Rogue was cutting herself. "Are.. are you alright, Chere?" He asked nervously.

There was that word again. Rogue loved it when he called her his Chere. But given the situation, she had to worry about Remy's suspicions about her cutting herself first. "Ah'm fine," Rogue said in a matter-of-fact voice. "And why do yah care if ah'm okay or not?" Rogue hated herself for trying to start an argument with Remy, but it was her defence mechanism. If she didn't want anyone to know something about her, she'd get defensive and aggressive.

Remy was taken back by Rogue's sudden hostility. "If I didn't care, I wouldn't have come to ask you about the blood," Remy replied. He tried to avoid the subject about their break up. He didn't know how to tell Rogue he still loved her. And it wasn't the time. He wanted to deal with the issue of her cutting herself first. But he figured he'd better eliminate any of the other variables first. "Did… Logan do that to you?"

Rogue was stunned. That was one of the last questions she expected Remy to ask. "No!" She yelled. She couldn't believe that Remy would even think that Logan would do that to her.

Remy apologised for offending her. "Sorry, but he does have blades that come out of his arms."

Rogue shifted her weight to her other foot but kept her arms crossed. "He wouldn't do anything like that," Rogue explained. But she didn't know if she really believed those words herself. After the stunt Logan pulled the night before, she wasn't sure anymore.

Remy snorted at the comment Rogue made. He hated how she talked about him like she knew him better than everyone else. It reminded Remy of how she slept with Logan. Remy wasn't really sure of what else to say. He was convinced that Rogue had cut her arm herself and if she's started cutting herself, it would be a hard thing to stop. His anger slowly dissipated and he handed Rogue the singlet. "Remy don't hate you, Chere," He said softly.

Rogue's features softened and she uncrossed her arms. She didn't expect Remy to say that, not in a million years. She carefully reached for the singlet that Remy held out to her. She paused when her hand touched the singlet. She didn't know what to expect. She didn't know if he was going to grab her arm again or try to hug her. She looked up at him from the singlet. His eyes were sad. His red eyes glistened and Rogue saw that he was going to cry. Rogue couldn't bear to see him like this. He looked like a wreak and Rogue figured she looked no better. "Remy," Rouge said, taking the singlet. "Forgive me?" Rogue hugged the singlet, knowing that Remy wouldn't. She stared at Remy's chest, unable to look into Remy's eyes. Tears welled up in her eyes.

'Don't cry. Don't cry. Oh God, don't cry, Rogue.'

Remy watched as Rogue cried. He hated to see her like this. And now, she was asking him to forgive her. He already knew that she hated herself for what she'd done and now he suspected she was cutting herself. To be cutting herself, Remy knew she definitely wasn't happy. He found himself unable to bear to see her cry. He lifted his hand so that his finger was under Rogue's chin. He lifted her face up so that she could look into his eyes. Her eyes pleaded with him. He missed holding her, and his urge to do so was strong.

Remy stepped closer to Rogue. He threw his arms around her and pulled her close. Rogue stood in shock at first, but then after realising that Remy really was hugging her, she allowed her head to rest on his shoulder. She couldn't believe it. Remy was holding her again, just like she'd hoped. She felt Remy's body shudder and she realised he too was crying.

"I forgive you, Rogue," Remy whispered. He couldn't bring his voice above that of a whisper because of his crying. Remy held his arms firmly around Rogue's shoulders and his cheek rested on her head. "I'm sorry too. I really am."

Rogue, overcome with emotion, felt her knees give way. Remy held her tightly and so she didn't fall. Remy realised they were still standing in her doorway. He wrapped one arm under her knees and lifted Rogue off the ground. He closed the door behind him with his foot and then made his way to Rogue's bed. He lay her on the bed on top of her blankets and lay down next to her.

Rogue couldn't stop the tears. She felt horrible for what she'd done. She hated herself for believing she could ever be happy with Logan. She despised Logan for not seeing that she was so unhappy. She loved Remy and couldn't believe that he was lying there beside her. She closed her eyes and leaned closer to Remy until her head was in the space between Remy's chin and collarbone. Remy put his arm around her and let her cry. Remy ran his hand down the back of her head. It seemed to soothe her as Rogue's sobbing had slowly gone quiet. Remy lifted his head to see her face. Rogue had cried herself to sleep. Remy ran his finger down Rogue's jaw line and admired her sleeping face. Oh God, he missed this. He missed being able to hold her like this.

With Rogue now asleep, Remy took the opportunity to get a closer look at her arm. He slowly rolled up her sleeve, making sure she didn't wake up as he did it. He studied the two cuts on her upper forearm. They were about 5cm from the elbow. The one closest to the elbow was now covered with a dark brown scab. It looked older than the second, which was still a deep red colour and the skin was red around both of them. He ran his thumb softly over them and he could feel that the skin was raised and swollen. Rogue stirred as he touched the cuts, but she didn't wake. Remy slowly and carefully pulled her sleeve back down. He knew now that those cuts were too precise to be an accident. He feared that if she was depressed enough to cut herself, he feared that she might do something even worse. He prayed that she never went far enough to take her own life and he wanted to make sure it never got that bad.

"Remy will make everything better, Chere," Remy whispered. He knew Rogue probably couldn't hear him, but he said it anyway. He knew that things were seriously wrong in Rogue's life and he wanted to help make things right. Remy kissed Rogue on the forehead and slowly rolled off the bed.

Remy headed for the door. He grasped the handle, but before he opened the door, he turned and took one last look at his sleeping beauty. He opened the door and headed back to the laundry to begin his punishment.

_And I don't want to fall to pieces  
I just want to sit and stare at you  
I don't want to talk about it  
and I don't want a conversation  
I just want to cry in front of you  
I don't wanna talk about it  
'cause I'm in love with you_

_I'm in love with you._

_(Fall to pieces – Avril Lavigne)  
_

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Rogue woke to the sound of someone knocking on her door. She opened her eyes, trying to remember where she was. Slowly, the memories of Remy coming to her door and hugging her came back to her. She took a deep breath and sat up. Whoever was at the door knocked again. Rogue got up off the bed and headed to the door. When she opened the door, a shiver went down her spine and her gut churned with feelings of dread.

"Logan?" Rogue asked, shocked that Logan was at her door. All she could think about was his behaviour the night before.

Logan had one hand on the outside of the doorframe and he leaned his body on that arm. "Hey," He smiled. He missed how he and Rogue would get nasty when no one was looking. But now, especially since Remy's return, Rogue had become distant. It made Logan want her even more, as he felt he had to fight to win her back. Logan loved it when things weren't easy. He loved a challenge, and he knew it wouldn't be easy to win Rogue back. He could smell Remy's scent all over Rogue and it made him insanely jealous.

"Was Remy here today?" Logan asked calmly. He wasn't going to let his jealously get the better of him.

He watched as Rogue's body went rigid at the mention of Remy's name. She was afraid and he didn't know why.

"Ah dropped something down the laundry chute and he came here tah bring it back tah me," Rogue explained. Logan nodded and accepted her explanation. But he was still sceptical with Remy's intentions for coming to her room. Rogue crossed her arms. "Did yah come here for something?"

Logan stood upright and nodded. "Yeah. Chuck wants me to test out a new danger room program before we test it on the kids. Hank was supposed to be there to take notes on any flaws in the program, but he's sick as a dog in bed. So, you've been asked to take Hank's place instead," Logan explained.

Rogue nodded. "Okay, ah'll help. When are yah testing out the program?"

Logan smiled. He wanted to spend more time with Rogue. "Now."

Rogue nodded and they made their way to the Danger room. Rogue felt nervous but didn't expect Logan to act weird again out in the open, where anyone can see. So she felt better that Logan would probably behave himself as long as there was a chance that anyone could walk in on them.


	9. ch9: The Healing Touch

**Author's notes:** sorry it's taken me so long to post the new chapter people but I've been away for a week! Last chapter was by far my favourite chapter so far.. SO FAR out of the first 8 chapters! The next chapters just get better and better!

A few of you have been telling me how much you dislike 'evil Logan'.. well I'm a GINORMOUS Logan fan, but for the purpose of this story, I want you to hate him, wonder what's gotten into him, etc, and if that's how you guys feel, then I've done my job as a writer.. just wait until ya'll read THIS chapter! Don't forget to review!

oh! P.s. I got a review about using the word 'singlet' too many times. Here in Aust where I'm from, a camisole is one of those singlets u wear as underwear.. we actually do call them singlets and not camisoles.. so that's what word I'm gonna use! Sorry!

* * *

**Ch9: the healing touch**

Rogue sat up in the tower. The room was surrounded by windows that looked down into the Danger room. She sat in the desk chair with her feet up on the console. If Hank were there to see her, he would've told her off for daring to put her feet on such expensive equipment. She smiled to herself in the knowledge that Hank was not there, but in his bed because he was sick. Logan had been at it for almost two hours now. Rogue was glad that Logan was doing the full run of the simulation because she still didn't know what to do about him just yet.

Rogue had a pen and pad of paper in her lap and she stared at the monitors to her right. One monitor showed a video feed of Logan's actions within the danger room. The other had writing scrolling downwards with read outs of the program as Logan progressed to each level of difficulty. Rogue was looking out for any problems within the program. So far she only had a few notes down, but the new training program was up to par.

She was glad to finally have something to do to take her mind off the problems in her life. Even if it was for only a few minutes at a time, Rogue was able to properly focus on studying the program. But every few minutes, her problems would come back and torment her. She was still registering that Remy had come to her door with the bloodied singlet. She tried to comprehend that Remy had forgiven her for what she'd done. And she couldn't believe that Remy held her again, like he used to. She remembered the feel of his warmth around her as he hugged her. Rogue was in her own little world. She tried with all her might to hold onto the memory of being in Remy's arms. She had no idea where she stood with Remy. She had no idea if they were going to get back together, but Rogue knew they definitely wouldn't if she didn't break her ties with Logan first.

Rogue was brought back to reality when the door behind her slid open. "Oh hey, Rogue," Scott greeted.

Rogue turned her head to face Scott. "Hey, what's up?" She asked.

Scott sat down on another desk chair next to Rogue. He looked at the monitor that showed Logan in the Danger room. "I came to see how that new training program is going," he explained.

Rogue snorted. "More like, yah came tah watch it, so yah know what tah expect when Hank tries it on us," Rogue explained.

Scott let out a nervous giggle and rubbed the back of his head. "Is it that obvious?" He smiled.

Rogue nodded and smiled back. She handed Scott the pad of paper she had been writing on.

"What's this?" Scott asked, looking at the notes Rogue had written.

"Those are just some minor problems in the program that Hank needs tah fix. Go tah the next page. I took down some notes on what Hank's gonna surprise us with," Rogue explained. She smiled cheekily as Scott read through the notes.

"Oh! You're good!" Scott complimented as he read through the notes Rogue took down.

Just then, Kurt bamphed in and landed on Rogue. "Ack!" She squealed. Kurt surprised her and she couldn't help lifting her legs off the console in shock. "Ku-urt!" Rogue complained.

Kurt quickly realised where he'd landed and jumped off Rogue. "Oh! Sorry Rogue! I didn't mean to land on you!" Kurt apologised.

Rogue readjusted her clothing and returned her feet to the console. "It's okay."

Kurt ported himself so that he was now hanging upside-down from the roof. He read over the same notes Scott was looking at. "Vat's zis?"

Scott explained the notes Rogue had taken down.

"That's cheating!"

The three of them turned to see Jean standing in the doorway with her arms crossed.

"Relax, Jean," Scott smiled. "It's like studying for an exam! If we wanna do well, we have to study!"

Jean rolled her eyes and entered the room. She saw there were no more seats left in the room, so she sat on Scott's lap. Scott put an arm around his girlfriend and handed her the notes. "Well, I don't want to be left in the dark," She smiled as she read over the notes.

Kurt looked at the monitor with Logan in the danger room. "How long's he been at it?"

Rogue looked at her watch then at Kurt. "About two hours. He should be done soon." Then just as Rogue said that, the program stopped and Logan looked up at the control room Rogue and the others were sitting in.

"Rogue! Start up the next level!"

"Next level? Is he nuts!" Kurt exclaimed. "Why vould Hank make a program zat made us go at it for more zan two hours! Is he trying to kill us?"

Rogue took her feet off the console and grabbed the microphone. "That's it. There isn't another level," Rogue spoke through the microphone.

They all watched on the monitor as Logan dropped to the floor and rested. He had amazing healing abilities, but he too ran low on energy from time to time.

Rogue watched the monitor with dread. Logan had now finished his run and that meant she'd have to face him eventually.

Jean leaned closer to Rogue and showed her a word on the page she was reading. "What's this word?" Jean asked, unable to read Rogue's handwriting.

Rogue took her eyes off the monitor and looked at the page. "Jump," Rogue replied.

Jean nodded and resumed reading. Rogue turned her attentions back to the monitor, and gasped when she saw who had just entered the danger room.

The others quickly looked to see what had shocked Rogue. There at the doors of the Danger room was Remy. Scott and Kurt had no idea why it was shocking to Rogue, but they figured maybe it had something to do with Remy and Rogue's break up. Jean understood completely why Rogue was shocked. Rogue wasn't shocked that she'd seen Remy, it was the fact that Remy had approached Logan, which shocked her.

'They'll rip each other to shreds!'

They couldn't hear what Remy was saying to Logan, but they all watched the screen intently.

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Logan heard the doors open and saw that it was Remy that had come in. He stood and crossed his arms, "What do you want, Cajun?"

"Just a little chat," Remy smirked.

Logan looked at the young Cajun before him. Remy was in his track pants and his tight black T-shirt. It's what he usually wore when he trained in the danger room. Logan snorted at Remy's reply. "Something tells me you didn't just come here to talk."

Remy smirked. "You're right." Remy walked away from the doorway and into the room, allowing the doors to close behind him. "Remy really wanted to let out some steam in here. But since you're here, with no one else around, Remy might as well get some things off his chest."

Logan nodded. "Fire away," He replied. He figured that Remy would know about his relationship with Rogue and he was surprised it took the Cajun this long to confront him about it.

Remy stood silent for a minute. He had no idea how to approach the subject and even though he'd had this conversation with Logan hundreds of times in his head, Remy had no idea where to start. But somehow a single word escaped his lips. "Why?" Remy asked.

"Why what?" Logan asked back. He knew that Remy was nervous, and it made him feel like he had the upper hand over the Cajun.

Remy saw Logan's smile and it pissed him off. "Why did you.. do _that_.. to Rogue?" Remy replied. He couldn't bring himself to say the words 'sleep with'.

Logan however, had no problem with it. "What? Sleep with her?" Logan smirked. Remy nodded in response. "It takes two to tango, Cajun."

Remy balled his fists. He was mad at Logan's response. He hated how Logan implied that Rogue wanted it. "But you should have known better than to sleep with a student!"

Logan saw that Remy was getting mad. "She's a big girl. And it's none of your business what goes on between Rogue and I," Logan replied calmly.

Remy was mad. Remy wanted Logan to know how much he despised how Logan could ever touch his girl like that. He wanted to start pummelling Logan right there and then, but he had more to say. "She may have been drunk when it happened, but we all know you can hold your liquor a lot better than her. You should have stopped anything before it happened!" Remy growled. Rogue's memories of that night flooded Remy's mind. He felt how violated and angry Rogue felt after she woke up the next morning. And Remy felt it was up to him to put Logan in his place. "She hates you for what you've done! And she hates herself even more!"

Logan uncrossed his arms and took a single step closer to Remy. "How dare you. You know all this started because _you_ broke up with her. You should have seen the state you left the poor girl in after you left. You didn't even have the decency to give her an explanation for why you were leaving! You walked out on her so what she does with her life now is _none_ of your concern!" Logan growled back.

"But it is my concern," Remy explained. "That day Magneto asked me and the acolytes to attack the X-men, Rogue gave me her memories of that night you.. you.. did that to her!" Remy yelled.

Logan was taken back. He knew Remy knew about his sleeping with Rogue, but he didn't know that Remy actually had Rogue's memories of that night. He was speechless.

Remy took the opportunity and kept verbally abusing Logan. "She would never touch you with a 40 foot pole! She only did it because she was alone and sad."

"And _who's_ fault was that, huh?" Logan cut Remy off. He crossed his arms again. "You have _no_ respect for Rogue. If you care about her so much and for her feelings, then why did you bring home that broad last night!"

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Rogue leaned closer to the screen and nervously played with her lip. She watched Remy and Logan like a hawk. At the first sign of trouble she was going to get her ass down there and break it up.

"Argh! I vish ve could hear vat zey vere saying!" Kurt complained. Rogue was glad that they couldn't hear anything because she didn't want the others to know about her and Logan. But at the same time, she also wanted to know what the boys were saying to each other.

"It looks like Remy's confronting Logan about something?" Jean commented. She looked at Rogue, but Rogue didn't react to Jean's comment.

"I wonder what they could be arguing about?" Scott commented.

"Vell whatever it is, looks like Remy's mad at Logan for somezing!" Kurt exclaimed. "Should I go get us some popcorn?"

Kurt abandoned that idea when Scott slapped him on the back of the head.

---------------------------------

"_I_ have no respect for her? Look in the mirror!" Remy replied. Remy cocked his head and raised an eyebrow at Logan. "You love her don't you?"

Logan snorted. "Like I said, it's none of your business!"

"When Rogue accidentally gave me her memories, I was, and still am, disgusted with both you and her. But I know she only did it because I left her. She doesn't love you, Wolverine. And you took advantage of her. It is _you_ that has no respect for her." Remy yelled.

Logan was hurt by Remy's words. "That night was a long time ago. She's not guilty anymore. She knows that you're an asshole and it's not worth thinking about you anymore."

"Then why did Rogue and I have a nice little heart to heart this morning?" Remy asked. He smirked. He wanted to get Logan jealous. It was getting very personal now. "You're just the rebound guy and you know it. She can't love you when she still in love with Remy." Remy looked up and saw Rogue and the others in the lookout. Somehow he'd known all this time she was there. Logan looked up to see what Remy was looking at. Rogue was nervous and she had no idea what to make of the argument that was taking place.

Logan looked back at Remy. "I know you're just doing it to make me mad, boy. I know you were with another girl last night- I can smell her all over you. So don't act like you still love Rogue."

"It's not an act. I really do love her," Remy explained. Remy figured he'd had enough talking, as he thought he wasn't going to get through to Logan. Logan was in denial, no doubt about it. Remy reached behind him and grasped the metal baton he had tucked into the back of his track pants. He pressed the button on the side and the rod lengthened itself and turned into his long staff.

Logan smirked when he saw Remy get ready to fight. The staff was made of adamantium, and Remy only used it when he was fighting with Logan because it was the only thing worth using to defend himself. "Are you proposing we fight it out, boy?"

Remy spun the staff around. "Don't call me boy. The name's Remy. And yes, Remy thinks we should fight it out. Remy got a lot of anger to get out. No doubt you do too, old man."

Logan smiled. He'd been waiting to get his hands on Remy for quite a while. He felt like fighting Remy would help the two of them choose who deserves Rogue. It may have been a thing of the olden times, but Logan felt it was necessary. He uncrossed his arms and held his arms to his sides, his blade slowly unleashing themselves from his knuckles. Logan smiled when he saw the fear in Remy's eyes, though only for a second before Remy' smirk returned.

--------------------------------------------

"Uh, guys. Vy does zis fight look more serious than ze ones zey usually have?" Kurt asked, looking worriedly at the others.

Scott nodded. "Yeah, they look like they're about to fully battle it out," Scott commented.

'That's because they are,' Rogue thought to herself. She played with her lip nervously and her eyes never left the screen.

Jean looked at Rogue. She didn't know exactly why Remy had initiated a fight with Logan, but she knew it had to do with Rogue.

The four of them watched intently as Remy made the first move and tried to hit Logan with his staff. Logan didn't usually practice with his adamantium claws out, no matter which X-man he was training with. And the fact that he had them out made Kurt, Scott, Jean and especially Rogue all the more anxious.

Logan took a swipe at Remy's stomach with his claws. Thankfully Remy jumped backwards and sucked his stomach in. The claws ripped his black t-shirt and there was now three slices in the front of his shirt.

"Oh my God!" Jean called out. "Did you see how close that was?" Jean squealed.

Scott pushed Jean off his lap and he stood up. "This is getting serious. We have to go stop that fight before one of them gets seriously hurt," Scott explained.

Kurt ported off the roof and ported himself next to Scott. "Yeah man. Let's stop zis before Remy gets sliced up," Kurt corrected him.

Rogue didn't move. He heard what the boys had said, but she didn't dare take her eyes off the screen. Jean noticed that Rogue hadn't replied. Jean put her hand on Rogue's shoulder, but Rogue didn't look at her. Instead, Rogue showed Jean that she acknowledged her presence with a grunt, "Hn?"

Jean stood up. "Rogue, we have to go stop the fight before-" Jen was suddenly cut off by Rogue.

"Remy!" Rogue screamed. She got up from her seat and ran to the windows to look down into the Danger room. The others looked at the screen to see what Rogue's outburst was about. And there it was. What they had all been dreading.

"He.. He.." Kurt began, but was too dumbfounded to speak.

They saw Logan had stabbed Remy in the stomach with his adamantinum claws. Remy and Logan stood motionless. Logan's face was full of anger, and almost animalistic. Remy's eyes were wide with the sheer realisation that he would soon die. Slowly, Logan retracted his claws and Remy's body fell to the floor.

Rogue ran from the window to Kurt. She grabbed him by the shoulders and cried, "Kurt, get me down there NOW!"

Kurt nodded and ported himself and Rogue down to the Danger room.

Scott and Jean stood in shock. After Kurt ported himself and Rogue away, Jean explained, "We have to tell the professor!"

-------------------------------

Logan had realised what he'd done and was standing in such shock that he didn't realise Kurt and Rogue porting into the danger room.

As soon as they reached the Danger room, Rogue ran to Remy's side. He was lying on his back, with his hands over his punctured stomach. Blood had begun to pool around him and all over his stomach and hands. Rogue knelt at his side and put a hand under his head and the other on top of his own hands. She felt his warm blood seeping into her pants as the blood pooled around her legs. "Remy!" She cried. Even though right after their break up she'd wished the worst on Remy, she never wished for him to die. She lifted his hands off the wound so she could get a better look. "Oh mah God, Remy! We've gotta get yah to ah hospital!"

Remy looked up at Rogue. He tried to speak, but it only made more blood gurgle from his mouth. He wanted to tell her he still loved her and that he was sorry for everything, but he didn't have the strength. His vision was starting to blur and his body was getting colder. Things didn't look good for Remy right now.

Kurt stood shocked. He didn't know how to comprehend that his friend was dying right before his eyes and he couldn't do anything to save him. Kurt was angry that he couldn't do anything for Remy. He turned and glared at Logan. It was Logan's fault this happened. Logan was the one who stabbed Remy. Logan was supposed to be at the mansion to protect the students, not kill them. "How could you do zis?" Kurt yelled at Logan. "He's gonna die and it's all your fault!"

Logan looked over at Kurt with wide eyes. "It.. it was an accident."

"Iz zat all you have to say? Vhat did he do to make you stab him!" Kurt ran at Logan and wrapped his tail around Logan's wrist. "I should port you somewhere far far-"

"No Kurt!" Rogue yelled. She held her hand out at Kurt in s stop motion. "We need him," Rogue explained. Rogue lay Remy's head back on the ground and removed her hands from his body. She then got up and walked over to Logan.

"Kurt, move your tail," Rogue instructed. Kurt nodded and removed his tail from Logan's wrist.

Logan had a feeling he knew what was coming next. They'd done it many a time when Rogue was seriously injured. And it was one of the few things that Logan actually feared. He hated the feelings of weakness and helplessness that came with it. But given the situation, he had to face his fears one more time. "Rogue," Logan said, unsure of how he was going to explain what had happened.

"Shut up," Rogue replied harshly. She quickly grabbed Logan's wrist and began absorbing him. Logan howled in agony as Rogue absorbed his healing abilities. She tried to concentrate on absorbing only his mutant abilities because that's all she needed. But a few memories of the last couple of hours still entered her mind.

Logan dropped to his knees as his energy left him. Usually, this is where Rogue would let him go, but this time she didn't.

Rogue knew she should have to let him go, but something made her want to keep holding onto him until his heart stopped.

"Rogue! Let him go! You're going to kill him!" Kurt yelled.

It was Kurt's voice which brought Rogue back to reality and she let Logan's arm go. Logan's body fell limp on the ground and Kurt ran to his side. He checked for Logan's pulse. "He's still alive.. Barely," Kurt explained.

Rogue didn't care about Logan at that moment. She only cared about saving Remy. She turned to Remy and crouched next to his body, like she did only moments earlier. "Remy, I'm going to pass Logan's healing abilities to you," She explained. Remy's eyes fluttered and were struggling to remain open. "Remy? Remy!" Rogue called out. She realised she had to act fast and even though she'd only done this once before by accident, she prayed that her plan would work.

Rogue put her hand under Remy's head again to support him and her other hand on top of his. She concentrated not on absorbing him, but on passing her energy and Logan's powers to Remy.

Slowly, Remy felt his body growing strong again. His light-headedness was going away and breathing was becoming easier again. He felt the pain in his stomach slowly go away as his wounds began to heal themselves. He looked up at Rogue. Her eyes were closed and he could tell she was concentrating on healing him. Remy could sense new memories in his mind, and he knew they came from both Rogue and Logan. He recalled the fight through Logan's eyes as well as through Rogue's eyes. He felt the pain in Rogue's chest when she saw him get stabbed by Logan. And he felt her sorrow when she held his dying body.

"Rogue," Remy said as he felt his body return to normal. Rogue's eyes were still closed. "Rogue?" He repeated, trying to get her attention. Finally, Rogue's eyes opened and she let go of his hand.

She looked at Remy but her eyes looked weak. "Remy?" She smiled. Rogue was happy to see Remy was alive but she felt her body was too weak to hold herself up. She felt her body fall backwards and her eyes unable to remain open.

"Rogue!" Remy called out as saw Rogue was about to faint. He quickly reached out and wrapped his arms around her before she could fall onto the floor. He pulled her towards him and hugged her. Her head rested on his shoulder. Remy whispered in her ear, "Thank you," But he wasn't sure if she was able to hear him.

"Remy!" Kurt smiled. "I can't believe zat worked!" He exclaimed. He looked at Rogue. "Is she alright?"

Remy nodded. "Just out of energy," Remy explained. "Port him to the infirmary and I'll carry Rogue," Remy instructed, glaring at the unconscious Logan.

Kurt nodded and wrapped his tail around Logan's wrist again. "You sure you don't vant me to port you too?"

Remy shook his head. "Nah. I'll carry her."

Kurt nodded and ported out of the Danger room, leaving Remy and Rogue alone.

Remy returned his gaze to Rogue's unconscious face. "You're a hero, Rogue." Remy wrapped one arm under her legs and stood up so that he was carrying Rogue. There was blood all over the two of them. There was blood still on Remy's cheeks and it was also dripping down his bloodied and ripped top. Also a lot was dripping from Rogue's bloodied track pants and it was all over their arms.

With all the extra energy and healing powers Rogue passed onto him, Remy felt well enough to carry her to the infirmary. He made his way to the doors, but before he could reach them, they opened. In came Jean, Scott and the professor.

"Oh my God!" Jean exclaimed. "You're not dead! What happened to Rogue?" Jean asked. When they went to go get the professor, Jean explained that Remy was dying, but now that they've entered the danger room, Rogue was limp in Remy's arms and there was blood all over the two of them. Rogue and Remy looked like a couple of extras on the set of a bloody horror flick, with the amount of blood all over them!

"Remy will explain on the way to the infirmary," Remy replied. "Right now, Rogue needs more help than Remy."

The professor nodded and they quickly made their way to the infirmary. Remy lied and told the Professor how he and Logan had gotten into an argument and that their practice session became a little more heated than usual. He then however, told the truth about how Kurt and Rogue had come to his rescue.

_I am  
Little bit of loneliness  
A little bit of disregard  
A handful of complaints  
But I can't help the fact  
That everyone can see these scars  
I am  
What I want you to want  
What I want you to feel  
But it's like  
No matter what I do  
I can't convince you  
To just believe this is real  
So I let go  
Watching you  
Turn your back like you always do  
Face away and pretend that i'm not  
But i'll be here  
'Cause you're all I got_

_(Linkin Park – Faint)_

--------------------------------------------

Remy walked into his bathroom and switched on the light. Rogue had been out cold for about half an hour now. Hank checked her out and said that Rogue should be fine and that all she needed was to rest for the time being. Remy took the opportunity to go clean himself up. Jean and Kitty offered to clean Rogue up and Remy knew Rogue would be left in good hands.

He looked in the mirror and almost scared himself. There was blood everywhere. No wonder Jean freaked out when she first saw him holding Rogue in the danger room. Blood covered his chin and his cheeks. His top was ripped in the centre and there was dried blood all over his lean stomach and all over his arms. His top was still soaked in blood and there was more dripping from his pants. The amount of blood that covered him was scary. It made Remy wonder just how close to death he was before Rogue saved him.

"You saved me, Chere. Now let Remy save you."

Remy turned on the shower and began undressing himself of his bloodied garments. He stepped into the shower and let the warm water wash away all the blood from his body.

He tried to remember the moments where Rogue passed on her own energy and Logan's healing ability. Remy's mind had filled with random memories and thoughts. But there was one thought that stuck out more than all the rest. It was one of Rogue's thoughts.

"_I wish I never slept with Logan that night. Don't die, Remy, because I love you."_


	10. ch10: This Anxiety

**Author's notes:** oritey people.. next chapter! It's mainly around rogue and remy, so enjoy! Next chapter in a week! Oh! And don't forge to review! I love reading about how you guys like/dislike things in the chapters!

**Ch10: This anxiety..**

Rogue opened her eyes and found that she was in the infirmary. The room had silver metallic walls and there was one lamp on in the corner. She felt like she'd woken from a sleep, but her memories quickly returned and she remembered healing Remy.

"Remy!" Rogue called out as she quickly sat up. It was then she realised Remy was sitting on her left bedside, cleaned up and reading a magazine.

"Remy here, Chere!" Remy reassured her. He put his hand on hers, but after a split second, he felt her skin was absorbing him so he quickly removed his hand. "Whoah!"

Rogue sat up and turned so she was facing Remy. "Sorry. Ah dunno why that happened," She explained as she examined her hand.

"Maybe your body started absorbing Remy because yo' still out of energy?" Remy suggested.

"Maybe," She shrugged. She then concentrated on not absorbing. "Okay ah think ah've turned it off now," Rogue explained. She held out her hand towards Remy and he took it. Nothing happened.

"Your control is getting better, petite." Remy smiled. He started rubbing the back of her hand with his thumb. "Thanks for saving Remy." Remy couldn't believe he and Rogue were back on talking terms. Things felt almost back to normal for him. But deep down he knew the two of them had things to work out before they ever get properly back together. And Remy _wanted_ to get back together with Rogue.

Rogue looked into Remy's demon eyes. She'd almost lost her friend. Her first boyfriend. Her love. The memories of what happened in the danger room flooded her mind and she started to cry. "Ah almost lost yah, swamp rat!" Rogue cried. She tried to pull her hand free from Remy so she could wipe her eyes, but instead, Remy got up off his chair and sat himself on the bed next to Rogue. He put his arms around her and let her cry into his shoulder.

"Don't cry, Chere. Remy still here. You saved him," Remy said softly.

Rogue didn't think of herself as a hero and she wasn't really comfortable with receiving such praise. She decided to change the subject. Rogue looked up at Remy. "How long have ah been out?"

"About two hours. The professor said that you probably gave away too much of your own energy when you tried t' heal me. But you did a real number on Wolverine though. He'll be out for a while longer."

Rogue remembered how she almost wanted to kill Logan. She was ready to and if it wasn't for Kurt yelling at her, she probably would have killed him. She felt horrible for wanting to kill someone. She didn't like remembering that feeling she had when all she had to do was hold on a little longer for Logan's heart to stop. Rogue sat silently in Remy's arms. She was in her own little world. 'Oh God, I'm a bad person!' She thought to herself.

"Hey," Remy said. Rogue didn't look at him. He held her face and turned her face so that she was looking at him. "What's wrong?"

Rogue didn't know if it was wise to tell Remy. But her mind felt so numb, her lips didn't seem to agree with her brain. "Remy, ah almost killed Logan," Rogue explained. Her voice was soft, as if she were afraid of anyone finding out.

"I know. After I took you to the infirmary, Hank said that if you'd held on any longer, you could have killed Logan," Remy explained.

"No, that's not what ah mean!" Rogue groaned, getting off the bed. She then realised she was wearing different clothes to what she had on that morning. She then realised that anyone changing her would have seen her arm and the cuts on it.

Remy saw that Rogue was looking at the clothes she had on. She now wore a long sleeved green top and different track pants. He saw her look at her left arm and he knew what she was afraid of. "The cuts healed themselves when you absorbed him. When Jean and Kitty changed your clothes, they didn't see any cuts." He explained.

Rogue was shocked that Remy realised she didn't want anyone to see the cuts, which meant he knew they were self-inflicted. She lifted her sleeve and saw the cuts had healed themselves. It was as if she never cut herself to begin with. She was glad that Remy checked it out before letting Jean and Kitty change her. "Thanks."

"You were saying?"

"Oh yeah. When ah said ah almost killed Logan, ah meant that when ah was absorbing his energy, ah had no intention of letting go," Rogue explained. She had no idea how Remy was going to react to what she'd said. She didn't know if he'd be glad that Logan could have died, or disappointed that Rogue was capable of it. Something about her feared what Remy had to think about her actions. For some reason, her mind kept flashing back to the moment when Logan had her pinned against the wall in her room.

Remy stood from the bed and Rogue took a step back. Remy noticed Rogue move back and it saddened him. 'What did she expect me to do to her?' He asked himself. A move like that meant something had happened to her to fear him, or guys in general. 'What did Logan do to her to make her so afraid?' He thought to himself. Then Remy figured he better get back on topic. "But you _did_ let go.."

"Only because Kurt yelled at me. If Kurt wasn't there ah don't think ah would have let go. Ah could feel it, Remy. Ah could feel his heart slowing down. Ah wanted him tah die," tears began to well up in Rogue's eyes. She could see Remy's reaction to what she was saying. He took another step closer to her in an attempt to comfort her, but when he saw Rogue take another step back, he stopped in his tracks. "Ah wanted him tah die!" Rogue sobbed. "Ah want him out of my life," Rogue said a little louder. "Ah want him dead," Her voice was getting louder and more desperate. Then she finally yelled, "Ah want him gone so my life can go back tah normal!"

"Chere," Remy said compassionately. He had no idea what was running through her mind, but he imagined it wasn't pretty. It hurt him that he couldn't do anything to help her.

Rogue took another step back and her back hit the wall. She slid down the wall and crouched on the ground. "Ah just want it all to go back to normal!" She screamed. "Ah wish you never left. And ah wish he never took me out for my birthday. And ah wish ah never let myself fuck my life up. Ah wish ah killed him," Rogue bowed her head and brought her hands up to cover the sides of her head.

Remy was really worried with the vision before him. Rogue was a mess and he had no idea how to makes things better for her.

"Ah want to die.." Rogue mumbled to herself. She didn't care if Remy was in the room anymore. He already knew she was cutting herself so why not let him know how messed up she was.

Remy took a step closer towards Rogue. She seemed to stop responding to how close he was and so he took another step, and another, until he sat himself down against the wall, next to Rogue.

He put his hand on her shoulder. After the way she'd reacted to him only moments earlier, he didn't expect Rogue to turn and hug him. They sat quietly on the floor and hugged one another. The only sounds came from Rogue's sobbing.

"Shh.. Everything will be okay. Remy will make it okay.."

Just then, the door slid open. It was Hank and the Professor. They were a little shocked to see Rogue and Remy on the floor, but they came in quietly anyway.  
"Rogue?" The professor asked. Rogue detached herself from Remy and stood. Remy followed suit. "Are you alright," he asked, seeing she had been crying.

Rogue nodded. Remy figured Rogue wouldn't be in the mood to talk, so he replied for her, "Just a little stressed out after what's just happened."

The professor nodded. "It was a very noble thing you did, Rogue," the professor commended.

Rogue nodded but she didn't feel like she deserved any praise. She almost killed Logan and that wasn't worth any praise. She tried to change the topic. "Mr McCoy, ah thought you were sick?"

Hank looked like hell. His eyes were puffy and his nose was running. "I am. But the sudden emergency required that I get out of bed," he explained. "Now I'd like to check your heartbeat if you don't mind."

Rogue hopped back on the bed and let Hank check her heartbeat. "So what did ah miss?" She asked.

"Well you gave Kurt, Jean and Scott quite a scare when they found out you'd passed out. Let's just say all the blood that covered Remy and yourself made them think that your situation was a lot worse than it actually was. Logan's still unconscious in the other room. Kurt told me how you held on to Logan a little longer than you usually do," the professor explained, raising an eyebrow. Rogue didn't know what the professor thought about that or if he _knew_ she wanted to kill him. "But Kurt did say that if it was him that were in your place, he'd probably do the same. No doubt your first thought was on saving Remy and all of you were shocked with Logan's behaviour," The professor explained.

Rogue wondered if the professor knew her holding onto Logan just that little bit longer had to do with her relationship with Logan.

"Well, it seems that you've returned to your normal self," Hank explained as he placed his stethoscope on the bench behind him.

"I'd like to check on Logan one more time, then return to bed," Hank explained. The professor nodded and then Hank left the room.

The professor returned his gaze to Rogue and Remy. "You two were very lucky today," He said to them. Remy and Rogue both nodded and then the professor left.

After the door closed behind the professor, Remy put a hand on Rogue's shoulder. "We were very lucky."

-------------------------------------

Rogue and Remy left the ward soon after the professor and they made their way to the rec room. Jean, Scott, Kurt and Kitty were sitting on the couches talking quietly amongst themselves. It was Kurt that spotted them coming in first.

"Rogue!" Kurt exclaimed. He ported himself across the room so that he was standing right in front of Rogue and then hugged her. Right behind him were the others. They all joined in the hug and pretty soon, it turned into on giant group hug. Remy watched on but didn't expect Kitty to pull him into it too. Rogue was a little taken back with all the sudden physical contact from Kurt and the others. She still hadn't really gotten used to it after she got control over her powers.

After a moment, they all let Rogue go and stood around her and Remy. "Like, Kurt told us all about how you saved Remy!" Kitty squealed.

"Yeah! I've never seen anyzing like it!" Kurt smiled. "You and Remy really had us scared! Zere was so much blood!"

Rogue shrugged. "Seriously guys, it was nothing," Rogue replied humbly. She really didn't think she needed to be praised so much.

"Nothing!" Jean replied. "You should get a medal for what you did!"

Remy put an arm around Rogue. He could see she wasn't used to so much attention. "Now now guys. You can get your autographs later," he joked.

"Come on Rogue. In celebration of you like, saving Remy's life and all, let's all go out for ice-cream!" Kitty suggested. Everyone agreed and they all headed out the door.

---------------------------------------

After returning from their escapade at the ice-cream shop then down to the local pool hall, the senior X-men made their way into the rec room.

"Like, Kurt! You are so dead!" Kitty squealed, chasing Kurt around the pool table.

"Those two need to get a room," Scott joked. "When are they going to realise they both like each other?" He sighed, flopping onto the couch. Jean rolled her eyes and sat down next to her boyfriend.

Rogue stood in the doorway. Remy continued walking into the room but after a second, he realised that Rogue wasn't right behind him anymore. He stopped walking towards the couches and turned to face Rogue. "Are ya comin', Chere?"

Rogue really wanted to spend more time with Remy. When they were out for ice-cream, things were like old times. The group was whole again and neither of them acted weird around each other. But Rogue knew that things couldn't go back to normal between herself and Remy. They had too much to sort out first and just ignoring what had happened to them in the past months wouldn't be healthy. She also had to figure out what to say to Logan when he woke up. Rogue didn't want to bring her hopes up that Remy and her would get back together. After all, Remy never mentioned it and Rogue figured maybe he wanted to remain close friends.

"Nah," Rogue replied. "Ah think ah'm gonna hit the sack," She explained.

"But it's only eight-thirty, Chere," Remy replied. "Don't tell Remy you're gonna sleep now?"

Rogue shrugged. She really needed to think about things and she couldn't do that with them all around her. "Ah'm probably gonna read," She lied.

Remy nodded. He took Rogue's hand and lifted it to his lips and kissed the back of her hand. "Okay, Chere. Goodnight," Remy smiled.

"Night!" Scott called out.

"Good night, Rogue!" Jean also called out.

Kurt and Kitty were too busy chasing each other to notice Rogue leave the room.

---------------------------------

Rogue entered her bedroom and locked the door. She walked over to the bed and lay down on it. She was lucky today. She was lucky that the others didn't hear a word that Remy said to Logan and she was lucky that she was able to save Remy. Even though she couldn't hear what Remy had told Logan, she now knew what really happened. When she absorbed Logan, she also absorbed a lot of his memories over previous few hours. She knew everything Remy told Logan and her heart fluttered. She was happy to hear that Remy still loved her and that there might be hope for the two of them. She also felt how possessive Logan got over her and it scared her.

'I should have killed him. I want my life back. What would have happened if I killed him? I'm a bad person!' Rogue thought to herself.

She rolled off the bed and walked over to the bathroom. She was disgusted with herself for even thinking about killing Logan. He was her mentor and one of her first friends. But then she'd remember how horrible she felt the morning she woke up naked in Logan's truck. She was angry with him for not stopping her before they slept together. She hated herself for allowing herself to sleep with him in the first place. But she wondered if killing Logan would really have solved all her problems. Killing him wouldn't have gotten rid of her memories of sleeping with him. Killing him wouldn't have stopped Remy from sleeping with the blonde bimbo. And killing Logan probably would have alienated her from her own friends.

She turned on the light in the bathroom. She leaned her hands on the edges of the basin and looked in the mirror. She couldn't believe that she was about to kill Logan. She could feel his heartbeat slowing down and it scared her how much the feeling of having power over someone else's life thrilled her. For the few moments she contemplated killing Logan, she enjoyed it. She enjoyed the power it brought her and the feeling of being free from him forever.

'I'm so fucked up.'

Rogue bowed her head and saw it. The bloodied razor was sitting in the basin. She never got around to cleaning it the both times she used it.

'Ah'm a bad person. Ah'm a bad person. Ah'm a bad person.'

Rogue picked it up and wiped it with the towel that sat on top of her laundry chute. She then sat herself down on lid of the laundry chute and placed her left forearm over the basin.

'Ah'm a bad person. Ah'm the one who has to die. It's all mah fault. Ah'm the bad guy.'

Rogue pressed the blade to her skin and winced in pain when she felt the skin break. She pulled the blade and cut a line into her arm, careful not to make it too deep. She didn't want anyone else to find out because she had bloody laundry again.

The blood ran out of her arm like small streams. She closed her eyes and rolled her head back. But this time she didn't feel like the cut was enough to make all her feelings of hollowness and guilt go away. Rogue looked at her right hand. She was still holding the blade. She then watched her hand move the blade so that it was positioned over her left forearm, ready to make a second incision. Her mind felt so numb that she felt like it wasn't even her that made the blade cut across her skin a second time. She groaned in pain and dropped the blade. The second cut hurt more than the first.

'Ah'm a bad person. Why would Remy ever want tah get back together with me. Ah'm fucked up. Ah'm a bad person. Ah almost became a killer. Why would he want tah get back together with me when there are better girls out there?'

Rogue placed her right arm on the edge of the basin. She then lay her head down on top of her right arm and watched the blood flow from her left. She could feel her eyes growing tired. Her troubles were leaving her, at least for the moment, as she watched the blood pour down the sink.

'Remy could never love me.'

---------------------------------------------

"Rogue? You in there?"

Rogue opened her eyes and found that she'd fallen asleep over the basin. Her arm had dried blood all over it and the sink was filled with the crimson liquid.

There was a knock at the door. "Rogue?"

Rogue stood up and picked up the towel she was sitting on. She wrapped it around her bloodied arm and then made her way to her bedroom door.

"Rogue? Are you awake?" It was Remy. "It's three in the afternoon!"

'Holy shit!' Rogue thought to herself. 'I slept that long?' She thought to herself. She figured she slept extra hours so her body could have time to make up for the loss of blood.

"What do yah want, Remy!" Rogue called out through the door. The last thing she wanted was for him to see she'd resumed cutting herself. And she didn't really know what his intentions really were at the moment. He seemed genuinely concerned for her, but she wasn't sure if it was because he wanted to be her friend again or if he still loved her or if he only saw her as a damsel in distress.

"Remy want t' talk to you, Chere!" Remy called out through the door. Rogue watched the doorknob jiggle. Remy had tried to open the door, only to find it locked. "Can I come in?"

Rogue panicked. How was she going to have time to clean up the blood? "No," was all she could think of. She then looked into her bathroom and saw her shower. "Ah'm just about to jump in the shower!" She lied. Rogue heard a thud. Something had hit her door.

Remy thud his head against the door and leaned his body on it. "You're naked, Chere?"

"Maybe.." Rogue lied.

"Are you sure Remy can't come in?" Remy couldn't help himself. He wanted things to go back to normal between himself and Rogue and he couldn't help making a flirty comment at her, just like old times.

Rogue rolled her eyes. She missed how he would flirt with her and how she would tease him back. They'd been at it for years. "Ah'm sure, ya pervert!" Rogue teased.

Remy tried the door once more, just in case, but still found it locked. "Okay, fine. But Remy a little disappointed that he couldn't see your fine body," He called out. "Meet me in the garage afterwards, okay?"

Rogue's stomach fluttered. Oh God, how much she missed this. She loved the attention Remy gave her. And now it looked like things might turn around for her. She figured that she and Remy needed to talk things out anyway, so why not meet him after. "Okay."

Remy smiled to himself. "Don't take too long!"

Rogue snorted. "Ah think ah'll make yah wait just for the hell of it!" Rogue laughed to herself before heading back to her bathroom. She figured she might as well have a shower and clean up the blood on her arm.

As soon as Rogue's arm was hit with the warm water, she groaned in pain. The cuts hurt like hell. "Mother fucker!" She growled to herself.

-----------------------------------

Rogue made her way down to the garage. Her arm was throbbing but she was glad that it wasn't bleeding anymore. The throbbing made her feel alive and that she wasn't just an empty shell that couldn't feel. But then again, she wasn't sure if that feeling was caused by Remy wanting to meet with her and not because of her arm.

'I wonder what he wants to talk about?' Rogue thought to herself. She had made it down the hallway and about to walk down the staircase towards the front door, when she saw Kurt walking towards her.

"Hey Rogue."

Rogue stopped walking and let Kurt reach her. "Hey Kurt. What's going on?"

"Nozing," He replied. Kurt looked like he was trying to say something that had been on his mind for a while. "I.. I just vanted to see if you ver okay.."

Rogue shrugged. She had no idea why he was asking her that but she figured maybe it had to do with her fainting the day before. "Ah'm fine. Why?"

Kurt began to fidget with his fingers, which he only did when he was nervous. "Vell, yesterday you kinda scared me a little," he explained.

"What do yah mean? Ah was scared too. We almost lost Remy," Rogue explained. She had no idea what Kurt was on about.

"Vhen you vere holding onto Logan," Kurt began. He looked almost too chicken to continue. "Your eyes looked scary.. Like you wanted Logan to die."

Rogue was stunned. She couldn't believe that Kurt had seen it, even if it was for a few seconds. At that moment, she was glad that she didn't kill Logan. She was afraid of what Kurt thought of her from just the look in her eyes. She didn't want to know what he'd think of her if she _did_ kill him. "Ah didn't want him tah die," Rogue lied. "Ah dunno what was going on. All ah remember is ah wanted to save Remy. Remy was hurt real bad and ah wanted tah use all the healing abilities from Logan that ah could," she explained. "Ah didn't mean tah hold on that long.."

Kurt nodded. "I know you vanted to save Remy. I probably vould've done the same. But I saw how pissed off you vere and I gotta say, it scared me a little," he explained.

Rogue felt bad. She didn't want to lose Kurt's trust. She didn't want him to be there and witness her killing.. no.. her _nearly_ killing Logan. She had to try convince him she wasn't really going to kill Logan. "Ah didn't mean tah scare yah, Kurt. Ah'm sorry if ah did. Hank said Logan should recover pretty soon anyway. As soon as he gets enough energy back, his healing abilities should kick in," Rogue explained. Even though what she said was intended to reassure Kurt, she scared herself with the realisation that Logan would wake up soon.

"Yah, I guess you're right," Kurt replied. "Vell I vas going to check up on him now. Vanna come?" Kurt asked.

Rogue stiffened at the mention of seeing Logan. "Ah… No thanks."

Kurt guessed that she reacted that way because she felt bad about absorbing so much from Logan. "I know you probably don't vant to see him because you feel bad about vhat you did to him, but at least come see how he is to show you didn't mean it," Kurt insisted. He linked his arm around Rogue's and began leading her down the hallway that led to the infirmary.

"But ah gotta meet.." Rogue began to protest but it was too late. Next thing she knew, Kurt had ported them inside the ward Logan was in. 'Oh Boy..'

The professor was there too, reading a large thick novel. He looked up when he saw Kurt and Rogue had ported into Logan's ward. "Hi, Professor," Kurt greeted. Rogue stood silently. She really didn't want to be there and she began to feel extremely anxious.

'What am ah going tah do if Logan wakes up!' She thought to herself. 'Logan's gonna kill me!' She was never afraid of Logan. But after the stunt he pulled in her room, she had no idea what to expect from him anymore. She was definitely afraid of Logan now.

The professor felt a chill run down his spine and he quickly looked up at Rogue. Rogue realised that the professor must have sensed something from her and her eyes widened in panic. "Rogue," The professor asked, closing his book and placing it in his lap. "Is everything okay?"

Rogue didn't know what to say. She couldn't exactly tell the professor she feared for her life because she thinks Logan's turned into a loonie! Thankfully, Kurt, the big motor mouth came to her rescue and but in. "She just feels bad because she almost killed Logan."

The professor didn't seem to buy Kurt's explanation, but Rogue saw him nod anyway. Rogue couldn't handle it anymore. Her heart began to race and she felt like the room was spinning. She guessed she was having an anxiety attack. She really didn't want to be in the same room as Logan when he woke up. She had never felt that sort of fear for her life since she and Scott were stranded during the snow trip and Mystique had morphed into a wolf, ready to kill them!

"Ah gotta go!" Rogue exclaimed and ran out the door.

The professor sensed Rogue's fear and her anxiety. He didn't truly understand why she felt that way, but he did know she only felt afraid when she looked at Logan.

"Kurt," The professor said to get Kurt's attention. "If you don't mind, I'd rather no one visited Logan until he wakes up," The professor explained. Kurt nodded, not sure of why the professor said it. He knew better than to question the professor and so he ported out of the infirmary, leaving the professor alone with Logan.

-------------------------------------

Rogue ran straight to her bedroom. In all her anxiety, she'd forgotten that she was meant to meet Remy. When she reached her bedroom, she found the door wide open. Her mind ran back to the night she found Logan angry in her room and she stopped in her tracks. She just saw Logan unconscious in the infirmary. She knew it couldn't be him in her room, but she couldn't stop her fear and anxiety. She didn't want to face Logan. She was afraid he'd act like he did when he cornered her like an animal and pinned her to the wall.

Rogue's heart beat so fast that her chest hurt. She felt it hard to breathe. She grabbed her chest and dropped to her knees. The thud she made when she dropped to her knees caught the attention of whoever was in her room.

"Rogue? That you?" Remy asked as he walked out of her room. He didn't expect to find Rogue hunched on the floor, barely breathing. "Oh my God, Rogue!" Remy ran to her side and crouched so that he was right in front of her. "What's wrong!"

Rogue looked up at Remy. "Nothing," she managed to say in between her frantic breaths. "Leave.. me alone.."

Remy frowned at her. Before she could protest, he scooped her up and carried her into her room. He closed the door behind him then lay Rogue down on her bed. Her breathing was still erratic and her heart was still racing.

"Breathe, Rogue. Breathe," Remy instructed. He hugged Rogue and rubbed her back. "Breathe in.. Breathe out.. Breathe in.. Breathe out.."

Rogue tried her hardest to follow Remy's instructions and after a few minutes, her panic attack had subsided. "Shh.." Remy soothed. Hen he realised that her breathing had gone back to normal he leaned back to look at Rogue. "What happened?"

Rogue didn't know what to tell him. She didn't want to tell him that she was shit scared of Logan, because she felt Logan was_ her_ problem and she didn't want Remy to battle it out for her honour.. again. She almost lost him the last time. "It was nothin'," she replied. Rogue got up off the bed and made her way to her bathroom and closed the door.

Remy was unsure over what to make of her panic attack. Whatever scared her was serious because he'd never seen her like that.. ever. He sat on Rogue's bed for a moment and watched her enter her bathroom and close the door behind her. Then he remembered that Rogue was cutting herself now and he didn't want to leave her alone in her bathroom. He quickly jumped off the bed and ran to her bathroom door. His heart was pounding. He didn't want anything bad to happen to her, especially when he was around to stop it. Remy tried the handle and was glad to find it unlocked. He quickly swung the door open, praying that he wouldn't see Rogue trying to hurt herself. Instead, he saw Rogue leaning with her hands on either side of the basin, with her head bowed down and her hair in her face.

Rogue heard the door open and turned her head. She blew her hair out of her face and looked at the Cajun standing in the doorway. She didn't say a word, unsure of why he'd just burst into her bathroom.

Remy stood dumbfounded. He half expected Rogue to be lying on the floor, bleeding to death. His heart slowed down to its normal rate. "I.. Er.." He mumbled.

"You what?" Rogue asked, totally uninterested in what he had to say. She just wanted to be alone to think about her problems. She didn't want Remy's help and she wanted him to go away.

Remy took a deep breath. He knew he had to say it, but he didn't know how Rogue would react. "Remy thought you might be in trouble.." He replied.

Rogue stood up straight and crossed her arms. "I'm in my bathroom..?" She replied as if he were thick as a brick. She wondered if Remy had hit his head during the day or something. But she just wanted to think about how to deal with Logan, so she wasn't really interested in talking to Remy right now.

Remy didn't know how to tell Rogue he was afraid she was cutting herself. Then he saw it. Behind her on the side of the basin was the bloodied razor and the blood looked fresh. He needed to take it before she would do any more harm. But he didn't know how to without her arguing with him. After a moment, he gave up the idea of trying to quietly swipe it without Rogue noticing. "Rogue, this is for your own good!" Remy explained as he quickly walked up to her. He quickly walked around her and took the razor.

Rogue didn't know what he was doing at first, but then when he walked around her, she realised what he was going for. "Hey! Give that back, ya stinkin' swamp rat!" She yelled. She tried to take the razor from Remy, but before Rogue could grab it, Remy dropped the razor in the toilet and flushed.

Rogue was mad. Remy had thrown away her only escape from reality. She needed the razor to make her troubles go away, even if it was only for short periods at a time. "How dare you!" she yelled. She tried to take a swing at Remy, but he only dodged her swing and grabbed her arm. In one swift move, he twirled her around and grabbed her other arm. Her arms were pinned across her chest by Remy's right arm as he hugged her from behind. His left arm then swung around and wrapped itself around Rogue's throat in a headlock.

"Let me GO!" Rogue screamed. She could feel her heart pounding again and it was getting harder to breath again. But it wasn't because of Remy's forearm around her throat. She was afraid. 'Remy's exactly like Logan. They'll both hurt me if they get the chance!' Rogue convinced herself. She had to think fast but her lack of breathing was the only thing on her mind.

"Rogue," Remy grunted as Rogue tried to wrench herself free from his hold. "Stop it. I know you've been cutting yo'self and it's not healthy. Remy cares about you and you have to stop this whether you like it or not!" Remy explained. He shuffled forward, forcing Rogue to step forward also. They moved closer to Rogue's bed and when they were a foot away from it, they stopped. "I love you, Rogue, and I only want to help," Remy explained. "Now if I let go, will you at least hear Remy out?"

Rogue thought about kicking Remy in the balls for a moment, but she nodded anyway. It was the only way he was going to let her go. Remy let her go as he promised, and Rogue spun around to face Remy. "My life ain't none of your business, Cajun!" Rogue growled. She poked Remy in the chest with her left hand to prove a point, but Remy caught her hand.

"The fact that I care should be enough to make it my business!" Remy growled back. Still holding her hand with one hand, he used his free hand to roll down her sleeve. Rogue growled in pain as the sleeve scraped her newly formed scabs. Remy had a hunch she'd probably cut herself again and he was saddened at the fact that he was right.

"Look what you're doing to yourself, Chere!" Remy pleaded with her. Rogue looked into his burning red eyes and wouldn't look at her own arm. Remy lifted her arm higher so that her arm was right in front of her face. "Look!"

Rogue glared at Remy. "Ah ain't some kitten you can bully around, swamp rat!" She growled. "What ah do is mah business!"

Rogue had an idea. She figured it was the only way to get Remy off her, so she concentrated on absorbing Remy. Remy felt the sudden shock that came when Rogue was about to absorb him and he quickly let go of her arm. "Remy only tryin' to help you," he explained, hurt that Rogue was getting angry at him.

Rogue brought her defences up. She didn't like that Remy knew so much about her and it was partly her fault because she let him see her real side back in the infirmary. So she did the only thing that came natural when she felt uncomfortable. She lashed out. "Ah don't need yah help!" Rogue yelled. "What ah do is mah business! So stay outah it!"

Rogue tried to walk out the door but Remy blocked her path. "Why you so angry, Chere?"

Rogue loved it when he called her 'Chere', but she felt so angry and exposed that she didn't want to let him suck her in with his charm anymore. "Ah'm angry because yah act like yah care about me. Yah left me without any explanation! Yah should hate me and yell at me for what ah did with Logan! And ah should be hating yah for what yah did with that stupid bimbo blonde!" Rogue yelled out. She cursed at herself for spitting all that out without thinking about it first.

Remy was a little taken back with the sudden honesty. He tried to put his arms around Rogue, but she stepped back so that he wouldn't touch her. Remy, rejected, put his hands back at his sides. "Remy owes you an explanation for why he left. Would you at least sit down and hear it?"

Rogue was still furious with Remy, but she agreed to sit next to him on the bed and hear him out.

_I can't feel  
The way I did before  
Don't turn your back on me  
I wont be ignored  
Time wont heal  
This damage anymore  
Don't turn your back on me  
I wont be ignored.  
No  
Hear me out now  
You're gonna listen to me  
like it or not  
Right now_

_(Linkin Park – Faint)_

----------------------------

Back at the infirmary, Logan's eyes began to open. He looked around the room, trying to register where he was. Just when he was starting to remember what had happened, his eyes were met with a very angry Professor Xavier.


	11. ch11: Are You Using Me?

**Author's notes:** hey ya'll SO SO sorry for the seriously late chapter but I had a knee reconstruction 3 weeks ago and ive only just begun to heal up enuff to roam around without crutches! (makes it easier to carry a heavy-ass laptop around the house)  
this chapters a lil' short for my liking, but I hope ya'll enjoy it coz the next chapter will probably be a while. I haven't really had time to write it yet! But please, DO review! Good, bad, bitching about the characters- anything! I LOVE reading the reviews!

* * *

**Ch11: are you using me?**

Rogue sat down on the end of her bed and Remy sat on her desk. He had no idea where to begin. He owed Rogue an explanation, but thinking back to when he left, he realised his reason for leaving was kinda stupid.

"Well?" Rogue said, crossing her arms.

Remy looked down at his hands. He was fidgeting. He'd already kept Rogue waiting for a good minute now and there was no backing out now that he'd already told her he'd give her an explanation. He took a deep breath. "After coming back here and seein' you again," Remy began, "Remy realise what he lost. Usually, I only let a relationship with a girl get to a certain point. I been hurt once before in N' Orleans, and I tried to run out on ya before I would let myself get hurt again," He explained. Remy looked into Rogue's emerald green eyes as he spoke, trying to figure out what she was thinking.

Rogue kept her arms crossed. "So yah left because yah were scared? Is that it?" She asked. Remy could tell she was pissed off. It didn't take a genius to figure that out. "Yah left because ya didn't care about how much ah loved ya. Yah only cared about what might happen if yah stayed?" Rogue asked in her pissed of tone. She uncrossed her arms and stood up. "Well ah hope yah feelin' fan-fuckin'-tastic now, Remy!"

Remy stood up and held his palms out in a stop motion. "Wait, wait! At least let me finish!" He pleaded. Rogue huffed and sat herself back on the bed. "I know now what a mistake it was. And yeh, Remy did hate you for what you did with Logan. But that was only at first. Now I see you never were happy with Logan and you only did it because of what I did!"

Rogue snorted. Remy hit the nail on the head, but she wasn't buying his explanations just yet.

"You want to know why Remy brought home that blonde, Chere?" Remy asked but Rogue only shrugged in reply. So, he continued anyway. "Remy heard you and Jean talking. I thought I heard you say you didn't want nothing to do with Remy. I thought you were over me, so I did what I could to get over you."

Rogue snorted again. "Drinkin' and Fuckin?" She replied harshly.

"Funny," Remy commented sarcastically. "Seriously Chere, Remy knows you still care. I see it in your eyes. And when ya healed me.."

Rogue cut Remy off. "_Now_ what memories did ah pass on tah yah!" She rolled her eyes.

Remy smiled. He remembered the feelings that Rogue had passed onto him when she saved him. The only way he could explain those feelings were love, fear of losing Remy, and disgust and hate for what Logan had done. He felt how Rogue felt for him and how she wouldn't be able to cope if Remy died. "Remy knows how ya' really feel about him. Remy knows ya wish we were back together. And ya want what Remy wants, and don't deny it. Now we bot' made mistakes and let's try put this all past us," Remy explained.

Rogue still looked cross, but her expression was softening. Remy could tell she was finally warming to him. "What are yah sayin', swamp rat?"

Remy pushed off the desk he was sitting on and crouched at the foot of the bed in front of Rogue. He put a hand on her knee and looked into her emerald eyes. "Remy sayin' that he wants you to take him back, Chere."

Rogue's eyes widened. She finally had confirmation that there might be hope for Remy and herself. She wanted this moment to come for so long, she didn't know what to do. She sat there like a stunned mullet. She uncrossed her arms and put her hands on Remy's hand, which still rested on her knee.

Remy could see that Rogue was surprised with what he'd said. "Would've thought you'd figure that out by now," He smiled. Rogue's shocked look slowly changed into a smile. "Can we just forget all th' shit that's happened in the last month or so and go back to how we were?"

Rogue nodded. She was so happy.. no, ectatic! She flung her arms around Remy's neck and he took that opportunity to pull her up off the bed. He stood with Rogue's body pressed against his own. He looked down into her green eyes and she looked up into his demon eyes. Rogue had dreamt about this moment for so long. "So..?" Remy asked.

"So, what?" Rogue asked back, unsure of what Remy was asking.

"That a yes?"

Rogue smiled and cupped Remy's face with one of her hands. "Of course, sugar!" She smiled. Remy smiled and leaned in to kiss Rogue. Rogue's mind ran wild. She felt her problems slide away as Remy's lips pressed onto her own. She didn't want to care anymore. She didn't want to care about Logan, she didn't want to care that she and Remy had been apart for so long. All she wanted to care about was that Remy was there with her, hopefully to stay.

"Ahem."

Rogue and Remy detached from one another and looked towards the open doorway to see who had interrupted them. It was Scott.

"Scott," Rogue greeted. "What's up?"

Scott was glad (and surprised) that Remy and Rogue seemed to have gotten back together, but he wanted to have a chat to Remy about never hurting Rogue ever again. But he planned to do that later on in the day. There was something more important going on.

"Logan's awake," Scott informed them. Remy, who still had an arm around Rogue, felt her body stiffen at the mention of Logan. She was afraid of Logan. Remy had a hunch that her anxiety attack might have been about Logan. Even now she hid her face well, Remy could tell she was scared.

'What did he do to her to make her so afraid!' Remy thought to himself.

Just then, Kurt ported in next to Scott. "You guys have to come see!" Kurt squealed. "Ze professor is yelling at Logan for.. somezing!"

Rogue's eyes widened. She couldn't contain her fear, but she tried her hardest to hide it. "Fighting? Why?" She tried to ask calmly. She had a feeling that the argument was about her and the last thing she wanted was for the others to find out what activities she'd been doing with Logan.

Kurt shrugged at Rogue's question. "No idea. All I could hear was yelling. Zat door is made of steel! It's too hard to hear anyzing properly, but ze professor sounds PISSED!" Kurt exclaimed. "Come on! Let's go see!"

Rogue needed to know why they were arguing. She wanted to make sure that none of her friends heard anything also. She walked towards the door and Remy was right behind her. As she got closer to Kurt, she put her hand on his shoulder. Remy put his hand on top of hers.

"Four to beam up, Mr. Wagner," Scott joked.

--------------------------------------------

When they reached the door to the ward Logan was in, Rogue realised Kurt was right. The door was so thick that they couldn't make out anything too clearly. The professor must've really been yelling loudly because every few seconds they could hear his muffled voice through the door.

"I vonder why zey are fighting," Kurt asked. The four of them stood in a row, facing the door. It was as if they thought that if they looked at the door long enough, they might actually be able to see what was going on.

Remy put his arm around Rogue. "Remy has an idea why." Rogue stiffened again. She looked up at Remy with wide eyes. She didn't want him telling the boys that she'd been sleeping with Logan. "'Cause Logan stabbed Remy," Remy explained.

Rogue's body relaxed. Of course! To the others that didn't know about Logan and Rogue, that's all it would look like. 'How stupid of me!' She thought to herself.

"Yeah, about that.." Scott began. "What happened in the danger room? What were you two arguing about just before he stabbed you?"

This time Rogue wanted to run away. Somewhere far away, where she wouldn't have to see the shocked and disappointed looks of her friends. Remy tightened his hold around Rogue's waist, as if he knew what she was thinking. "When are Remy and Logan _not_ arguing about something?" Remy explained. "We got into an argument and decided to not go so easy on each other while we fought."

"And he stabbed you!" Kurt exclaimed. "Why did you take Logan on like zat! You know he could rip you to shreds! None of us could ever take him on like zat!"

Remy shrugged. 'Yeah, nobody but me could ever bring Logan down,' Rogue thought to herself. Suddenly, the four of them could hear the professor's voice booming thought the door.

"A STUDENT, LOGAN! WITH A STUDENT!"

Rogue felt her stomach drop. Her secret was out. She didn't know what she was going to do. Her feelings of dread slowly overcame her.

"Wow, ze professor must really be drilling him for fighting full on wiz a student!" Kurt commented.

Rogue felt her dread fade away at Kurt's coment. 'Thank you, Lord,' she thought to herself. She was thankful that that was all they could really hear from the professor though the thick metal door.

-------------------------------------

Logan kept his head down. He stared at the floor, like a child being punished.

"I already warned you about this! You went against my warnings and continued to sleep with the poor girl!" the professor yelled.

Logan finally looked up at the Professor. There was a vein in on the professor's forehead that looked like it was going to burst any second now from all the yelling. Logan knew nothing he said could justify anything he'd done.

"And then you almost killed Remy! You let your ego get in the way and you almost killed a student here! They're here for our protection, not for you to pick off!"

Logan lowered his head again. "I didn't mean for.."

But the professor cut him off. "Accident or not, you let your ego get the better of you and you shouldn't have been doing more than sparring with Remy! I don't care what he said to you!"

Logan's head shot up again. "You know?"

Xavier nodded. "I took the liberty of reading your mind while you were unconscious. And I don't like what I saw, Logan." The professor's voice lowered, but his tone was still angry. "Kurt brought Rogue in here earlier and she ran out of here in fear."

Logan was surprised that Rogue had come see him. She'd been avoiding him whenever she could and he was happy that maybe she still has feelings for him and not Remy.

"Logan, why would Rogue be afraid of you?" Xavier asked. Logan had a feeling he already knew the answer, but Logan didn't really know himself why Rogue was afraid of him. Logan shrugged at the professor's question.

"Logan, I warned you that I would not hesitate to send you away if you continued with these sort of.. activities," Xavier explained. "Pack your things. You leave first thing tomorrow morning."

----------------------------------------

"Zey've gone quiet," Kurt commented.

"Thanks for the heads up, captain obvious!" Scott joked.

"Maybe he killed ze professor?" Kurt asked. Scott slapped Kurt on the back of the head. "Ow!"

"That wasn't funny, Kurt," Rogue replied. Just as she looked back at the door, they could all hear a beep. It was the noise of someone pressing the button that opened the door to the ward and it came from the inside.

Rogue felt Kurt's tail wrap itself around her and Remy and then the next thing she knew, they were all back in her bedroom.

"Zat was close!" Kurt sighed.

Remy removed his arm from Rogue and turned to face Kurt. "The professor ain't stupid. He's gonna smell that sulphur cloud a soon as he leave the room," Remy explained.

Kurt stiffened. There was only evidence that he had been there, listening. The others didn't leave behind a smelly sulphur smell to show that they too had been listening in. "Oh shit."

-------------------------------------

It was just before dinnertime and Rogue and Remy were in her room. Rogue wanted to freshen up before they headed off to the dining room for dinner. She stood in front of her full-length mirror and tied up her hair in a high ponytail. Her white fringe hung at the sides of her face. She thought about how she and Remy had agreed to get back together again. She'd been dreaming of it for so long that she almost didn't think they would ever get together again. The only thing now was for her to figure out how she's going to deal with Logan. She'd managed to avoid him so far, but now that she knew he was awake, she knew that eventually she wouldn't be able to avoid him anymore.

Remy lay on his side on Rogue's bed. He was glad that he and Rogue could finally have another try at being a couple. He also knew that somehow they'd have to deal with Logan. He watched as Rogue tied up her hair and was now looking for her eyeliner. She'd lightened up on the gothic make up after she finished high school, but she still wore some light make up. "Chere, you look beautiful. Stop fussin'!" Remy smiled. Rogue winked back and stuck her tongue out at Remy.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Because she was thinking about Remy so much, she didn't think about who could be at her door. When she opened it, her stomach dropped. 'Speak of the Devil,' Rogue thought to herself.

There stood Logan. Rogue couldn't make out the look on his face, but if she had to guess, it would be that Logan wanted to see her. That he _needed_ to see her. "Rogue," Logan said as he laid eyes on Rogue. The last time they spoke, Rogue was absorbing him with a look in her eye that scared even Logan. Logan then looked over Rogue's shoulder and saw Remy laying on her bed. When Remy realised that it was Logan at the door, he sat up and shuffled off the bed. "What's going on here?" Logan asked, looking at Rogue then Remy, then back at Rogue.

Rogue was nervous. She didn't want to have another anxiety attack, and she knew that this would probably be the time to tell Logan she wanted to end her relationship with him. If she was going to try again with Remy, she'd need to do it now and stop putting it off. "Nothing. Remy and Ah were just talkin'," Rogue replied.

"Remy'll leave you two alone," He said as he headed towards the door, deciding to stay within earshot.. just in case.

Remy knew that Rogue wanted nothing to do with Logan. He was however, a bit nervous about leaving Rogue alone in the room with Logan. The only problem was, Logan was still standing in the doorway and wasn't moving out of the way. Remy stood in front of the larger man and waited for Logan to move, but he wasn't moving. Remy looked up at the larger man. "Do you mind?" Remy asked.

Logan crossed his arms and snorted. He then stepped back so that he was outside of Rogue's room, and waited for Remy to walk out. But just as Remy walked past him, Logan grabbed Remy by the collar of his shirt. He didn't say anything, but the look in his eyes was scary enough.

"Logan!" Rogue called out. "Let him go!"

Remy stayed silent. Hell, he'd been stabbed by Logan before and Rogue brought him back. While Rogue was around, Remy wasn't afraid. He smirked at Logan and that only made Logan sneer at him.

"Logan!" Rogue called out again.

Logan snorted again and let Remy go. Remy readjusted his shirt in an attempt to get out the crinkles Logan had made. He then turned and winked at Rogue before leaving her alone with Logan. The wink only made Logan angrier.

Rogue watched on as Remy left her room. Now she was even more nervous and she tried her hardest to control herself so she didn't have another anxiety attack. "What do yah want, Logan?" Rogue asked. She prayed that Remy hadn't gone too far.. just in case Logan decided to go animalistic on her again.

Logan turned to face Rogue. His look was sincere as he asked, "Can I come in?"

Rogue almost told him 'no', but she knew that this was her opportunity to tell Logan to leave her alone. To her, it would have been easier to never see Logan ever again, but she couldn't just leave the mansion. She needed to tell Logan that she was back together with Remy, but she also wanted to tell Logan that it would be easier to never see him again. She didn't want to feel awkward around him if they were both going to be living at the mansion. Suddenly, she realised why Remy felt he had to leave the mansion. It was just easier for Remy to avoid Rogue. She understood that now.

Rogue nodded and watched Logan enter the room and close the door behind him. Rogue felt uneasy when Logan closed the door. The door closing emphasised how she was alone with Logan. Rogue crossed her arms and tried to remain confident. "Logan, this needs to stop," Rogue said before Logan could say anything. She knew now that her short relationship with Logan was out of loneliness. And after absorbing Logan the day before, she now had confirmation that Logan loved her a lot more than he should, and a lot more than Rogue felt comfortable with.

Logan didn't move. He continued to stand just a few steps inside Rogue's room. Rogue knew that Logan would never hit a woman in anger, but Rogue still feared he would actually do something to her. With Logan standing just inside the doorway, she had no way to escape her room, other than her second storey balcony.

Logan wasn't stupid. He knew there was something more going on with Remy and Rogue, but he didn't know that they had gotten back together. No one had told him after he woke up from his coma. But he still had strong feelings for Rogue and he didn't wan to give her up without a fight. "Rogue," He said. He was hurt by what Rogue had said, but he wanted to let her know what he thought. "I know what we're doing was wrong, but I don't want it to stop. I love-"

Rogue uncrossed her arms and flew her hands up in front of her as she cut him off. "Don't say it!" She felt disgusted with herself for sleeping with Logan and she wanted to put it all behind her. Now that she knew he loved her only made her want to run away and never see him again. It was an awful feeling to have someone so infatuated with you when you would never love them back. Rogue crossed her arms again and hunched her shoulders to hug herself tighter. She'd never had to break up with anyone before, but now she felt that she knew exactly how Remy felt. But at the same time, Rogue had no feelings for Logan but when Remy left, he still had feelings for Rogue. The last thing Rogue wanted to do was hurt Logan. But she felt she couldn't avoid it if he felt for her as deeply as he said. She wished she would never have to face him ever again, just so that she wouldn't have to see the saddened and hurt looks on his face.

"But ah do," she replied honestly. She looked at Logan with sad eyes but he didn't say anything. "Remy and ah decided tah get back together," Rogue explained.

Logan stared at her. Rogue saw the momentary hurt in his eyes when she mentioned she was back together with Logan. "Were you using me?" Logan asked. His voice sounded hurt, but at the same time, it sounded like he tried to hide his feelings.

Rogue knew the answer, but she couldn't bring herself to say it right away. She felt dirty, like a whore for using Logan like that, but at the same time, she realised that it took two to tango. Logan took advantage of her inebriated state back on her birthday and that made her hate him. "Yes." She felt that she had to be blunt. To be cruel to be kind. She wanted Logan to hate her, if it meant he would stop loving her.

Logan took a step forward, closer to Rogue. This time, Rogue didn't move backwards. She stood her ground and braced herself for.. anything. A hit, a punch, verbal abuse. But there was nothing. But then his face showed a more neutral expression and Rogue didn't know what to make of it. After a moment, Logan turned and left the room. When she saw the door close behind Logan, she breathed a sigh of relief. When she was satisfied that he was gone, she ran to the door and locked it. She didn't want to chance Logan coming back. She leaned back on the door and slid to the floor. She'd have no more visitors that night, not even Remy. She needed to be alone.


	12. ch12: Rogue's Escape

**Author's notes: **sorry for the extremely late update but ive been super busy and not to mention the fact that I just recently had a knee recnstruction.. but enuff about me. I also postponed this chapter because I don't like it- I mean, I haven't been able to fix it up to my liking, but it's as good as it's gonna get- so I hope YOU guys enjoy it! (and pwetty pweeze send a review my way! I still haven't written the next chapter so that should be up in about 2 weeks I hope!)

**CH12: Rogue's escape**

Rogue sat on the lid of the laundry chute with her left arm over the basin again. She'd been sitting in her bathroom for an hour now. Reliving the encounter she'd just had on Logan was painful for her. She felt horrible for allowing Logan to love her. She hated herself for leading him on, even though she'd convinced herself at the time that she'd be happy with Logan. She hated herself for believing it too. Even though Remy forgave her for all of it, Rogue still hadn't forgiven herself.

She leaned her head on the wall and watched the blood drip from her arm. She had a close call that night. When she first entered her bathroom, Remy had come back to her room to see if she was okay and to see if she was still coming to dinner. Thankfully she hadn't begun to cut herself yet. She didn't want Remy to see it. She'd convinced him that she wasn't hungry anymore and that he should go to dinner without her. Remy promised he'd come back to her room after dinner, but Rogue told him she wanted to be alone.

Rogue looked at the bloodied blade that lay in the basin. She'd made three more incisions that night and the blood that came out was a lot more than she'd expected.

'Ah wish ah never slept with Logan,' Rogue thought to herself. 'Even though Remy left me, ah should never have let myself do that with Logan. Ah never loved him. Ah'm stupid for doing it out of loneliness. Remy'll never truly forgive me. He'll always remember it.'

Rogue turned on the tap and watched the water mix with the blood. The water cleaned the basin for a moment, but seconds later the basin was filled with new droplets of blood that flowed from her arm. She now had five scars to hide from everyone. She didn't know what she'd do if the others found out about her cuts.

'Ah know this is wrong, but ah need it!' She said to herself.

Rogue picked up the nearest towel and wrapped it around her arm. She wanted to stop the bleeding so she could go to sleep. The bleeding had slowed significantly in the last half hour, but she didn't want bloodied sheets again. With the towel around her forearm, Rogue walked out of the bathroom and towards her bed. She sat on the edge of the bed and pressed the towel down onto her arm. She hissed in pain but she knew she needed to apply pressure for the bleeding to stop.

'What am ah gonna do tomorrow?' She asked herself. She had no idea what was going to happen the next day when she had to face Logan again. Rogue had no idea that Xavier ordered Logan to leave first thing in the morning. She lay down and tried to think about anything but Logan with little success.

_If I could change I would  
Take back the pain I would  
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would  
If I could  
Stand up and take the blame I would  
If I could take all the shame to the grave I  
Would_

_Sometimes I remember  
The darkness of my past  
Bringing back these memories  
I wish I didn't have  
Sometimes I think of letting go  
And never looking back  
And never moving forward so  
There would never be a past_

_(Linkin Park - Easier to Run)_

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Rogue woke up and found the towel was still wrapped around her arm and she was still in her clothes from the night before. She'd fallen asleep while she was waiting for the bleeding to stop. She looked at the alarm clock and it read 7am.

'That's gotta be a record!' She thought to herself. It's the first time she'd woken up so early of her own free will. Feeling wide awake, Rogue sat up and checked her arm. The bleeding had stopped but the three new cuts ached, which was to be expected. She fed off the physical pain in an attempt to numb and forget about her emotional pain.

She got up and rolled her sleeve down to hide the new cuts. She figured since she was already awake, she might as well get some breakfast.

When Rogue reached the kitchen, She saw the kitchen was hustling and bustling with the numerous students. "Morning!" Kurt greeted cheerily as he saw Rogue enter the kitchen. The younger students were all over the kitchen bench making their breakfast.

"What on Earth is goin' on?" Rogue asked, not used to seeing the kitchen so busy in the morning. As she walked towards the fridge, she noticed Logan was sitting at the table, reading his paper as he usually did. She tried not to react to his presence as she turned her attentions on Kurt. She could feel Logan's eyes burning on the back of her head as she walked closer to Kurt.

"It's called the morning rush," Kurt smiled. "Unlike us older students, _zey_ have school in an hour. You just usually wake up after zey are all gone," Kurt explained.

Rogue nodded at the explanation. It was logical and true. Rogue did tend to sleep just that extra hour or two in the mornings. She walked over to the fridge and opened it. She pulled out the milk and then walked through the miniature crowd of students to get to the cupboard where the cereal was kept.

"It's like rush hour in here!"

Hearing Remy's voice, Rogue turned to look towards the doorway. Her boyfriend had walked in, hair dishevelled and his eyes barely opened and his unshaven beard. She loved the way Remy looked first thing in the morning. He looked more natural, and cute with the half asleep look on his face. Remy smiled as he approached Rogue. "Morning, Chere," Remy greeted as he planted a kiss on Rogue's forehead.

"Mornin', Shugar," Rogue replied. She smiled up at the taller man.

"Ah, thanks, Chere. Remy's starved!" Remy joked as he took the milk and cereal out of Rogue's hands. Rogue laughed. Remy was stealing her breakfast right out from under her.

"Hey! That's mah breakfast!" Rogue squealed as she ran after Remy and tried to take the milk and cereal back.

Remy, loving the attention and how he and Rogue had started acting playful again, lifted the cereal box and milk carton above his head. "Come and get it, mon ami!"

Rogue jumped for the food, but Remy's reach was just that little bit too high. Rogue smiled and turned her back to Remy. "Fine," She pouted. "Ah wanted toast anyway!" She pretended to be angry as she walked over to the toaster.

Kurt laughed at the public display Remy and Rogue were putting on. He was ecstatic when he heard the two of them were getting back together. He missed seeing Rogue so happy.

--------------------------

Remy and Rogue sat on the kitchen bench, shoulder to shoulder as they ate their breakfast. Rogue was glad that they had their backs to Logan, because she didn't want to think about the stares he was most likely giving her. She wanted to enjoy her time with Remy without Logan wreaking it all. Rogue ate her fruit loops with a small smile on her face. Remy looked over at her and saw her smiling as she chewed her breakfast.

"Those Fruit loops must be tasty, Chere," Remy commented, softly nudging her shoulder with his. Rogue just grinned and continued chewing on her fruit loops.

Kurt sat opposite Remy and Rogue at the bench and watched the two lovebirds finally enjoy one another's company. Rogue realised Kurt was staring at them and she pretended to glare at him. "What'cha lookin' at, Furball?" She asked, pointing at him with her spoon.

Kurt only grinned more. "It's good to see two mature adults sitting and-"

Before Kurt could finish his random babble about how happy he was to see the two of them together again, a snort could be heard coming from Logan's direction. Kurt, Rogue and Remy all turned to look at Logan. Logan ignored the looks from the three of them and continued reading his paper.

Jean and Scott, who were sitting at the table with Logan also looked at confused Logan. They weren't sure if Logan's snort had anything to do with what Kurt was saying or if it was aimed at something he'd just read. Remy was the first one to speak up. "Got somethin' to say, Wolverine?"

Logan rustled his newspaper to straighten the pages and continued reading. Everyone knew what was going to happen. It was the calm before the storm. Remy had just dared Logan to say what was really on his mind. Remy and Logan butted heads constantly, and all the senior students knew when a fight between the two was about to begin. "Adults? You're hardly what I'd call _mature_?" Logan replied, still looking at his paper, knowing that the others, mainly Remy, would hear it.

"You gotta problem with Kurt callin' us mature?" Remy asked, his voice becoming a little more hostile.

Rogue prayed that they didn't get into a fight. Their arguments were usually pretty horrible, but this time she knew they were fighting over her. It made her nervous, because the last fight they had, Remy almost died and Rogue almost killed Logan. Not to mention, she didn't want everyone else to hear she'd been sleeping with Logan. The kitchen was still filled with all the senior students and a few straggling younger students, who still hadn't left for school yet.

Logan knew he'd get in trouble for picking a fight with Remy again, but he was told to leave the mansion anyway, so Logan didn't really care anymore. He was packed and ready to leave right after he finished his breakfast, and so he didn't feel that he had anything to lose. Rogue was already lost to him and he had no idea if he'd even be welcomed back at the mansion. "Runnin' out on Rogue like ya' did ain't really mature," Logan replied, still not taking his eyes off his newspaper.

Remy hopped off the bench. Rogue did the same and put her hand on Remy's arm. "Remy, don't."

But Remy wasn't listening. He had just sorted through things with Rogue, but that was between he and Rogue- _his_ girlfriend. Remy looked at Rogue and smiled. "It okay, Chere." And then he turned to Logan with a glare on his face. "Y'know, Homme, Remy don't think it any of yo' business."

Logan smirked and lay his newspaper down on the table. Remy had pulled right into Logan's clutches. Logan wanted to have another go at Remy before he left, and he figured that this might be his one chance to pick a fight. "I think it _is_, Cajun," Logan replied casually. Logan leaned forward, forearms on the table and his hands clasped together.

Kurt cocked his head, sideways at Logan's remark. "Huh?" He asked. Kurt's confused face matched Scott's, Kitty's and all the younger students'. Jean however had a fearful look on her face. She also knew what the fight was about and like Rogue, also feared what the outcome might be. "Vat do you mean?" Kurt asked.

Rogue's heart almost stopped when Kurt asked it. She prayed that no one explained to him what Logan meant. She was glad that Remy decided to ignore what Kurt asked and replied to Logan's comment instead. He crossed his arms and smirked at Logan. "Remy beg to differ."

"Well," Logan began. "When ya run out on one of my friends like that, you don't exactly stay on my good side, _Mr. Mature_."

Remy took a step closer to Logan. Rogue put her hand on Remy's shoulder, hoping that it'd be enough to make him back down from this fight. "Non, Chere," He said, moving his shoulder away from Rogue's grasp. "This needs to be done."

Rogue couldn't stand it anymore. She didn't want everyone to know about what she'd done. She was too embarrassed as it was and she didn't know what she'd do if the others found out. "Stop it, Remy!" Rogue yelled.

"Vat is goin' on!" Kurt asked a little louder.

They all ignored Kurt and turned their attentions on Remy, who replied a little more angrily to Logan, "Remy don't care if he on your good side, Wolverine! You stay the FUCK away from Rogue, understand?"

Rogue's felt a constricting feeling in her chest after she heard Remy say that. She couldn't breathe. She had to stop this.

This time it was Scott who spoke up. "What's going on?" He asked loudly to match the raised tones of Remy, Rogue and Logan's. To Remy and Logan, it was as if no one else was there. They were glaring at only each other. The fight was between only them and they weren't going to let the others get in the way. The others were just spectators.

Logan, hearing Remy's 'request', stood up and took a step towards Remy. His fists were clenched and his shoulders were pulled back, exposing Logan's large muscular chest at Remy. "You want _me _to stay away from Rogue? I think Rogue should have a choice in who she is allowed to hang around with," Logan replied.

Remy took another step closer, this time, a little to the left so that he was now standing in protectively in front of Rogue. "She doesn't _want_ you near her, understand!" Rogue could feel a panic attack coming on. She was having trouble breathing and Jean could see it. Jean tried to comfort her mentally by telling her telepathically that the boys would never let her secret slip.

'I hope yah right!' Rogue thought to herself, but she wasn't 100 percent sure herself!

Logan grunted at Remy's comment. "Oh that's real mature, you speaking for your lady," He smirked. He wanted to get Remy heated up. "She's got a mouth, let her tell me that herself!"

"I do believe she already _has,_ Wolverine! And as for _mature_.." Remy repeated. "Again with the mature! You wanna talk about mature?" Remy started yelling. His voice was becoming more angry, more heated. Rogue could feel that the argument was going to get insanely personal and she was terrified her secret was going to be let out. She'd never felt such anxiety and suspense before this moment. It was in this moment she felt that there was no escape.

"Remy, stop it!" Rogue pleaded. Her fear showed in the tone of her voice and it only made Scott, Kitty and Kurt become more alert to how bad the situation really was. Scott stood up from his seat, ready in case a fight broke out between Logan and Remy.

Hearing all the ruckus, Xavier entered the kitchen to see what was going on. It was at that moment, Remy made a huge mistake. He let his anger get the better of him. He'd been ignoring the pleading coming from Rogue, ignored the fact that there were spectators as he focussed all his attentions on Logan. "You slept with Rogue!" Remy yelled! Rogue froze in shock! Remy, not realising his audience heard everything he'd just said, he continued on. "You should know better, Wolverine! You should be the mature one and keep your fuck'n hands off my girlfriend!"

The sound of a mug smashing on the ground could be heard behind them. The piercing sound woke Remy from his zone and the sudden realisation of what he had done made his stomach drop.

"Rogue?" Bobby said. Rogue turned around and saw the broken mug at his feet. "You..You slept with Logan?"

Rogue didn't know what to do! She felt her chest get tighter and she couldn't breath. She started feeling light-headed. Her breaths became faster and shallower and she couldn't handle the stares she was getting from all the students. Most of all, she couldn't believe Remy was the one to let her secret slip. She looked up at Remy and saw the guilt on his face.

"Chere, I'm so sorry!" Remy apologised, but Rogue knew it wasn't enough. His apology wouldn't take back the stares everyone was giving. She couldn't look at them anymore. She had to leave their stares. Rogue turned and fled the room.

Remy tried to run after her, but the Professor held his hand out to stop Remy. "Let her go, Remy," Xavier instructed.

"But Professor!" Remy pleaded. He didn't mean to say what he said. He didn't mean to make Rogue feel so guilty and embarrassed. He needed to go tell Rogue how sorry he was, but Xavier didn't want to hear it.

"Leave her be. She needs time to think," He explained. Xavier told the younger students to get to school, but not to breathe a word of what had just happened or else they'd all be grounded.. After they left, Xavier turned to Logan. "I'll see you in my study, Logan," Xavier ordered. Logan left the room, aware of the stares the shocked students were giving him, leaving the professor with the senior students.

Scott sat back down. "I.. I… Rogue and Logan?" Was all he could manage to say in all his shocked state.

"Jean," Xavier instructed calmly, "Go see how Rogue's doing."

-------------------------------------

Rogue ran to her bedroom. It was the only place she could think of to run. She locked the door behind her and leaned back on the door.

"I cant! I can't do this!" She said to herself. She dropped to her knees as it felt harder to breathe. "I can't stay here! The way they all looked at me!"

Suddenly, Rogue got an idea. She quickly got up and ran to her closet. She grabbed her duffle bag and started stuffing it with clothes.

---------------------------------------

Jean had a feeling that the professor asked _her_ to go see how Rogue was doing because she already knew about Rogue's secret and wouldn't be as shocked as the others by it. She really felt sorry for Rogue and pitied her. She was also shocked that Rogue's secret was let out in front of so many people. No, she was shocked that the secret had come out at all.

Jean took her time getting to Rogue's room. She figured that maybe Rogue needed at least a few minutes to herself to think. Even Jean had a hard time comprehending that Rogue's secret came out in such a public arena. And even though Xavier threatened the younger students with punishment if they told any of the other students, Jean still bet on every student in the mansion knowing about Rogue and Logan by the end of the day.

Jean finally reached Rogue's room and then realised she had no idea what to do or say. But she figured she'd better start off somewhere, and so she raised her fist and knocked on Rogue's bedroom door. No reply. Jean leaned closer to the door and put her ear on it. She couldn't hear anything coming from Rogue's room. Jean didn't know what she expected to hear, but she thought that maybe she would've heard Rogue crying or something. Jean removed her ear from the door and stood straight up again. "Rogue?" Nothing. "Rogue, are you in there?"

Again, with no reply, Jean reached for the handle. Locked. Jean figured that if she were in Rogue's position, she would've locked her door too. Jean was ready to use her powers to unlock the door, but then she stopped herself. "Rogue," Jean called out. "I'm coming in!" She called, giving Rogue a heads up. "It's just me. No one else!" Again there was no response, so Jean went ahead and used her telekinetic powers to unlock the door.

The door opened and Jean walked into Rogue's room. Jean looked around the room and was surprised by what she saw. She knew Rogue tended to have a messy room, with clothes strewn around the room, floor and desk, but now Rogue's clothes were all over the floor, the drawers were all open and half empty. Rogue's wardrobe was open and clothes were all over the floor in front of it, as if Rogue frantically tried to find something in particular. Rogue was nowhere to be seen. "Rogue?" Jean called out. Jean could hear a noise coming from Rogue's bathroom. She figured maybe Rogue was in there. As Jean reached the bathroom door, she opened it and found that Rogue wasn't in the bathroom. The tap was running and Jean automatically walked over to it to shut it off. It was then that Jean saw it. The basin was filled with dried blood. "Oh my God!" Jean put her hand to her wide-open mouth in shock.

Something was definitely wrong. The situation Rogue got herself into was wrong, but seeing the blood in the basin made Jean feel sick to her stomach. Jean left the bathroom and walked back into Rogue's bedroom. Something was definitely wrong here. It was then that she realised that Rogue's balcony doors were wide open. A low rumble could be heard and Jean ran to the balcony to see what the sound was. She had a bad feeling about this.

As Jean reached the balcony, she saw an emerald green and black motorbike riding out of the Mansion gates. "Oh shit." Jean said to herself. It was too late to call out to Rogue. She'd already left the mansion and the sounds of the motorbike would be too loud for her to hear Jean's calls from so far away.

--------------------------------------

Logan sat nervously in Xavier's study. He'd been sitting there for a few minutes, his heel leaving the floor, then tapping the floor, then leaving the floor, then tapping the floor- with a rapid pace. He knew he was in deep shit this time. He'd copped a blasting from Xavier only the night before, but this time he took on Remy on purpose! He wasn't sure what else Xavier had to say to him, because Logan was scheduled to leave the mansion that very morning. The minutes that passed while Logan waited felt like they were passing too slowly.

Finally, Xavier rolled in to the study, a stern and angry glare on his face. Logan stood up as soon as Xavier came in. "Sit down, Logan," Xavier commanded with a cold voice. Logan obeyed and sat down. He watched as Xavier rolled his wheelchair around his desk so that the desk was between Logan and himself.

"I don't know what to say to you anymore, Logan," Xavier explained. His tone was still cold and definitely angry. "I've already told you to leave today, so there's no point in me punishing you further. But I-"

Xavier was cut off by Jean trying to contact him telepathically. 'Professor! Rogue's left the mansion! I saw her ride out the gates on her motorbike! And there's another thing. Her sink had a lot of blood in it.'

Xavier instructed Jean to get to Cerebro to try track Rogue. After giving her these orders, Xavier turned his attention back to Logan. "Jean has just informed me that Rogue has run away. I'm forced to retract my order for you to leave the mansion," He commanded.

Logan was confused. "But.."

"But nothing," Xavier explained. "Now that Rogue's run away, I don't want you out there chasing after her. You're to remain confined to your room. You're not to use the Danger room, or talk to any of the students. Ororo will be here to care for the students while we search for Rogue."

Logan nodded at Xavier's orders and stood up. He turned towards the door, and just as he did, Xavier added, "Remember Logan. I will force you to stay in your room if need be," Making it perfectly clear that he can use his powers to make Logan _want_ to stay in his room.

_It's easier to run  
Replacing this pain with something numb  
It's so much easier to go  
Than face all this pain here all alone_

_(Linkin Park – Easier To Run)_


	13. ch13: All Hell Breaks Loose

**author's notes:** I know1 I know! It's ben MONTHS since I updated! But ive gotten a sudden onslaught of motivation! So YAY! now this chapter gets a bit wonky in the beginning, where Jean tells Xavier telepathically that rogue's left, THEN Jean bumps into Remy. I hope it doesn't confuse you guys! Oh and PLEASE review!

**Ch13: All hell breaks loose**

Remy paced up and down the hallway outside the girls dorms. Xavier told him to put off talking to Rogue until Jean's seen how Rogue is. He couldn't believe what he'd done! Remy stopped pacing and leaned back up against the wall. He hit the back of his head on the wall, still trying to comprehend that he just violated Rogue's trust and possibly lost her love forever. He slid down the wall. "Stupid. Stupid. Stupid," Remy said to himself, hitting the back of his head on the wall with each word.

"Remy!"

Remy looked up and saw Jean standing over him. "Jean," Remy stood up. "How's Rogue. Did you tell her how sorry Remy is, Because-"

"Remy!" Jean said, cutting him off. "Rogue's run away."

Remy's jaw dropped at the bad news Jean had just told him. Rogue had left the mansion. She left because of him, because of his stupid mistake. "Remy gotta go find her!" Remy replied, but Jean stood in his way and put her hands on his shoulders to stop him.

"No. The professor's asked me to use cerebro to find her. We'll get her back, Remy!" Jean reassured the Cajun.

Remy nodded at Jean's proposal. "Work fast," He replied. Jean nodded and ran down the hall and down the stairs to get to the underground facility. Remy, however, had no intention of staying put. The moment that Jean was out of sight, Remy headed for the garage. He was going to find Rogue the old fashioned way. He knew Rogue wouldn't be stupid enough to use her powers because then she'd be tracked by Cerebro.

--------------------

Rogue kept looking behind her, half expecting to see one of the Xmen right behind her. She also expected that Xman to be Logan. He was the best tracker of all the Xmen. But after the argument in the kitchen, both Remy and Logan were the last people she wanted to see.

'How could Remy do this to me!' Rogue thought to herself. 'How could he be so stupid! I can't show my face there ever again!'

Rogue kept driving down the roads, unsure of where she was headed. Before she knew it, she was heading towards the 'Bayville diner'. It was a diner that was situated on the outskirts of Bayville. It mainly attracted Bikers and the odd people just passing through.

------------------------

Xavier tracked Logan telepathically to make sure he went to his room. He knew that Logan would go to his room, but Xavier could sense that Logan also wanted to go help search for Rogue. Satisfied, Xavier left his study to meet Jean at cerebro. He wracked his brain, trying to figure out how to fix this mess. Admittedly, he should have stopped it all before it had a chance to blow up like it did. He'd warned Logan about continuing his relationship with Rogue, and he hoped that Logan and Rogue would act like adults and end things. Unfortunately his trust in them was wrong.

Xavier made his way down the hallway and towards the elevator. When he reached it, he pushed the button and waited for it to come up. While he waited, he got a funny feeling in the back of his mind. It was someone in the mansion. Someone was projecting, sending thoughts out. And though this person wasn't a telepath, Xavier could still pick up their thoughts with great ease, as if they were saying out loud right next to him.

'..So sorry, Rogue! Remy find you!.. So sorry! Where could she be?'

Xavier, realising it was Remy, used his powers to try find Remy's position in the mansion. It was then that Xavier realised that Remy was headed for the garage. Xavier asked Remy telepathically, 'Remy, where are you going?'

"To go find Rogue before it's too late."

'Remy, I fear that Rogue might not want you to find her right now. I'll send Kurt, Scott and Hank out to find her.'

"But!"

'No, Remy. Please. I'd prefer you stayed here.'

Remy contemplated ignoring the professor's wishes, but then again, if the professor could tell Remy was leaving the mansion now, he'd surely know if Remy decided to ignore his orders. And so, Remy huffed to himself and walked back into the mansion. He remembered Jean saying she was going off to use Cerebro, so he decided to head down there to see if Jean could find Rogue.

--------

Rogue walked into the 'Biker bar' and looked around. There was the stereotypical country music playing in the background. The air was musky and smelled of smoke and sweat. It wasn't the cleanest bar in the world, but it'd do. None of the Xmen would expect to see her there. She surveyed the room, just in case. At the bar were two men, sitting stools apart, keeping to themselves. In one of the booths to her right, there was a young biker couple enjoying something pretty greasy for lunch. And at the far right, at the back of the room she saw..

"Ah, shit.."

There she saw Avalanche and Toad playing pool. Thankfully they hadn't seen her yet, so she tried to make for the bar without attracting their attentions. Fortunately, she got to the bar and sat down, with her back to the enemy. The bartender approached her. He was young, she guessed he was 25 or so, with dirty blonde hair that was short and scruffy. He wore a sleeveless flannel shirt and had tattoos all over his arms. "What do ya want, sweetie?"

She hated being nicknamed like that, especially when a stranger did it. But, given the place she was in, she shouldn't have been so surprised. "Just beer," she replied and took a quick look over her shoulder to see if the brotherhood had seen her yet. Thankfully they still hadn't. The bartender handed Rogue her drink and gave her a wink. 'Argh! Soon as ah drink this, ah'm outa here!' She thought to herself. 'Bottom's up!'

Rogue sculled her beer and cluncked the beer mug back on the bar. She pulled some money out of her pocket and placed it on the bar. She thought she'd be able to get out of there with no trouble, and finally be on her way to.. wherever. Apparently not.

"Well, lookie who we got here!" Rogue got up off her stool and turned around. There stood Lance, still holding his pool cue. Toad was right behind him, crouching close to the ground, as he usually does. "And what are you doing here, hmm?"

Rogue didn't say anything to them, knowing that Lance wouldn't show his mutant powers in public.. or would he? Instead of saying anything, she smirked at him, as if she knew something he didn't. Knowing that she was about to leave town, she didn't mind a good fight, go out with a bang and maybe embarrass the shit out of the two boys for being beaten up by a girl!

"What's so funny!" Lance asked, with a little hostility in his voice.

Rogue's smirk went away, and she smiled sweetly instead. "Nothin'," she said innocently. She then turned and head towards the door, with a swish in her hip, attracting the attentions of all the men in the room. She even made one of the older men fall off his stool as he leaned back too far to check her out. Rogue heard the thud and smiled to herself.

She wasn't entirely sure, to be honest, what to expect next. But when she got to her bike, she thought she was free to leave Bayville and escape the horror that was everyone finding out about her and Logan. 'I still don't know what I'm going to do about that!' She thought to herself.

Just as Rogue got on her motorbike, she saw Lance and Toad running out of the bar. "Hey, Xfreak!" Lance called out.

Rogue sighed to herself. Now that she was on her bike, she just wanted nothing more than to leave Bayville. "What do you want now?" She asked, getting off her bike.

Lance smirked. "What do you think?"

Rogue smiled. She needed to let off some steam. Who better to take her problems out on than a willing guinea pig! "Bring it on, grease monkey!"

----------------------

When Remy reached to large silver doors of cerebro, Jean was already in there, trying to find Rogue. He could hear through the thick metal doors the humming sound that cerebro makes and he hoped that Jean could find Rogue and fast. He needed to tell her how sorry he was. But there was no way he could go in there now that Jean had started the machine up. So he leaned back on the wall next to the doors of cerebro and waited. If circumstances were different, he would have asked Logan to go out there and track her down with his super smelling senses. But things were not different. Remy still hated Logan. He still wanted to pummel Logan for sleeping with Rogue and also for almost killing him!

As he turned the corner in the underground complex, Xavier saw Remy deep in thought. "Remy?"

Remy lifted off the wall and stood up straight. "Professor. Is there any way for you to tell from here if Jean's found Rogue yet?"

The professor shook his head. "Unfortunately Jean hasn't mastered her abilities enough to operate cerebro _and_ communicate telepathically at the same time. We will just have to wait until she's finished searching for Rogue," Xavier explained. "However, if Rogue uses her powers it'll help Jean find her a lot faster."

Remy nodded. He figured that if the professor were in there instead of Jean, things would be running a lot faster. "How long do you think she'll take?"

"Hard to tell," Xavier replied. "Just be patient, Remy. We'll find her."

Remy didn't want to wait. "Well then, if Jean gonna be a while, then Remy want to search for Rogue de' ol' fashioned way."

Xavier raised a hand in a 'stop' motion. "No, Remy. I've already explained that I've asked Kurt, Scott and Hank out there looking for her. After the commotion in the kitchen earlier, I really don't think you _or_ Logan should be there to find her."

Hearing Logan's name , Remy got mad. "And what's going to happen to _him_!"

Xavier understood Remy's predicament. Even after reading Logan's thoughts the day before, and seeing it all from Logan's point of view, Xavier understood fully why Remy was so mad. Like Xavier, Remy believed that Logan should have known better than to form a romantic attachment to Rogue –a student who's been living there since she was 16! Even though Remy was the one to leave Rogue, he still always saw her as his girl. "Logan will be restricted to his bedroom for the time being."

Remy crossed his arms and leaned back against the wall. "Somehow Remy don't think that gonna keep him."

----------------

Logan paced up and down the length of his bedroom. He knew that if he refused to stay in his room, the professor could more than easily make him _think_ he _wants_ to stay in his room. Hell, the professor cracked a joke about making Logan think he's a 6 year old girl and even have Jean braid his hair if he smoked indoors again. He sat himself down at the foot of his bed. He remembered back to the argument. When he started the argument, he knew he'd get Remy worked up but the last thing he expected was for his relationship with Rogue to be let out. Then again, looking back, he _did_ start the argument in front of the others, so of course the other students would be suspicious as to what the argument was really about.

He remembered Kurt asking numerous times what was really going on. The others knew that somehow the argument related to Rogue, but none of them really conceived the idea of Rogue and Logan having a sexual relationship, even for a short time. Logan didn't regret starting the argument with Remy, but he did however, regret the way the secret came out. He remembered the look on Rogue's face as Remy yelled it out, "You slept with Rogue!"

She was warning Remy to stop it right before he blurted it out. "What she sees in that idiot, I'll never know."

---------------

Rogue stood over Toad and Lance's unconscious bodies. The fight was quick as she knocked them both out cold. Even though both of the boys had better active powers then Rogue, they both sucked at hand-to-hand combat.

Her scuffle with the two Brotherhood boys must've caused a bit of a ruckus, because the bartender was now standing in the doorway to the bar, staring at her, jaw practically hitting the floor. "That was the _best_ fight I've ever seen for a girl! He exclaimed.

Rogue was surprised he didn't tell her off for fighting. "Ya not mad ah caused a fight?"

"No way! Those two trouble-makers are in my bar all the time. They should be at school, not hanging around here so early in the mornin'. Come on. Lemme buy you a drink for such a good fight."

Rogue smiled. "Sounds good, but ah got tah go. Those two aren't gonna be too happy when they wake up," Rogue explained, sticking her thumb in the direction of the unconscious bodies on the dusty ground. The cute bartender looked disappointed. "But have ya got anythin' tah go?"

The bartender smiled again and went back into the bar. Rogue took the opportunity to zap the power from Lance. She knew that the xmen were looking for her, and hat this would alert them to her to her presence. However, she had an idea to slow them down. By now, the bartender had returned with a can of pepsi. He tossed it to her and she caught it with ease. Rogue looked at it quizzingly. She _was_ standing outside a bar, and the bartender didn't give her any alcohol!

"Don't want you drinking and driving, now!" He smiled.

Thankful for the bartender's concern for her wellbeing, Rogue walked up to him and kissed him on the cheek. "Thanks for that," she said, before making her way to her motorbike. She put the can in her backpack, figuring she'd save it for later, since she didn't know where she was going.

As she reached for her helmet, the smitten bartender called out to her, "Can I see you again?"

Rogue smiled at the poor guy. If he knew she was a mutant, he probably wouldn't have asked her that. "No.." Rogue replied, still smiling at him, flattered for him trying. She then put on her emerald green and black helmet and rode off, leaving Bayville.

--------------

Remy was getting seriously impatient. Jean had been in cerebro for an hour now. 'Surely it doesn't take _that_ long to find someone!' he thought to himself. He figured that maybe the professor heard it, because Xavier then explained to him 'If she hasn't found Rogue in 5 minutes, I'll tell her to stop searching."

Uncannily enough, the doors to cerebro opened just as the proceffor finished talking. Jean came running out. "I found her! But we have to be quick! She's leaving town!"

------------

Remy somehow managed to convince the professor to let him join the rest of the xmen when they headed to the bar Rogue had stopped at. Remy, looking more like a regular there than the rest of the squeaky-clean Xmen, he went in alone and talked to the bar tender.

"She's your girlfriend?" The bartender exclaimed. "Damn! She's some catch!"

Remy leaned against the bar. "What do ya mean?"

"She beat the hell out of these two guys and then said she had to go," The bartender explained.

"Did she say where she was headed?"

The bartender ran a hand through his scruffy hair. "Nah." He then looked at Remy and raised an eyebrow. "You two have a fight or somethin'?

"Somethin' like that." Remy then walked out of the bar and repeated to the others what the bartender had told him.

So far on the outskirts of Bayville, they guessed that Rogue probably headed out on the main highway closest to the bar. And so, they all got into the minivan and drove. However, a few miles out of Bayville, there was a roadblock of sorts. Kurt was forced to stop the car. Remy took the opportunity to get out and run up to the massive wall blocking the road. It was a wall of stone. Like a cliff sitting in the middle of the road.

Jean stood behind Remy as he looked up at the massive wall in front of them. "Remy don't get it," Remy said softly, knowing that someone was behind him.

Jean saw it when she was hooked up to cerebro. "Avalanche was one of the guys that Rogue beat up at the bar. She sapped him of his powers and I guess she used them to slow us down with this wall."

Remy placed a hand on the tall dark brown rock wall. "Nothin' can slow Remy down."


	14. ch14: aftermath

**Author's notes:** well well well.. only a few chapters left! Yay! Bout bloody time I wrapped this story up! I've been reading some evo fan fics and it inspired me to write a little cheeky section on Rogue and Remy. Lemme know what ya'll think and don't forget to review!

**Ch14: aftermath**

When Remy finally returned to the mansion, Xavier approached him and Jean, who was walking next to him. "I'm glad you're both here. I had Ororo search Rogue's room for any clue to where Rogue may have gone and she found something I'd like to ask you two about. Please come with me to my study." Remy looked at Jean and shrugged and they followed Xavier to his study.

Once they reached the study, Jean and Remy sat down and Xavier rolled his wheelchair around to the back of his desk. "Now, I know Jean is already aware of this," then Xavier turned to Remy. "But Remy, since you have been getting ..closer to Rogue lately, I wondered if you had any idea why Ororo found dried blood in Rogue's bathroom basin."

Jean looked to Remy for the answer, as she too had no idea why Rogue would have blood in her basin. Remy wasn't sure whether to let the others know about what Rogue had been up to. "Well," Remy began. He figured that he'd better tell them sooner or later. "Rogue's been so depressed lately that she's started cutting herself."

Jean put her hand up to her mouth in shock. Even Xavier was shocked that this was going on under his very nose. "It's very shocking to hear this, Remy," Xavier explained. "I did not realise that Rogue was in such a terrible state." He clasped his hands together in thought. "The situation has gotten all the more serious now. Our desperation for Rogue seems to have escalated. I fear what Rogue could do to herself if we don't find her soon."

----------------------

It had been a full week since Rogue ran away. For the first few days, Xavier let the others search nearby towns for Rogue, but with no avail. He called off the search, despite the fact that everyone protested. Since then, Xavier had been in cerebro every day, trying to find her. But the search was tiresome, because Rogue hadn't used her powers since she sapped Lance's powers.

Kurt, Scott, Kitty and Jean had forced Remy to sit down with them in Remy's room when the search was called off and tell them what really happened between Rogue, Logan and Remy.

"Like, Oh my God!" Kitty put her hands up to her mouth in shock. "It must be like, hard to have Rogue's memories of it all."

Remy ran his hands through his hair. "It has been. But Remy understand Rogue's guilt more than anything," he explained. Jean sat silently as Remy explained everything that had happened between Rogue and Logan and then revealed that the fight Logan had with Remy when Remy almost died was over Rogue. Jean felt guilty for not telling them that she'd known from the beginning and she didn't know how the others would react. She slowly put her hand up, like a student in class. "Guys.." She announced hesitantly, "I kinda have something to confess.." They all turned to face Jean. "I've known about this from the day after Rogue and Logan.. um.. did that.."

Scott got up off the desk he was sitting on and stared at his girlfriend. "You _knew_! Why didn't you say anything!" He yelled.

Jean was shocked by Scott's outburst. "I promised Rogue that I wouldn't!"

"Vy didn't you tell ze Professor at least?" Kurt asked.

"The professor already knew about it," Jean told them. When she saw the stunned looks on the other's faces, Jean was shocked at their behaviour. "You didn't know the Professor knew?" They still stood there all shocked. "He found out the same way I did. We could both sense something odd and sexual between Rogue and Logan. He threatened Logan that he'd send him away if they kept slee- ..doing _that_.."

Jean saw Remy's face curl at that comment. "Remy, I'm sorry," Jean pleaded. She could see that Remy was even more torn up about Rogue's departure than ever before.

He looked away from the others so they wouldn't see the tears welling up in his eyes. "It okay, mon ami. It not your fault. It's Remy's. Remy be the one to leave in the first place and to tell the world about Rogue and Wolverine.." Remy hated saying Logan's name anymore, so he used Logan's mutant name instead.

"It's not your fault, mein friend." Kurt tried to comfort Remy. He then stood up. "Come on guys. Let's leave Remy alone.."

Just as the others stood up, Remy turned back to them "Non, non.. it's alright, Kurt. Remy need some company."

Kitty smiled. "Like, Oh my god! Let's hire some movies and veg in Remy's room!"

Remy smiled sweetly at Kitty, despite the fact that he was depressed, "You always come up with great ways to cheer us up, Kitty."

------------------

It was Monday morning and it had been just over two weeks since Rogue had left. Kurt had been assigned to bring Logan his meals. Kurt didn't like it and had been trying to convince Kitty to do it instead all week. Kurt stood in the kitchen and loaded up a tray with toast, cereal and coffee to take to Logan. Kurt looked across the bench at Remy. Remy looked like shit. He was unshaven and had huge bags under his eyes from lack of sleep. He was watching everything Kurt was doing, yet at the same time, seemed to be in his own world.

Kurt, having finished loading the tray with Logan's breakfast, still needed the newspaper. The only thing was, Remy got to it first and had begun reading it, even though Remy didn't usually care about reading the paper. "Um.. Remy, I'm gonna need ze paper now.." Kurt commented.

Remy looked back at the paper and closed it. "Wolverine's grounded, so why does he still get special privileges?" Remy asked. Kurt reached for the paper, but Remy leaned forward and put his elbow on it. "Y'know, the Professor would've asked him t' leave if Rogue wasn't out there somewhere.."

Kurt didn't know what to do. He obviously took Remy's side but he still had to feed Logan. "I'm sorry Remy. Just let me give Logan zis breakfast and I'll be right back."

Remy lifted his elbow off the newspaper and Kurt put it on the tray before porting out of the kitchen.

Kurt made sure that he'd only port into Logan's room for a split second. Long enough to place the tray down onto the floor just inside the doorway and port out. This is how Kurt had been giving Logan his meals all week, which is probably why Xavier gave Kurt the task, because he wouldn't have to unlock the door to get into the room. 'Even though Kitty could also get into the room without unlocking the door, maybe Xavier gave me the job because I'm not at risk of Logan's 'charm's' like Kitty could be,' Kurt thought to himself.

Kurt ported back into the kitchen. Remy looked at Kurt, trying to seem interested. "Welcome back," Remy said unenthusiastically.

"Man! Zis sucks!" Kurt exclaimed. "Vy do I have to give Logan his meals? For doing..that.. to Rogue, I just wanna.." Kurt made strangling hand actions to emphasise how much he felt protective over his adoptive sister.

Remy seemed uninterested. "Remy not going near that animal. The professor won't let the girls near him and half the mansion don't know how to act around him. If you were the professor, wouldn't you want the guy who can get in and out of there the fastest to deliver th' food?" Remy commented.

Kurt hated how Remy was always in his own little world when they spoke. Remy did that a lot since Rogue left. He'd mope around the mansion or go to a bar or train in the danger room. Kurt felt sorry for Remy, but there was no way to help the poor guy out. Kurt watched as Remy folded his arms on the bench top and lay his head down on top of them.

"It's all Remy's fault, Kurt. Remy's to blame for all of it. Rogue's never coming back now," Remy sobbed, his face still in his arms.

Just then, Jean and Scott walked in, hand in hand. The first thing they saw was Remy. "Remy!" Jean called out as she ran towards him. Remy didn't respond. He was so consumed by guilt that he wasn't listening to what was being said around him. The next think he knew, he could hear the professor's voice. 'Remy, you're not to blame here.'

Jean mentally contacted the professor. He left cerebro and came to the kitchen as fast as his wheelchair allowed him to. When he arrived there, Jean had already used her telekinetic powers to put Remy to sleep.

"What's the matter?" Xavier asked. It was a stupid question. They all knew that Remy was seriously depressed.

"We think Remy needs help. He's killing himself over Rogue running away!" Jean replied.

"And how he's been coming home drunk a lot. He's definitely not well," Kurt added.

"And he's not sleeping. Is there any way for us to help him, professor?" Scott asked.

Xavier felt guilty for neglecting his students. "I'm glad you all brought this information to me. I am sorry for spending all my time in cerebro the past two weeks. I didn't realise how bad Remy's condition had gotten. Kurt, teleport him to the infirmary," Xavier instructed. "We'll have to sedate him for now, while I work with his unconscious mind."

------------------

_-Two years ago-_

"Get outah mah face, Swamp rat!" Rogue yelled as she pushed Remy out of the way. Jean's powers were acting up and accidentally read Rogue's thoughts.. again. Rogue hated it when Jean read her thoughts and after lashing out on Jean, she also lashed out on anyone who crossed her path as she made her way to her bedroom.

Rogue stormed her way to her room and slammed the door behind her when she got there. She was still sharing a room with Kitty then and was glad the little half-pint wasn't there. Sometimes she hated how Kitty was always so bubbly. Rogue was a lot angrier back then too, so forcing her to share a room with Kitty was a big no no.

Rogue walked over to the balcony and grabbed her ipod on the way. She selected her Korn album and cranked up the volume so that it was loud enough that she wouldn't be able to hear anyone. She wasn't in the mood to talk. The Cajun however, had different ideas.

Rogue leaned forward on the railing and looked out at the garden. Storm had done a magnificent job at tending to it and it was one thing that helped Rogue regain her self-composure.

Rogue, still listening to her ipod, didn't hear Remy knocking on her bedroom door. She didn't hear him opening the door and walking into her room. Remy stood at the doorway that lead to the balcony and watched Rogue for a few minutes. She still wore her heavy gothic make up back then. She wore her green singlet top with the green mesh top over it. Her black leather skirt rode up a little at the back as she leaned forward onto the railing. When she didn't know was that Remy was staring right at her skirt, at how if it inched up just that little bit higher, he wouldn't be able to stop himself from risking skin on skin contact with Rogue!

Rogue bobbed her head to the beat and hummed to the tune. She saw Scott, Jean, Kitty and Kurt in Scott's car, driving out of the garage. Jean was wearing her soccer uniform, so Rogue knew instantly that they were headed to watch Jean play that night. Rogue leaned a little more over the balcony to see if Logan and Xavier were going with them to the game.

However, Remy didn't see what Rogue was looking at, so when he saw Rogue lean over dangerously, "Rogue!" He yelled as he ran right to her and grabbed her around the waist to stop her from falling and pulled her backwards. The only thing was, Remy tripped and they both went crashing backwards onto the ground. Rogue didn't hear him and let out a loud scream of surprise and accidentally dropped her ipod over the ledge as he grabbed her. Rogue landed on top of Remy, with her back to him.

Remy was still holding her around the waist. Remy grunted as he was squished between the ground and Rogue's body. "Oh Chere, y'know how Remy like it when you on top.." He teased, unable to help himself because of the position they were in.

Rogue wasn't impressed. "What the hell do ya think yah doin', Remy!" Rogue yelled.

She lifted herself up by pushing down on Remy's chest, making him groan with the extra weight on him. "Yah made me lose mah ipod!"

Remy was hurt. "Remy only tryin' t'save you, Chere," He explained. "Remy see you leaning dangerously over the edge and he panicked."

Rogue saw the sincerity in his eyes and saw that for once, he wasn't joking. He really did think she was going to fall. "Well," she smiled. "As long as it wasn't an excuse for you tah grab mah hips, Swamp rat!"

Remy grinned. "Maybe it was, Chere. Oh and Remy realise something," he replied as he stood up.

Rogue crossed her arms and leaned on one leg. "Yah realised yah dropped ma $300 ipod?"

Remy waved a hand, dismissing the ipod. "Don' worry, Chere. Remy steal you another one!" He replied. Rogue snorted at the 'stealing' remark. "Remy realise you called him by name for the first time!"

Until Remy mentioned it, Rogue never realised that she'd been calling him 'Gambit', 'swamp rat', and 'cajun' for the past year. "So ah did. Congratulations, Remy," Rogue said sarcastically. "Yah thought ah didn't know ya name all this time?" Rogue teased.

Remy walked closer to Rogue. "Remy know you knew his name," Remy replied softly. He lifted Rogue's hand to his lips. He looked into her bright emerald eyes and smiled. "Remy loves you," He said softly, in his seductive tone, before finally kissing Rogue's gloved hand.

Rogue pulled her hand away from Remy. "What?" She exclaimed. "You.. how!" Rogue couldn't comprehend what he'd just said! "Why?"

Remy smiled. He didn't understand how Rogue would be so shocked from what he'd said. After all, he'd been trying to make moves on Rogue since they'd first met and he'd made his feelings known from the very beginning. He knew that Rogue had feelings for him but he thought that maybe she thought he wasn't being serious.. "What? You think Remy be lying the last year?"

Rogue looked at him, a little embarrassed. "Maybe." Rogue tried to walk past him, but Remy held her gloved hand as she reached him. Rogue looked at their hands, fingers laced together. "Remy, ah dunno about this.." She tried to pull her hand away from him, but Remy wouldn't let go. She had to play this game, Remy's way.

"Remy not gonna hurt you, Chere," Remy explained.

Before Remy knew it, Rogue had pushed him up against the wall and leaned up against him. Remy couldn't believe that Rogue was willingly pushing her bodess up against his. He felt his body begin to heat up. He looked deep into Rogue's eyes and tried to figure out what she was doing and what was with the sudden behaviour. Rogue stood on her tippy toes until she her lips were so close to Remy's he was sure that he wouldn't be able to stop himself from kissing her. Remy felt her thighs up against his, her stomach up against his and her chest up against his. She was turning him on more than she realised. He moved his hands up to Rogue's waist. 'God, she's so beautiful!'

Rogue saw in his eyes the affect she was having on Remy and just how dangerous it was for her to have a boyfriend. "Ah'm not scared of ya hurting me," Rogue said in the most seductive voice she could muster. 'What the hell am ah doing!' She thought to herself. 'Ah can't believe ah'm doing this!' Rogue was careful to not touch Remy as she moved her lips across Remy's face and close to his right ear. He could feel her hot breath on his earlobe and he was dangerously close to becoming hard. "Ah'm scared ah'm gonna hurt _you,_" Rogue said before pulling away from Remy.

Remy, now unable to stop his bodily functions, became rock hard and he wasn't sure if Rogue felt it as she leaned up against him. His questions were answered when she pulled away and the first thing she did was bite her bottom lip to stop herself from smiling. She looked down at the bulge in Remy's pants. Rogue had never had that affect on any guy before, so it was kind of exciting.

"Remy," Rogue said, pointing to his.. member. "_This_ is why ah can't be with yah."

Remy tried to cover the bulge with his hands, but it wasn't making it go away! "It's not Remy's fault you're so hot!" Remy complained. "Y' know there be ways around not touching, Rogue. Remy not scared of your powers."

Rogue leaned back on the railing. "How can we possibly work _around_ my curse!" She didn't want to hurt herself by getting into a relationship with Remy. And she didn't want to hurt Remy either!

Remy rubbed his chin in thought for a few seconds. He walked back into Rogue's room and to her drawers. She saw him begin to rummage through her drawers. "Hey! What are yah doin'!" She called out as she followed him into her room.

Before she could protest more, Remy pulled out her long black sheer scarf. "Get on the bed," Remy instructed.

Rogue put her hands on her hips. "Say what?"

Remy smiled. "Just get on the bed, Chere. Remy said he not gonna hurt ya."

Rogue rolled her eyes and got on the bed. "Lie down," Remy instructed. He saw Rogue look at him all confused. He walked closer to the bed. "It's okay, Rogue. Lie down."

Rogue wasn't sure what to expect from Remy, but she didn't think he'd intentionally hurt her. So she lay down, flat on her back. She saw Remy reach the bed. He crawled onto it and straddled her hips. Rogue had never been so physically close to anyone before and wasn't sure how to react. "Do you trust Remy?" He asked.

Rogue nodded. "Close your eyes," He instructed. Rogue took one look at the sheer scarf and then closed her eyes. She felt Remy's body weight shift as he leaned closer to her. She could hear from his breathing and from the weight of his body on top of her that he was leaning close to her face. "Now don't panic," Remy instructed. Before Rogue could ask why she would panic, she felt the material of the sheer scarf on her lips and then she felt warmth on her lips. Remy was kissing her with the sheer material between them. Albeit wasn't the real thing, but Rogue could still feel the warmth of his lips and the moisture of his tongue as he licked her bottom lip.

Rogue brought her hand up around the back of Remy's head. She didn't want him to stop. She felt Remy's hand move down to her hips, and he began to rub her hipbone with his thumb. Rogue had never felt like this ever before. She moaned in extacy as she ran her other gloved hand up Remy's back and inside his shirt.

After what felt like mere seconds, Remy pulled away. Rogue let out a moan in protest and then looked into his demon eyes. "Wow!" She whispered, in awe of what had just happened.

Remy smirked. "That only the beginning, Chere."

**Author's notes:** so what did you guys think?


	15. ch15: Bleeding to the Core

**Author's notres:** -_sniff-_ I can't believe it! I'm gonna be so sad! This story is coming to an end! This was originally meant to be the last chapter, but I've lengthened it out over two chapters (prob because I don't want my story to end!) This has become my favourite fic! And I plan for it to end with _such an end_ that it'll make you guys laugh, cry and sigh! Please Please review!

**Ch15: Bleeding to the Core**

Xavier entered the infirmary and looked at Remy's unconscious body. He'd kept Remy sedated overnight for fear that Remy might do something drastic in the depressed stare he was in. Not that drinking, not insomnia and feeling nothing but guilty for Rogue running away wasn't drastic enough! Honestly, Xavier wasn't entirely sure on how to make Remy feel better without using his powers to alter Remy's memories. And being the moral man he was, Xavier just couldn't do that. He knew the only way for Remy to be back to the normal suave and collected young man he used to be was to find Rogue and sort things out with her. But there in lay the problem; Rogue was nowhere to be found. Xavier had searched and searched for her using cerebro, but America was a large country, and Rogue could have gone anywhere.

"Don't worry, Remy," Xavier said to the unconscious young man, "We'll find her."

-----------

In the kitchen, Kurt was again preparing Logan's breakfast. Instead of Remy sitting across from him at the bench, Kitty, Scott and Jean were there. "Man!" Kurt exclaimed, dropping the two slices of toast on the tray. "Zis is stupid!" Kurt crossed his arms. "I don't vant to be ze one to give Logan his meals. I hate zat guy!"

Scott, Jean and Kitty stared blankly at their blue friend. He'd been complaining the last few weeks about being given the responsibility, but it was the first time he'd mentioned that he hated Logan. Kurt looked at his three friends, who were just sitting there, stunned. "Vat?"

"It's just like, you've been complaining about giving Logan his meals, but you like, never said that you hated him!" Kitty explained. Jean and Scott nodded in agreement.

Kurt crossed his arms. "Every time I port to his room, I have to port right out of zer or else I'm scared I'll start an argument wiz him for seducing my sister!" Kurt growled. "And zen what happens if he stabs me like he stabbed Remy! He almost killed Remy! If it wasn't for Rogue, Remy vould be dead!"

Scott nodded. "Point taken," he commented. "But someone has to bring him his food.."

All four of them sat silently. None of them wanted to bring him his lunch. Then Kurt looked at Kitty. She realised he was staring at her. "What?"

"You can phase through ze door.." Kurt began to suggest, but was cut off by Kitty.

"Like, No frikk'n way! I'm not going to give him his breakfast! I can't like, even look at him without getting grossed out!"

Scott nodded. "The thought of Logan with Rogue is just.."

"Hey!" Jean scolded. "Are you saying you hate Rogue too?" Jean glared at Scott. She was surprised her boyfriend would even talk about Rogue like that. Scott after all, _did_ have a crush on Rogue when they first met.

Scott was surprised by Jean's outburst. "What the!" He put his hands up defensively. "I didn't say that! I meant-"

"Rogue's our friend!" Jean exclaimed, cutting Scott off before he could explain. "She hid her relationship with Logan because she knew you guys wouldn't be able to look at her the same again!"

Scott put his hand on Jean's shoulder in an attempt to calm her down. "Jean, We're not-"

Jean didn't want to hear it. She moved her shoulder away from Scott's hand and stood up. "No! What's going to happen when we find Rogue? You're all going to be happy she's back, but then you guys are forever going to look at her differently! Logan's the one who's really in the wrong, and Rogue's not the-"

"Jean! JEAN!" Kitty squealed, stopping Jean from continuing her rant. "We all still love Rogue!"

"Yeah," Kurt backed her up. "Ve're not going to view Rogue differently. Ve all vant her back."

Scott nodded. "_Finding_ her is the big problem!" The others nodded in agreement. "Where do you guys think she went?" Jean, satisfied that her boyfriend still saw Rogue as their friend, sat back down next to him. This time when he put his hand around her shoulders, she let him. She looked at Scott and he smiled at her, glad that his girlfriend wasn't mad at him anymore.

Still on the topic of where Rogue could have gone to, Kitty suggested, "Beverly Hills?"

Kurt smiled. Poor Kitty constantly had expensive mansions and clothes on the brain. "No, somehow I don't zink Rogue would so somewhere so.."

"Pretentious?" Jean joked. Kitty gasped, mouth wide-open at Jean's remark. But Jean continued before kitty could protest at what Jean had said. "If I had to ever escape, I'd probably go somewhere familiar.."

Scott looked at Jean suspiciously. "Familiar? Thought about running away have we?" He joked.

Jean playfully hit him in the arm. "I _mean_ that I wouldn't just catch a bus to anywhere! I'd go somewhere I'd been before," She explained.

Kurt had an idea. "Would she go back home?.. you know, back wiz zat blind lady?" Kurt wracked his brain trying to remember her name. It had been more than three years since they flew down there to recruit Rogue. Kurt then clicked his fingers when he remembered the name, "Irene! ..Destiny.. whatever she wants to call herself."

Scott pursed his lips in thought. "I don't think so.. I mean, why go back to that woman? She works for Mystique!"

"True," Kurt replied. "And we all know zat Rogue doesn't vant to go back to ze brozerhood and Mystique.."

----------------------

Logan paced up and down his bedroom. For the first time since being confined to his room, the elf hadn't brought him his food. Being restricted to his room, he couldn't exactly go out to the kitchen to get it either.

It was getting close to lunchtime now and Logan was getting frustrated. He was stuck in this 'cube' and hadn't even had any social interactions. He didn't know what to expect, being stuck in his bedroom, but he didn't expect to be by himself for so long. Still being in his bedroom obviously meant they hadn't found Rogue yet. 'I'd give anything to be out there, finding her myself!' Logan thought to himself. 'I would have tracked her down within days if stupid Xavier didn't lock me in here!'

There was a knock at the door. At first, Logan shit himself, thinking maybe it was Xavier and that he'd heard Logan's thoughts. It was after the door unlocked and opened, that Logan calmed down. "Ororo," Logan said as he saw his old friend enter the room. He smiled weakly at her, thankful that she wasn't Xavier.

Storm nodded, "Logan." She closed the door behind herself. "It's been a long time," She commented as she walked towards his bed. Logan watched as Ororo sat herself down at the foot of his bed. Logan followed suit and sat next to her.

He sighed to himself. "Yeah, it has." He ran his hand through his hair. "Still no luck finding Rogue?"

Ororo wasn't surprised that Logan was asking about Rogue. From what she'd heard from Jean and Xavier, Logan was infatuated with the poor girl. "Charles has been using cerebro day in day out for the last two weeks. Rogue's smart and hasn't been using her powers," she explained.

"We _did_ train her well, didn't we?" Logan replied, trying to lighten the mood. His gruff voice unable to hide his sadness.

Ororo lifter her hand to Logan's shoulder, in an attempt to comfort her friend, but then stopped herself before her hand touched his shoulder. She returned her hand back to her own lap, unsure of how to react around her friend. Logan went against everything Ororo stood for. She wanted the mansion to be a safe haven for the students. Logan, Xavier, Hank and herself were teachers at the mansion, and to her the student-teacher ethics still applied. She wasn't present when the argument broke out where Remy slipped the secret of Rogue and Logan's relationship, but found out pretty fast. Xavier filled her in on the situation when they realised that Rogue had run away.

"Logan.." Ororo began, unsure of how to ask the dreaded question. She looked at the floor. She didn't know what to do. In the end, she realised it was best to just say it. "Why did you do it?" She asked, finally looking into Logan's eyes.

Logan had a feeling that she'd want to ask him about himself and Rogue. There were many ways to answer the question and he could have her there all night explaining it. He leaned forward, leaning his elbows on his knees. "Started off as alcohol and loneliness.." He replied honestly. "And then it turned to need ..and love.."

Ororo realised how much Logan had fallen for Rogue in such a short time when he mentioned the word 'love'. "Oh, Logan.." She sighed. Having finally asked Logan the question that she'd been wanting to ask him for a while, she had nothing left to say to her old friend and left Logan alone, once again.

---------------------------

Xavier sat at Remy's side as the young man finally woke up. Remy rubbed his eyes and surveyed the room. He realised he was in the infirmary, in the very room Rogue was in, only a few weeks prior when she saved his life. "Rogue," Remy whispered, thinking about his runaway girlfriend.

Xavier placed his hand on Remy's shoulder. "Remy, are you alright?" He asked softly.

Remy sat up, still feeling sleepy from the sedatives. "Yeah, think so," he replied. Thinking about how the last thing he remembered was being in the kitchen with the others, Remy asked, "What happened?"

"I felt it best to sedate you overnight. Jean, Scott, Kurt and Kitty were worried about you in the kitchen yesterday morning. Jean used her powers to put you to sleep. I'm sorry Remy," Xavier apologised. He saw the confused look on Remy's face. "I've been spending my days using cerebro to find Rogue and it's resulted in my neglecting you and the other students. I had no idea how bad this situation has gotten for you. I-"

Remy threw his hands up in the air. "Remy just fine, professor!" He explained, cutting Xavier off. Remy hopped off the side of the bed. He didn't want to hear any more apologies unless it was coming out of his own mouth and directed at Rogue.. "Remy want nothing more than to find Rogue." He said bluntly as he left the room.

Xavier didn't think he'd said anything to anger Remy. He wanted to go after Remy and see what was wrong, but Xavier already knew the root of Remy's problems were all surrounding Rogue and her disappearance. And so, Xavier sighed to himself and returned to cerebro. He felt guilty, knowing that the cause for his guilt was because he'd been spending all his time in cerebro and neglecting the students.

-----------------------------

Remy walked angrily out of the infirmary and towards the Rec room. He wasn't exactly sure himself why he got angry at the professor. He knew that the professor was just trying to help, but Remy didn't want to hear it. He wanted nothing more than to get Rogue back. It was written on his face as clear as day. Everyone knew it and that it was the cause for Remy's sudden shift in behaviour. He reached in his pocket for his pack of cigarettes, but they weren't there! "Goddammit!" He groaned as he realised that no doubt, it was Xavier who'd confiscated them off him when he was sedated. The inability to relax with a cigarette only made Remy more frustrated. "Remy can't stay here anymore! Need t' be out there finding Rogue!" He groaned to himself.

Remy finally reached the Rec room. Kurt, Scott and Kitty were watching TV on the couch and Jean was flipping through a magazine on the armchair.

Remy walked in and plopped down on the empty armchair opposite Jean and sighed. His depressed state was the opposite of the reactions from the other four, who were glad to have him back.

"Remy!" Kitty exclaimed. "Like, you're okay!"

Remy nodded and gave a weak smile in her direction. "Remy fine, Kitty. Just want Rogue back."

Jean stopped flicking through her magazine. "We all do, Remy. Don't worry. We'll find her, I'm sure of it."

"Yeah, well," Remy groaned. "Staying here isn't going to.." Remy drifted off when something on the TV caught his eye. There was a newsbreak about a crash South of Bayville. The others looked at the screen when they realised Remy had found something more interesting than the present conversation. Remy said to himself "That near Rogue's hometown."

"_..The motorcycle was found only minutes ago. The driver has yet to be found. Judging from the state of the motorcycle, it's a miracle the driver hasn't been found dead or seriously injured. Whether this was a case offoul playor a case of the driver simply losing control of the vehicle has yet to be determined…"_

"Oh my God!" Kitty called out. Remy sat motionless, in utter shock. On the TV was Rogue's emerald green motorbike that they'd all pitched in and bought her for her 21st birthday only months before. The motorbike looked like it had tumbled numerous times and had smashed into a tree on the side of the road.

"Where… Where's Rogue?" Jean asked. "How can she not be there!"

Scott leaned forward, as if leaning closer to the TV would help him to survey the wreckage better. "The way the bike is.. How would she be able to walk away from that?"

"Ve have to tell ze professor," Kurt exclaimed before porting out of the room and to find the professor.

Remy stared at the screen and searched in the crowd that were surrounding the crash, for any sign that Rogue was there, but he couldn't see her anywhere. "Rogue's out there somewhere. Remy has to go find her!" Remy said aloud as he got up off the armchair.

Scott got up also. "I'm coming with you."

Jean stood up also. "We're _all_ coming with you."

------------

Rogue pushed her hand down on her side, just above hip, hoping to stop the bleeding. She didn't get cut badly, but she still needed to stop the bleeding. She limped through the forest towards the place she once called home. She turned around and saw the flashing lights of the police, ambulance and fire brigade in the distance. She knew the crash would let the Xmen know where she was. She knew how the law worked. The police would run the plates on her bike and find the address for the mansion. She'd also left her backpack there with all her clothes and her wallet. They'd soon figure out that she'd crashed right near her hometown.

"Let's hope.. They don't figure out Ah'm going back tah Irenes," Rogue groaned to herself. She coughed when she pushed down on her side a little too hard. Her eyes fluttered, struggling to remain open. She needed to lie down, but not yet. If she lay down now, she'd be found and returned back to the mansion. "Can't go back.. Ah won't go back to them.. Can't see the look on their faces again!"

She stumbled on a log she didn't see in front of her. "Can't lie down.. keep goin.." Rogue told herself, forcing herself to get off the ground and continue limping towards her old home.

----------------

Remy ran down to the hanger as fast as his feet could carry him. Scott, Jean, Kitty and Kurt fell behind, going to the professor first to tell him about the news report and to see if he could find Rogue using cerebro (now that they had an area to pinpoint her in).

Remy didn't care whether the others said they were going with him or not. He was planning on flying the X-jet out of there as soon as he could, not even wanting to wait for the others to catch up before he took off.

He reached the hanger doors and punched the panel to open it. When the doors opened, Remy's jaw dropped. The X-jet had a huge dint on the nose of the plane. Forge and Bobby were both standing on a raised platform, and seemed to be fixing the dint.

"What th' hell happened?" Remy called out! He ran up to Forge and Bobby.

"Yeah.." Bobby looked embarrassed. "I tried to take the X-Jet for a spin, and kinda forgot that to take off, the hanger doors need to be open.." Bobby explained, red from embarrassment. "And Forge came over to help fix it.."

Remy put his hands on his head in defeat. The X-jet was un-flyable with a dint in the nose. It wouldn't be ready to fly until it was fixed. Remy wasn't prepared to wait that long. "You took the plane for a joyride AGAIN?" Remy yelled angrily. His reaction took the other two by surprise. "Why do you stupid kids keep trying to fly this thing?" Remy flew his hands up in defeat and stomped off, still yelling out loud. "Rogue could be DYING somewhere and we can't get to her coz of youstupid KIDS!"

Remy was almost out the door when Forge called out, "I'll be done here in a couple of hours!" But a couple of hours wasn't soon enough for Remy.

------------------

Rogue breathed a sigh of relief when she recognised the front door of her old home. Irene kept her own mutant gifts hidden from Rogue when she was living there, but Xavier told Rogue how Irene has the ability to see possible futures. She guessed that maybe Irene knew Rogue was coming.

'Maybe she'd have some chicken soup ready,' Rogue joked to herself. She limped up to her doorway and knocked on the door. Almost instantly, Irene opened the door and if the woman weren't blind she would have seen Rogue bloodied and bruised standing in her doorway.

"Rogue!" Irene smiled. "I knew you were coming," She commented.

Rogue's eyes struggled to stay open. She was desperate to lie down, sleep or pass out. "Ah.. Ah know ah ran out on yah, Irene.. But can ah.. stay here?" Rogue asked, feeling guilty for running back to the woman who looked after her and then she ran out on like an ungrateful child. "Ah've got nowhere else to go.." Rogue whispered like an ashamed child.

Irene loved Rogue like she were her own child, even though she was really only babysitting Rogue for Mystique. She couldn't physically _see_ Rogue, but in her visions, she saw what Rogue looked like right now and all the injuries she'd gotten from the crash. Irene nodded, stepping out of the way so Rogue could enter the house.

Rogue walked over to the couch and sat down, wincing in pain as her back hit the couch.

"How did this happen?" Irene asked. It was a dumb question for someone to ask if they had already seen the future, but Irene never deprived Rogue of conversation just because she already knew the answer. Irene walked into the bathroom and wet a towel with warm water. She came back into the living room and handed the towel to Rogue so she could clean herself up.

Rogue took the towel and put it on her lap. She lifted her top and tried to clean up the cut she'd gotten, but groaned when she tried to lift her arms up. She figured that maybe she'd cracked a rib in the crash. "Ah haven't slept in two days," Rogue began to explain. "Ah originally started heading for New York, but ran into some anti-mutant group. They started following me when they realised ah was a mutant, so ah changed directions. Ah think ah lost them but ah didn't wanna stop until ah got here," Rogue gave up trying to clean herself up and held the wet towel in her hands. "Ah didn't stop to sleep in case ah hadn't lost them. That's why ah fell asleep when ah was driving. Next thing ah knew, ah lost control of the bike and was thrown off it. Ah landed somewhere in the forest. When ah realised where ah was, I tried to run here on foot," Rogue explained.

Irene nodded at Rogue's explanation. "You made the right decision coming here. I'm glad you felt this place was still safe for you. I'll go make you some cocoa to help you sleep," Irene explained, turning towards the kitchen.

Rogue groaned to herself as she stood up off the couch. "Ah'm.. Ah'm sorry, Irene," Rogue apologised.

Irene turned back around to face Rogue. "What for?"

Rogue looked back at the couch. "Ah've stained you're couch.." She explained, referring to the massive bloodstain she'd made.

Irene smiled warmly at Rogue. "It's alright, Rogue," she reassured the tired and distraught girl.

"Ah'll clean it for you tomorrow.. Is that okay?" Rogue asked.

Irene nodded. "You need to rest. If you can, try have a shower so you feel more refreshed before you sleep," Irene suggested before heading, once more, towards the kitchen.

Rogue nodded to herself and was about to head to the bathroom, but changed her mind and walked into the kitchen instead. She saw Irene doing just as she'd said; she was making Rogue a hot chocolate. "Irene?"

"Hmm?"

"You know what made me leave the mansion, dont'cha?" Rogue asked quietly.

Irene nodded, still preparing the hot chocolate. "We don't need to talk about it if you don't want to. All I care about is your safety now. Go wash up and then you can rest for as long as you need to recuperate."

--------------------------

_Left my childhood behind in a rollaway bed  
Everything was so damn simple  
Now I'm losing my head, losing my head  
Trying to cover up the damage  
and pat out all the bruises  
Too young to know I had it so it didn't hurt to lose it_

_Didn't hurt to lose it, didn't hurt to lose it  
But oh, I'll keep on rolling down this road  
But I've got a bad bad feeling_

_It's gonna take a long time to love  
it's gonna take a lot to hold on  
It's gonna be a long long way to happy  
left in the pieces you broke me into  
torn apart but now I've got to  
Keep on rolling like a stone  
'Cause it's gonna be a long long way to happy_

_(Long way to Happy – Pink)_

--

**Author's notes:** well well well.. ONE CHAPTER LEFT! NOOOoooooo! My baby is coming to an end! I'm not gonna let this story lag and lag.. so I'm gonna end it. And hopefully you guys enjoy the ending. What will happen to Logan? Will they find Rogue? Will Rogue forgive Remy? Next chapter should hopefully be up in a couple of weeks. Don't forget to review! Let me know what you think about this chapter! I really am curious as to what you guys think!


	16. Ch16: Sorry’s, Goodbyes & Happy Endings

**Author's notes: _T_**_his is THE very last chapter of my story- no epilogues, no sequels. Finito la musica! Adios Amigo! I've been busting to write this chapter for so long now, and I can't believe it's about to come to an end! I've really enjoyed writing this story and I hope you have all enjoyed reading it! _

_-There's one part with Rogue dreaming. The two 'personalities' aren't personalities she'd absorbed.. but more like the good and evil consciences we all have. Like the little devil and angel on the shoulders thing._

_Please, don't forget to review and let me know what you think of the ending! I've tried to keep the ending as original as I could and tried to stray from the usual 'they all lived happily ever after' fluff. **But** I do believe in ending a story with a smile on your face. Enjoy the story and on with the show! _

**Chapter 16: Sorry's, Goodbyes and Happy Endings.**

"You've got t' be fuck'n kiddin' me!" Remy yelled.

"Remy!" Jean scolded, "Language!"

"Forge says the X-jet needs more parts and until we can get them in, the X-jet can't fly," Xavier explained.

Remy threw his hands up in the air in frustration. "This is ridiculous! I hope ya gave Bobby a punishment hard enough to never make him wanna touch that stinkin' Jet AGAIN!"

"Rest assured, Bobby will receive a proper punishment, along with the other students that attempted to stow aboard with him," Xavier reassured. "With the jet out of commission, we'll have to drive to-"

"Drivin' ain't fast enough!" Remy complained. "Rogue could be hurt, or even worse, _dying_ out there! It'll take us days to get there!"

"Ve'll drive non stop," Kurt butt in. "Ve'll take ze minivan. Drive in shifts. If ve don't, it could take us nearly four days to get zere."

"It sounds acceptable, but I don't want to risk any of you falling asleep at the wheel," Xavier replied.

"Remy not sleeping until he find Rogue," Remy said. "With or without yo' help!"

-----------------------------------

Rogue sat at the small round kitchen table. It was only Rogue and Irene living there for many years, and they never really had visitors, so there was no reason for a larger dining table. She tried to clean up her cuts in the shower, but the water on her open cuts only brought more excruciating pain, so she gave up on the idea of a shower.

Rogue stopped stirring her black coffee and put the end of the spoon in her mouth. Having cleaned the coffee off the spoon, she lifted the spoon up in front of her face and looked at her reflection. The spoon had flipped her reflection upside down, but she could still see the ugly scrape across her forehead. It was now turning a deep purple colour around the newly formed scabs.

'Fuck, yah look like yah've been through hell,' Rogue thought to herself.

Irene sat at the table next to Rogue. "Are you feeling any better?"

Rogue nodded, even though she knew Irene was blind to it. "Ah little. Ah'm still sore all over though," she replied, rubbing her bruised thigh in an attempt to soothe the pain.

"Your wounds will heal over time," Irene explained.

"But ah don't think ah'll be in this house long enough to see them heal," Rogue sighed. "Everyone must've heard about the accident. They'll all be coming tah get me."

Irene's hand slid across the table, trying to find Rogue's. Rogue placed her hand atop Irene's. "You don't have to leave here if you don't want to, Rogue," Irene explained. Rogue stayed silent, not truly believing Irene's words. "If the Xmen come, they can't take you forcefully. I won't let them."

Rogue nodded, not feeling like talking. But she had to ask, "If ah stay here.. and not go back with the xmen, are yah gonna tell mystique ah'm here?"

Irene shook her head. "No."

Rogue was surprised by her answer. "But.. You work for her.."

Irene nodded. "Yes, and no. When she adopted you, she asked me to look after you. At the time I _was_ working for her in a way. But looking after you for so many years, I feel like you're part of my family now," Irene smiled at Rogue. "And after you left, I realised that I like the idea of being part of a family, rather than an alliance. I wouldn't want to give you up to Mystique or the Xmen."

--------------------

Rogue sat in her bedroom. The blinds were closed, but a small stream of light made its way into the room. The light available was enough to let Rogue see what she was doing. She sat on the floor next to her bed. She leaned back against the wall and her legs outstretched. Using her index finger, she poked and prodded her bruises and grazes on her right forearm. Rogue felt more at peace now that she was back at home. But at the same time, she knew it wouldn't last forever. She knew that either the Brotherhood or the Xmen would realise where she was.

"Ah'm such a screw up," Rogue whispered to herself. "How am ah gonna get outah this one?" Rogue began to pick at the newly formed scabs on her forearm. Her arm began to bleed again and the pain was immensely uncomfortable, but she welcomed it all the same. She left her blade in her backpack, which was left with her crashed motorcycle. So instead, she played with her fresh wounds.

------------------

Remy sat in the front passenger seat of the minivan. Kurt was driving and Jean, Scott and Hank were in the back. They'd been driving non-stop for 24 hours now, only stopping for meals and toilet breaks. The drive up was pretty silent, save for the radio.

"Remy, could you turn the music down a little?" Jean asked. "Hank's asleep back here," She explained. Hank had volunteered to be the overnight driver and now he was catching up on sleep in the back seat.

Remy did as instructed and turned the radio lower before returning his head to the window. "How much longer, Blue boy?" Remy asked Kurt. His voice was monotone, and showed his impatience.

Kurt raised an eyebrow at the 'blue boy' comment. "Not far. Maybe 6 hours? I don't vant to speed down zese roads. Ze professor already yelled at Scott for his speeding fine last week. He'd go bananas if I speed too!"

"Kurt!" Jean hushed. "Hank's sleeping! So lower the decibels, alright? Remy, we'll get there as soon as we can, so just be patient."

Remy turned and looked at Kurt, with a look of realisation on his face. "Port us."

Kurt looked at him quickly before returning his eyes to the road. "Nein!"

"Why not?" Remy asked. "We'd get there a lot faster!"

Jean and Scott were both listening in no the conversation. "He's got a point there," Scott added.

Kurt pulled the car over to the side of the road and stopped. The other three protested so loudly that even Hank woke up wondering what was going on. Kurt turned and looked at his friends angrily. "I just can't port us like zat! I don't know ze roads here so we could end up in the middle of a tree, and we could end up crashing into anozer car!" Kurt yelled.

Hank, waking up from the argument, only caught the bum end of the conversation. "Is this volume level really necessary?" He groaned as he was still not fully awake.

Kurt turned off the ignition and removed the car keys. "My povers have limits! Ve all vant Rogue back, but I just cant get us zere without risk of porting into a tree or somezing!" Kurt then turned to Remy. "So just chill, dude! Ve'll get zere!"

Jean put her hand on Kurt's shoulder. "We _all_ understand," Jean explained, eyeing Remy as she said it. "Now, let's get back on the road."

Kurt nodded and looked at Remy, who nodded back. Kurt then started the engine and they were on the road again.

After a few minutes, Scott's mobile phone began to ring. It was Xavier. "Scott, how close are you to Rogue's old home?" Xavier asked.

Scott looked at his watch. "About 6 or so hours away, I think."

"Good. Forge managed to get the parts we need for the X-jet sooner than we thought. We'll be in the air within the hour and we'll most likely arrive at the same time as you. I will contact you again in 6 hours."

-------------------------

Logan paced up and down his bedroom. He saw the footage of Rogue's crashed motorcycle on the news. The reporters were having a field day because the driver was missing. 'The case of the missing driver' had been all over the news for almost 3 days now.

"Logan?"

Logan heard Ororo's voice through the door. "Yes?"

The doorknob turned and his white-haired friend entered the room. "I've just come to tell you that Xavier's found Rogue. She's gone back down south and is staying with Irene."

Logan felt relieved that they'd finally pin pointed her location. 'I would have found her weeks ago if they didn't lock me in here!' He thought to himself. "Are you going to go get her?" Logan asked.

Ororo nodded, "Kurt, Remy, Hank, Jean and Scott left almost 3 days ago. Now that the X-jet's back in commission, the rest of the xmen are heading off in a few minutes."

Logan raised an eyebrow at his friend, "The _rest_ of us?" Thinking maybe he was also invited to go.

Ororo looked down at the floor, knowing fully what Logan thought about her comment. "I'm sorry, Logan. You are staying behind. I am also to remain here to look after the younger students."

------------------------

Remy's hopes of having Rogue come back home was soon coming true. He, along with Kurt, Jean, Scott and Hank had met up with Xavier and Kitty, who came in the X-jet, and were now standing at Rogue's doorway. It was now after dinnertime. The summer warmth had attracted the cicadas and their shrill song was all they could hear. The light just above the front door was already on and moths were fluttering around it. Jean knocked on the door and they all waited.

After about 10 seconds, the front door opened. It was Irene. "I've been expecting you all," She said, not needing to see who had come to her door.

"My name's Charles Xavier. We've-" He began but was cut off by Irene.

"Rogue wants to stay here," Irene explained. "She's made that very clear to me."

Remy glared at the blind woman. He came for Rogue and intended to take her home with him. "Remy not leaving without her, mon ami!" Remy tried to step around Irene to get in the door, but Irene wouldn't move.

She may have been blind, but she could still sense him heading towards her. "She's told me herself that she wants to stay here. Whatever happened to make her come here was too traumatic for her to want to go back."

"Please, Irene," Charles began to explain to Irene how they "intend to take Rogue home" with them.

As the two of them began to argue, Remy walked back a step to where he was originally standing and whispered to Kurt, "Port us in there." This time Kurt nodded at Remy's request of teleportation and put his hand on Remy's arm. The two boys ported into the house before anyone knew what they were doing. Kurt had ported them into the living room. They could hear Irene and Xavier were still arguing at the front door and returned to their main mission: to find Rogue.

Kurt and Remy walked through the living room and into the kitchen. No Rogue. They then tried room by room in the small house until they found a white door with a gothic rock band's poster stuck on it. It was the door to Rogue's room. Remy turned the handle slowly and pushed the door open. He was overwhelmed with relief that he was finally going to see Rogue again and to have the opportunity to apologise for what he'd said. But the only thing was that the boys weren't prepared for what they were about to see.

Remy walked into the dark bedroom with Kurt right behind him. They couldn't see anything, so Kurt found the light switch and turned the lights on. "Mein Got!" Kurt exclaimed when he saw Rogue. She was sitting on the floor next to her bed with her legs pulled up to her chest. She seemed to be in a daze with her head leaning back against the wall. Her arms were draped next to her with streams of dried blood all over her forearms. Her forehead had a massive bruise and graze across it and her left cheekbone had a newly formed scab where a small gash used to be.

"Rogue!" Remy called out as he ran to her side. Kurt followed suit and the two boys crouched down next to their friend. Rogue didn't reply at first, not fully acknowledging they were there. But after a moment, Rogue blinked a few times and looked at Kurt and Remy.

Her eyes widened and she grabbed Remy's arm. "Remy?" She asked, squeezing his arm to check if he was really there. "You're really here?" She asked, unable to comprehend that he was right there in front of her. She knew they'd come for her. Deep down, she did want to return to the x-mansion, but didn't know how to without any backlash over what had happened to make her run.

Remy nodded at Rogue's question and Rogue practically jumped into Remy's arms, almost making him fall backwards. Remy embraced his girlfriend. "Remy so sorry, Rogue. So sorry for what I said," Remy apologised. He wasn't sure how she'd react to his apology and was surprised when he heard Rogue burst out into tears. He ran his hand down the back of her head in an attempt to soothe her.

"Ah don't know what tah do," Rogue whimpered. "Ah can't go back.."

Kurt took the opportunity to check out Rogue's injuries. He could see that blood had seeped through her left side, from the cut she'd gotten just above her hip not complexly closing up. Her forehead didn't look too good and her arms showed that most likely she used them to protect herself during the crash. He then saw, amongst the blood, were almost 10 precise slices across her left forearm. Those he knew weren't from the crash because they weren't fresh and were already partially healed. "Rogue," Kurt said softly, "Ve need to go. Ve should let Hank check out your injuries."

Rogue pulled away from her hug with Remy and stared at him with wide, scared eyes. "Ah can't! They'll all stare at me! They all know about me! Ah can't go back to those stares! ..Ah've really messed things up for myself.. Haven't ah?"

"Non, chere. We all here to help fix things." Remy stood up, pulling Rogue up with him. "At least let Hank come in and check how bad your injuries are, mon ami," Remy suggested softly as he carefully ran his fingers over the huge bruised scrape across her forehead. Rogue pulled away and winced form the pain as his fingers touched her forehead. "Ah'm okay. Ah probably have a few cracked ribs and some scrapes. Ah'll be fine."

Kurt kept staring at the rows of cuts on her left arm. He knew what they were. It was obvious. "Rogue, ve need to get out of here."

Rogue realised he was staring at her arm. She was wearing a tank top so her arms weren't covered at all and even with the dried blood all over her arm, you could make out the cuts very easily. "Ah can't! You're already staring at me! Ah can't let the others know about my arms too!" Rogue yelled. Remy tried to put his arms around Rogue, but she pushed him away. "You're not listening tah me! Ah can't handle it! Ah don't want yah tah see me like this! Ah've become all fucked up. Ya'll are gonna always look at me and think how messed up ah am! Ah dont want that!" Rogue kept yelling. She sat back on her bed and began crying. She stared down at Remy and Kurt's feet as her vision became blurred with her tears. "Ah just want things to go back to normal. Ah want tah be with Remy and forget all about Logan. Ah want tah stop hating my life. Ah want everyone tah just leave me alone.." Rogue started rambling on as if the boys weren't even there.

Remy crouched down in front of Rogue. "Non, chere. We not leaving you alone. Remy loves you and not going t' let you keep doin' this to yo'self!" And then before Rogue could reply, Remy scooped Rogue up in his arms. She began to yell and push him away, but Remy only held her tighter.

"Let me go, swamprat! Ah can't go back!"

"Rogue!" Kurt tried to yell over her, "No-one sees you any differently! Ve all love you! Vy else vould we all come down here to bring you home?"

But Rogue wasn't listening. "Yah're just saying that. Ah know what everyone thinks of me! Ah don't wanna be 'the girl who sleeps with the teachers' or 'that girl who wreaked everything at the mansion'!" Rogue kept protesting, trying to push Remy away, but his arms were too powerful for her and wouldn't stop hugging her. The pressure of Remy's hands on her back was bringing on a blinding pain in her left ribs but she tried to ignore it. She wanted her old life back but knew that could never happen. She protested and pushed Remy. Her anxiety over going home and facing her demons was so high, she'd forgotten that she could have made him let go if she activated her absorption powers. "LET ME GO SWAMP RAT!"

Remy ignored her and turned to Kurt. "Port us to the X-jet," Remy instructed. Kurt nodded and did as he was told. When they got there, Kurt ran to the cargo hold and found some tranquillisers.

-----------------

"Would you _please_ listen to me!" Xavier yelled at Irene. Damn, that woman was stubborn. She had an idea that Kurt and Remy had ported inside the house, but it was no reason for her wanting to let the others in too.

"No!" Irene yelled back. "You're obviously not taking proper care of her, so why should I let you take her back!"

Xavier was at the end of his tether with this woman. He was about to use his powers to put her to sleep, when Remy was heard over the radio. "Professor, we got Rogue back at the X-jet. Remy had to sedate her, but she's safe."

-----------------

Remy looked at his blue furry friend. Finally having Rogue sedated, seemed to be a godsend at the moment. If it was the only way to bring her home, then so be it. Remy was about to buckle her into one of the seats, when he looked at her arm. He hated seeing her like this. She really needed some medical attention, not to mention maybe some psychological help -even though he hated to admit it. After the way Rogue blew up at not wanting the others to see her cuts, Remy took off his trench coat and began to put it on Rogue. He made sure to be careful as he slipped her limp arms into the sleeves because she mentioned she might have some broken ribs. Kurt watched on as Remy was careful and tender in tending to his girlfriend. "Do you need some help?" Kurt offered, but Remy shook his head.

"Remy got it," he replied. "But you can do one favour," Remy added looking at Kurt. "Don't tell anyone about th' cuts on Rogue's arms, okay? She wouldn't want anyone to know," Remy explained, tending to Rogue again. He buckled her in her seat and wiped away some rogue strands of hair out of her face.

Kurt watched on as Remy showed such tenderness that he'd never seen the cocky Cajun use before. He really did love Rogue and now Kurt saw just how deep Remy loved Rogue. He was doing everything he could to bring her home and he also wanted to protect her however he could, which mean covering up her arms form the others. "But vont ze professor and Hank ask about her arms ven Hank takes a loot at her?" Kurt asked.

Remy nodded. "Remy tell Xavier and Hank when we back at the mansion. Not to worry."

-----------------

Back at the mansion, Xavier, and Remy stood over Rogue's sedated body in the infirmary. "I'm glad you've brought this to my attention, Remy," Xavier explained.

Remy nodded and looked worriedly at his unconscious girlfriend. "She wouldn't want th' others to know."

Xavier nodded. "I understand. I've asked Hank to stop sedating her. Once the drugs wear off, hopefully because it is night time, she will continue to sleep through a normal sleep cycle and when she wakes in the morning, you and I will see how she is going. I'm going to have to insist on taking Rogue to see a psychologist.

Remy nodded. He knew Rogue needed psychological help if she'd resulted to self-harm, but he was so glad that she was back home, that all he wanted to do was talk to her and make sure she knew how sorry he was for letting everyone know that she and Logan were sleeping together. He looked down at Rogue and held her hand. He rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb.

"Come, Remy," Xavier said, "It's late. Let her sleep."

Remy nodded. It was after midnight and everyone else had gone to bed. Remy leaned down and kissed Rogue on her cheek, trying to avoid the large bruise on it. "Night, Chere."

---------------

'_This never would have happened if Logan didn't take you out that night. He's the one that started this whole mess!'_

'No! Ah'm tah blame. Ah was lonely and stupid.'

'But he's the reason why you felt so isolated from everyone. You couldn't tell anyone about how you kept fuckin' him behind closed doors. He's the teacher. He should have known better than to fuck you.' 

'No. It's all mah fault. If ah didn't drive Remy away, ah never would have done.. that, with Logan. Ah'm so stupid! Ah messed up mah life so much! Ah'm such a failure! And ah know ah can't escape it now. Ah can't go back to normal anymore.'

'_But you can go back. You **can** erase it all. You can erase Logan from your life forever.'_

With the sedatives worn off, Rogue woke up to find herself in the infirmary. She remembered Remy and Kurt taking her forcibly from her 'home' and obviously she'd been brought back to the mansion. She may have only just woken up, but she remembered the dream she'd just had. "Ah can erase Logan from mah life forever.."

Rogue threw her legs over the side of the bed. She realised that someone had cleaned her up and she was now wearing only a tank top and shorts. She could see the large graze up the side of her left leg more clearly now and after lifting up the side of her top, she noticed that someone had given her a few stitches too. She walked over towards the large steel door, her bare feet felt the cold of the tiles as she walked over to it. She opened the door and looked out into the dark hallway. Her eyes still hadn't adjusted to the darkness. Streams of moonlight shone in from the windows. Rogue tread quietly down the hallway, hoping that no-one would hear her moving around. Rogue had one thing in mind and one thing only. Erasing Logan from her life.

------------------

Logan lay in his bed, watching the late night news on his television. Ororo came to him earlier in the night to tell him that they found Rogue, but watching the news broadcasts about the 'missing biker' kept making him worry about her. All he'd heard was that she was pretty beaten up from the fall off the bike, but that was it. He was still confined to his room, and with Rogue back, he was sure Xavier would send him away soon. But if he was going to leave, he wanted to see her one more time.

The sound of his bedroom door unlocking from the outside caught Logan's attention. He was going to take this opportunity. He turned off the TV and pretended to be asleep. He wanted to incapacitate whoever entered the room and then go see Rogue. But when the door opened, he didn't expect his nose to pickup Rogue's scent. Logan opened his eyes and looked towards the doorway. "Rogue!" Logan sat up in bed. "You're back! What are you-" Logan had one million questions to ask her, but Rogue cut him off.

Rogue let out a "Shh," and Logan could see her silhouette walk a few steps closer. "Don't move. Ah'll come tah yah," She whispered to him. Logan couldn't help but feel excited. He found it unbelievable that Rogue would approach him, and so privately at an hour when everyone else was still sleeping.

"I'm.. I'm glad you're okay," Logan said nervously as Rogue continued to approach him.

Rogue stopped at the foot of Logan's bed. He was practically wetting himself over the fantasy of Rogue coming to see him in such minimal clothing in the middle of the night. "Ah'll be fine," Rogue whispered. She then crawled onto the bed, over Logan's legs. She tried to hold in the pain in her wrist and knees from the crash as she crawled towards Logan. She didn't want him to know what was coming next, or it would have foiled her plan. Rogue positioned herself so that she was straddling Logan's hips. She pressed her body up against Logan's bare chest and put her hands on his shoulders. "Ah'll be fine _real_ soon.." She whispered cunningly into his ear and then cupped Logan's face.

Just when Logan thought he was going to have one final sexual night with Rogue, he felt his skin pull. Rogue was absorbing him. Logan cried out but it didn't stop Rogue. "Ah'll make it all go away.." Rogue whispered to herself. Logan's scream bellowed throughout the hallways of the mansion.

Scott, Kurt and Remy were the first ones to reach Logan's room. When they three guys ran into the room and switched on the light, they all stood in shock at the sight of Rogue attacking Logan. Her face was emotionless, cold. Logan's hands were wrapped around Rogue's wrists, as if he were trying to rip her hands off him. But with his strength quickly leaving him, all he could do was hold onto her.

Kurt was the first to act and ported himself on the bed, right behind Rogue. He put his hands on her upper arms to pull her off Logan, but when Kurt touched her bare skin, he too started to get absorbed. "Mein Got!" Kurt exclaimed as he pulled his hands away form Rogue's skin. Scott and Remy ran towards the bed to help Kurt. Scott tried to pry Logan's hands off Rogue and could also feel a tiny twinge as if Rogue was absorbing him indirectly through Logan. Kurt wrapped his tail around Rogue's waist and Remy followed, grabbing Rogue around the hips. "Pull!" Remy yelled. With the three boys pulling Rogue and Logan apart, Rogue was forced to release Logan. Kurt, Remy and Rogue were all thrown backwards off the bed and Scott landed backwards on the bed head, catching the now unconscious Logan in his arms.

"No! Ah have tah end it!" Rogue yelled, trying to crawl back up onto the bed. Remy quickly grabbed Rogue around the waist and threw her to the ground. He then tried to pin her down, with Kurt helping. "Get off me!" Rogue cried. "Ah want tah go back tah how it was!" Rogue made her skin absorb Remy and Kurt when they touched her and so the boys were forced to let her go. She quickly got back up and crawled frantically up onto the bed. Scott had one hand on his sunglasses, ready. "Don't, Rogue! I'll shoot!" he warned and Rogue stopped crawling closer to him and Logan.

Remy grabbed Rogue again and pulled her onto the floor with him again. This time, instead of trying to pin her down, Remy held her in her arms in a tight hug. "Shh, Chere," He soothed, but Rogue resisted and tried to pull away again.

"Remy! Please! Ah just want us tah be happy!" Rogue pleaded. Tears ran down her face as she sobbed in Remy's arms. Remy rocked himself and Rogue slowly in a hope that it will calm her. "Ah want us tah be happy together again," Rogue sobbed. "Ah miss yah, Remy," Rogue whispered.

Remy nodded, still running his hand down the back of her head, "Remy loves you, Mon Ami."

Suddenly, Rogue pulled back and grabbed Remy's head and leaned close to his left ear. "Ah wish ah never slept with Logan," she whispered and then let go of Remy's face.

Remy felt tears well up in his eyes. "Ya' know, Chere. That th' first time you say that t' Remy," Remy said. Remy wiped the stray hairs out of Rogue's face and leaned in to kiss her. The only thing was, just as Remy's lips touched Rogue's, Rogue fell backwards and limp. Remy caught her and brought her body back up against his, her head now resting on his shoulder.

In Logan's doorway was Xavier, with half the students and teachers standing behind him. "I'm sorry, Remy. I felt it safer if she were unconscious right now," Xavier explained. Remy nodded and looked down at his unconscious girlfriend. In the whole scuffle, Remy hadn't even noticed that when Rogue absorbed Logan's healing powers, all her wounds had healed themselves. Her face was smooth as porcelain again and Remy couldn't help but kiss her forehead. He ran his hand down her left arm and felt her skin was smooth again. Her self-inflicted cuts were now gone. Remy was somewhat thankful that her cuts were gone. He hated seeing her like that, and that he was in part to blame for her harming herself.

Hank finally arrived with his med-kit and ran to Logan's body. After examining Logan for a minute, Hank announced that Logan was alive –barely.

-----------------

-_Two Days Later-_

Remy sat on the infamous uncomfortable chair at Rogue's bedside. The Professor had insisted on keeping Rogue confined to the infirmary until he could think of a way to resolve the situation. Remy was tired. It was early in the morning and Remy had stayed up all night, watching Rogue. She was sleeping soundly, but Remy felt helpless when she called out in her sleep. She was having nightmares- and constantly. "Remy will look after y' from now on, Chere. Remy never leave you," he whispered. His brain felt like it was shutting itself off, so he leaned his head forward on Rogue's bed and used his arm as a pillow. He was asleep within seconds.

-------------

Logan walked into Xavier's study. His palms were sweating and his heart racing. He was nervous. He was finally allowed out of his room and he had to go see Xavier, with Storm and Beast as a chaperone. This couldn't be good.

Ororo and Hank waited outside Xavier's study. Logan saw Xavier sitting behind his desk, waiting for Logan to be seated. Logan did as expected and sat down in the chair opposite Xavier. "Logan," Xavier began. "I've asked for you to come see me because I believe I've come up with a resolution to the problems that this mansion has been plagued with."

Logan nodded. "You want me to leave.." Logan stated.

Xavier nodded. "I'm sorry, Logan. But as I've stated before, if you continued your relationship with Rogue, I'd be forced to ask you to leave. Now, I know I belayed that request because Rogue ran away, but now that she's back and I've figured out a way to solve the problem.."

"How do you mean 'solved the problem'?" Logan asked. He assumed that maybe Xavier was going to send Rogue to see a psychologist or something, but Charles Xavier had other plans.

Xavier clasped leaned his elbows on the mahogany desk in front of him and clasped his hands together. "I've thought about this for a while, Logan, and I feel that the only way to restore peace here is to erase the memories of everyone here."

Logan's head cocked back in shock. "You're gonna make everyone forget!" Logan exclaimed. "Is that the only way?"

Xavier nodded. "I'm sorry, Logan. It's the only way that I feel can help Rogue recover from her self-mutilation and depression. And it would be preferable if everyone here forgot everything that happened."

Logan took a long breath. "I guess I'll just have to live with that," he explained.

Xavier unclasped his hands and looked apologetically at Logan. "I'm going to alter the memories of everyone here before you leave today. Everyone will remember Remy's sudden departure, and that you took Rogue out for her birthday. However, I am going to alter their memories so that they not remember the illicit relationship you and Rogue had. They'll all think that you two were and still are friends only and that you're stabbing of Remy was just an accident. Rogue will _only_ remember being depressed when Remy first left her and as far as her and Remy are concerned, they got back together and you have had no influence on their relationship," Xavier explained. "Is that understood, Logan?"

Logan nodded. "So you're going to do this now, while I'm in here?"

Xavier nodded. "The reason why I wanted you in here while it happened is because I have to discuss something with you first. You're to leave the mansion today for a period of time that I have not yet determined. However, as your punishment for your actions here, I've decided that I will not erase _your_ memory of the last few months. You and I will be the only people to ever remember what really happened here. I will never speak of it again, and you must live with the consequences of your actions."

-----------------

Logan stood at the front door of the mansion, his large knapsack over his shoulder. Across the front garden under the large oak tree, sat Remy and Rogue. Remy sat with his legs outstretched and holding his upper body up with his hands placed on the ground behind him. Rogue lay on her back next to Remy, her head resting in his lap as she read a book. Logan could see that these were the effects of Xavier's mind-wiping. The couple seemed happy again, and Rogue smiled as Remy stole her book from her. Remy was now running around the garden as Rogue followed, trying to get her book back. The two were laughing and so happy that it made Logan wish he had that with Rogue. Unfortunately, no one will ever know how he feels about the southern beauty. Even after her trying to kill him, he still missed what they had. Logan sighed and walked over to the garage unnoticed. As he pushed his motorbike out of the garage and strapped his knapsack on the back, Rogue and Remy spotted him.

"Hey Logan!" Rogue greeted as she ran up to him. Remy, having realised that Rogue had abandoned retrieving her book back off him, followed Rogue.

"Where y'goin, Logan?" Remy asked, noticing the big knapsack.

Logan looked down and saw Rogue and Remy holding hands. Rogue's hand was bare and he had no doubt that Rogue was exhilarated to be able to touch without gloves. Logan didn't really know how to react in front of the two. The last time he saw them was a few days ago when Rogue was trying to kill him. Logan didn't remember much of it, but before passing out, he remembered the boys coming to his rescue. Logan found it hard to believe that they didn't remember what had happened. Things had gotten extremely traumatic for a while there and to be only one to remember that was the hardest thing Logan had ever had to live with. "I've decided to leave here for a while," Logan explained. "I.. I don't know how long I'll be gone," His voice choked up. He wasn't leaving because he wanted to. He was leaving because he was forced to. He already missed his home and the people in it.

Rogue let go of Remy's hand and took a step closer to Logan. "What! Why?" Rogue exclaimed. "Why are ya leavin'?"

Logan took a deep breath. Only a few days ago, Rogue was trying to kill him and only a couple of months ago, she was making love to him. But Logan was somewhat glad she didn't remember any of it. She seemed to have gained back her innocence and thirst for life. And Logan was not prepared to wreck that for her again.

"I just need to go somewhere to.. to find peace," Logan explained.

"And where do y' think you'll go?" Remy asked.

Logan smiled. He finally remembered a place he'd longed to go back to for a long time. "There's a village in Japan that I haven't been to in a long while. It's a simple town but I felt more at peace there than I ever have anywhere else."

Rogue's eyes became teary. "Are yah leaving us for good?" She asked, taking another step closer to Logan.

Logan felt like his heart was going to fail. He was breaking Rogue's heart and he hated seeing her like that. "I'll come back one day, Stripes," Logan assured her. He took Rogue into his embrace.

"So does this mean now Remy can sleep in everyday? No more 6am training sessions?" Remy smirked.

Logan smiled at the joke and offered a hand out to Remy. Remy took it and the two men shook hands for the first time. "You look after her, okay?" Logan instructed. He then let go of Rogue and she walked backwards until she was in Remy's arms again. "Or else I'll have to come back and samurai your ass," Logan joked.

Logan turned and got on his hog. He started it up and put his helmet on. He looked over at Rogue and Remy one more time before driving off and left the mansion.

Remy, holding his girlfriend, hugged her tighter. "Don't worry, mon ami. He'll be back."

Rogue let out a sad smile. "Ah know.."

Remy smiled to himself. "So while he's gone, does that mean there ain't nobody t' save you from Remy's charming demeanour?" Remy asked seductively as he gave Rogue a raspberry on her neck.

Rogue laughed. "You are so dead, swamp rat!" Rogue laughed as she gave Remy a light punch in the arm. She then blew him a kiss and ran off towards the garden they were sitting in only minutes before.

Remy smiled to himself as he saw his laughing girlfriend running away from him. She looked over her shoulder at him, her eyes screaming out for him to chase after her and follow her in her game of tag. "Remy going to marry that girl someday.." Remy said to himself before chasing after his girlfriend.

**THE END!**

* * *

**_Author's notes:_** Well? What did ya's think? I couldn't stop myself from making it a happy ending! I've been debating on whether or not to write a sequel, but them's just roumour-talk for now! Hahah PLEASE PLEASE review! tell me what you liked, tell me what you hated! I wanna hear it all! And Thank-you thank-you so much to everyone who's been following this story and thank you all for your reviews and especially for those reviews telling me to hurry up with the last chapter! (ive been so lazy lately). Okay, well, I wish you all great lives and happy reading! 


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